Tag: relationships

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS FOR DEALING WITH A DIFFICULT CHILD

    October 24, 2023- A person is very fortunate who has not had a difficult child at one time or another during the period they were being raised. In my work with parents trying to learn how to deal with a difficult child, my point is not to find fault with parenting techniques that have been used up to that time, but rather to try to find the best way for the parents to be able to work with a difficult child in the here and now. An important thing to remember is that children do not misbehave simply because they desire to do it. There is a reason for the behavior. It can be a parent is too strict or too lax. There are many other reasons that the misbehavior can occur. The important thing is to try to learn why is your child being so difficult with you. If it is hard to determine from all the possibilities ranging from a child wanting to control the house to a child simply desiring attention and willing to accept negative attention versus no attention,do not worry. The important thing is to try the following strategies to help you and your child: 1. Recognize you are a parent and your job is to model good behavior and not allow you or your child to be rude or disrespectful. 2. Regardless of what has happened to the present, you need to set up boundaries on what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. 3. Keep control of your own emotions and not allow your child to create a sibling-like relationship with you that simply devolves into constant arguing and disagreement. 4. Seek out when your child is behaving appropriately and praise them at that time. The goal is to encourage and reinforce appropriate behavior. Too often the parent says nothing when the child is behaving appropriately for the risk of beginning a conflict. 5. Reward good behavior when possible with compliments and potentially with desired activities or things as long as it is not simply a child being good to receive rewards. It is important to remember that when children behave as desired,we often do good things for them and see it as appropriate. 6. Have few rules in the house and enforce them with consequences that the child is aware of with no surprises. 7. As possible, have family discussions where there can be agreements on what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior, and what are the consequences for inappropriate behavior. When this occurs, and you and the child are aware their activities have led to the resulting consequences,they then must accept the consequences as their own making. Successful family discussions relating to appropriate behaviors are not simple to do but something to work on as a family over a period of time. What are acceptable behaviors by you can also be part of the plan. 8.. Take into account your own temperament and personality when dealing with your child. It is very possible the temperament and personality of your child are quite different from you and this leads to a lot of the bumping heads that is occurring between you. Try to use an approach that takes into account the needs of your personality as well as that of your child. Understanding these differences can be critical in developing good communication between the two of you. 9. Recognize situations where there are high risks of problems occurring and plan accordingly for how you will react to them. 10. Make sure you focus on the problem of the moment and do not bring in previous problems lest the discussion become one of a list of problems and not a resolution of a current one. 11. Seek out a therapist who can help your child behave more appropriately and potentially do family counseling. 10. Seek out an experienced therapist in family dynamics who can help guide you to be a more effective parent for both you and your child.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss BE PREPARED PSYCHOLOGICALLY FOR RETIREMENT

    October 10, 2023:

    BE PREPARED PSYCHOLOGICALLY FOR RETIREMENT

    I have learned in my work as a psychologist over the decades that persons when getting ready to retire, often do it with planning about their physical and financial conditions. Without a doubt,these are important areas to evaluate when you consider retirement. The problem is too often persons do not think about what the impact retirement will have on them psychologically. For example, a job is more than something a person simply spends time at. No,a job impacts a person’s self esteem, friendships, and image to all persons they meet and interact with. Being a farmer, psychologist, bookkeeper , physician , governmental worker, factory worker, radio broadcaster, etc., is a major part of who they are. When they retire, they become a “retired person” and people see them as such. This can be fine for many persons, but many others do not realize the importance their job had on them in relation to status, levels of friendship, levels of authority and the constant interaction and challenges in the workplace. One needs to prepare for such a radical change to their lives. Even persons who did not like their jobs can miss the relationships and interactions that were meaningful to them on a day to day basis. I have known and worked with many persons who were not prepared for the significant changes that occur in their life after retirement. The “golden retirement years” can be depressing , lonely, and demoralizing when the person feels isolated,bored and even without purpose. They can even feel guilty at their failure to feel fulfilled with their retirement . A recent AARP study found 57% of retired persons say they had not prepared psychologically for retirement. The following are some suggestions to help a person be psychologically ready to retire: 1.Make sure you want to do it and are ready psychologically. 2.Do not let age be the primary retirement determinant. I will be 80 years old this week and have never thought a day of retiring. 3.See retirement as a new phase of your life with new goals and challenges. 4.Look for new dreams to be fulfilled. 5.Join new groups and rekindle old friendships. 6.Enhance family and spousal relationships. 7.Complete desired educational goals you desire to complete. 8.Meet with a therapist experienced in dealing with mental health of persons preparing to retire as well as retired persons. 9.Further develop your sense of spirituality and purpose in life.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHEN TO STAY AFTER AN AFFAIR

    10-03-2023-

    WHEN TO STAY AFTER AN AFFAIR

    This is our third segment on affairs and their effects on relationships. We discussed why persons have affairs and what the person who had it can try to do to salvage the relationship. Today we discuss why the aggrieved partner chooses to stay in the relationship when the philanderer has true remorse and wants the relationship to continue. This remorse is the key first step in keeping the marriage together. Further factors would include the following: 1.Good friends who enjoy the company of each other and the sharing of their lives. 2. Similar moral and/or spiritual values. 3. Sexual attraction and sexual needs. 4. Children and the impact on them. 5. Common interests and joint activities. 6. Financial considerations. 7. Future joint dreams and goals. 8. Probability or belief spouse or partner will never again philander. 9.Emotional needs being met.10. Willingness to take part in counseling. 11. And most importantly,a strong bond of love.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM Rebuilding Trust After an Affair- subscribe to our YouTube page!

    September 26, 2023 Last week we discussed why persons have affairs. Today we are going to talk about how the person who had the affair can help rekindle the love in the relationship if the partner is willing to give the marriage or relationship another chance. It is critical that the person who had the affair clearly has remorse for what has occurred and tries to do everything possible to convince a spouse or partner what occurred was truly a betrayal, and will never happen again. The process will predictably be very slow and frustrating to the person who simply wants to let the past go and move on. That is not how things work in rebuilding a relationship where betrayal exists. When a person loves someone and believes they are loved equally, betrayal and infidelity are devastating to the whole underpinnings of the relationship and it is very hard to convince them they truly are the primary focus of the love of the person. The following are suggestions to try to make this happen: 1.Total authentic remorse. 2. Great long term patience. 3. Recognition the questions will keep coming over and over again. 4. Doubts about the authenticity of your remorse may be questioned for a very long period. 5. Always explain where you are when questioned during the rebuilding of love and trust period. 6. The timeline for forgiveness and building a different but potentially better love relationship is with the betrayed spouse or partner and not the philanderer. 7. A therapist trained in working with partners is philandering relationships could be helpful. 8.Spirtuality could also be a strong foundation for the rebuilding of the loving relationship. 9.Be aware,the betrayed person may never get over the affair and the marriage may end; however,it will not be because you did not try to authenticity rebuild a loving relationship.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY PERSONS HAVE AFFAIRS

    September 22, 2023-

    WHY PERSONS HAVE AFFAIRS

    Most of us are aware of a person or persons in marriage or monogamous relationships that have intimate relationships with other persons. The opportunities are many in such a fast paced society. The electronic world we live in today allows these relationships to be sexual, emotional, and a combination of the two without being physically together. My purpose here is to talk about why persons do this. The reasons are amazingly varied and can range from shallow sexual relationships to intense online emotional and sexual activity. We will talk another time about how relationships can be salvaged when affairs occur. Reasons would include the following: 1.Persons with an incapacity to commit to a monogamous relationship and never will. 2. Risktakers who enjoy the activity and hope not to get caught. They like living on the edge. 3.Persons who get caught up in the moment and determine they are going to do what they are going to do and not worry about the consequences. 4. Compulsive sex addicts. 5.Those who have affairs while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. 6. Persons who feel a lack of affection and the need to get it outside of the relationship. 7. A breakdown of communication between the spouses or partners that leads to the person feeling they need this and will get it one way or the other. 8. Poor self-esteem and the need to feel better about self by having another person pay them reinforcement and attention. 9. Concerns relating to conversations not taking place in the home and the need for discussion about them that only can occur outside of the home.10. Major physical or mental conditions of a partner such as severe pain, Parkinson’s disease, MS or dementia can lead to someone finding sexual and emotional satisfaction outside of the home. 11. Having children can lead to so much of the focus of the spouse or partner on the children, that the person feels abandoned and obtains sexual and emotional satisfaction outside of the home. 12. Physical separation for extended periods of time and the spouse or partner feels the need for in person sexual and emotional intimacy apart from the phone or visual communication…The point here is not to indicate any of these reasons, as well as many others, justify someone breaking the commitment to a marriage or monogamous relationship. The point is that affairs are incredibly common and it is critical that spouses and partners continually work on their relationships on a daily basis, and be aware that strong friendship is the glue that keeps relationships together. When persons take each other for granted, and do not treat each other like dear friends and let other priorities take precedence over their relationship, then affairs are often sadly the result.

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    THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TORTURE OF OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR(OCD)

    August 29, 2023 Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder(OCD) can psychologically torture a person with a constant cycle of obsessing on an act or thought,having severe anxiety about eliminating it and completing a compulsive act or thought to relieve the sometimes debilitating anxiety. While the OCD sequence can relate to a seemingly almost endless list of thoughts and behaviors,they very commonly occur with extreme cleanliness and hatred of dirt or germs,hand washing,hoarding,keeping things in a rigid or symmetrical manner, numbers, and making sure over and over again you have locked the door or turned out the lights. A good example is the person constantly washing their hands and can only relieve the belief their hands are not dirty by constantly washing them again and again in an endless cycle. I remember a house hoarder who could no longer put things in his house buying another house to reduce his anxiety! An important thing to remember is that everyone has some activities they are very concerned about completing and getting them right. Wanting to have an orderly room or clean hands would be reasonable things for a person to desire and do. It becomes a problem when the OCD symptoms begin to interfere in the life of the person and the resulting anxiety and attempting to resolve it with rituals and time consuming activities and thoughts impact negatively on a person’s life that a person meets the diagnosis of OCD. It also is important to note that OCD symptoms can overlap with anxiety , ADHD, and depression to name a few. It is not unusual for a person with OCD to have additional diagnoses. Over the years, I have talked to many persons with OCD and can verify the condition can really be torturous for the person psychologically. I have talked to persons who are so concerned about food in a restaurant that they will pick through it with a fork and knife to make sure there are no bugs or other forms of dirt in it. Others who will not go to a restaurant out of utterly unreasonable fears of food contamination. Additionally, I have known persons so obsessed with how safe the air they are breathing or the water they are drinking that they are never comfortable with them to the point they are always checking them. This negatively impacts on their ability to function in all areas of their lives…If you feel you have OCD or some of the symptoms are growing and interfering with your psychological well-being,now is a good time to obtain an evaluation by an experienced psychologist in OCD and and also talk to your family physician or pediatrician to take back control of your life. .

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR MEMORY

    August 22, 2023 – We all have questions about our memory at one time or another. Oftentimes, memory issues can relate to high levels of anxiety, depression, prescription medications,drug and alcohol abuse,high blood pressure,brain injury,and the general stressors of life that make it difficult for us to remember things that are important or not important. However, it is also true that as we age problems with memory can become significant, and it is important that we notice when this occurs and determine what we will do to try to control the memory problems as best we can. Typical questions to ask would include the following: 1.Do you feel you have memory loss? If so, how? 2.Do you feel you have intermittent memory problems? If so, how? 3. Do you feel memory problems are causing you significant problems in your personal, marital, and/or professional life? If so, how? 4. Have you noted ongoing consistent memory loss? 5. Do you get lost walking or driving in neighborhoods you are very familiar? 6. Do you regularly forget common words you have used daily your whole life? 7. Do you sometimes talk “word salads” that you think are understandable but are not by others? 8. Do you ask the same question over and over again in brief spaces of time and have no idea you are doing it? 9. Who has noticed you may have memory problems? If so, what specific examples and concerns are mentioned? 10. Are you under significant stress in your life? 11.Do you have high blood pressure, insomnia, stroke history or other physical conditions that could relate to your memory loss?… If you answer yes to some of these questions, it is important you talk to your family doctor and a psychologist skilled in the assessment of memory problems to determine the extent of the problems and possible medical and mental health help to positively impact on the symptoms as much as possible.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY ONE-SIDED RELATIONSHIPS ARE SO EMOTIONALLY DEBILITATING

    August 22, 2023

    WHY ONE-SIDED RELATIONSHIPS ARE SO EMOTIONALLY DEBILITATING

    Being in a one-sided relationship can be devastating for someone emotionally. Persons enter into relationships with a goal of feeling more fulfilled by sharing a lifetime of experiences with someone. In the one-sided relationship, this never occurs. The person is constantly trying to meet the mercurial needs of the person that can never be met.The goal posts keep being moved, regardless of how hard someone tries. The end result can often be anxiety, insomnia, depression, hypervigilant, and never feeling fulfilled emotionally. There is a deep feeling of discontent and even hopelessness in the soul of the person that can be emotionally debilitating . It also can cause physical problems such as high blood pressure and headaches.Typical signs you are in such a relationship would include that you never feel secure, you feel poorly after interactions, you try to have a more meaningful relationship that never goes anywhere, you do not share your feelings with your partner, you will have constant feelings of rejection, you are always afraid of upsetting your partner and feel you are always walking on eggshells, you are always wrong and even sometimes called stupid, your self-esteem is shattered, you constantly make excuses for your partner , and cherish the few crumbs of kindness you receive in an ocean of torment as something that will occur more frequently but never does. Is this you to one degree or another? Then now is the time to understand why this is happening and what you can do to overcome it. No one deserves to exist in a one-sided relationship that only criticism,poor self-esteem and unhappiness are the rewards.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss NEGATIVE IMPACT UNDIAGNOSED ASD CAN HAVE ON RELATIONSHIPS

    June 13, 2023

    NEGATIVE IMPACT UNDIAGNOSED ASD CAN HAVE ON RELATIONSHIPS

    Persons with high functioning Autism Sprectrum Disorder or ASD can have difficulty in their ability to develop close relationships with others and vice versa. This is because high functioning persons with ASD often do not read social cues and have problems connecting socially with others. The social deficits and impairments lead to them often being mocked or seen as odd non-caring persons. This can particularly be difficult and painful in family relationships where parents,spouses,children or siblings strongly desire a close relationship and misinterpret their apparent aloofness as signs of lack of interest or even lack of caring or desired social availability. In reality,they often lack the soft social skills and awareness to have close intimate relationships. They also may be fearful of social relationships due to a lifetime of rejection and misunderstanding due to their inability to effectively socially interact. Things are improving for persons with ASD as we as a society are more tuned into the reality of ASD and it’s impact on the person. There are now an estimated 5.4 million adults with ASD. The awareness that high functioning ASD persons are our friends,acquaintances, family members and even parents can lead to more sensitivity and awareness of the issues they experience every day of their lives. Obviously,the symptoms vary in intensity and impact in their interpersonal relationships. Typical symptoms of persons with high functioning ASD would include the following: 1.Difficulty relating socially. This can include family,spouse and children. 2.Intense interest in certain things. 3.Great desire for predictable routines. 4.Problems processing emotional interactions. 5.Promlems expressing inner feelings. 6.Lectures rather than communicates. 7.Speaks in a monotone voice. 8.Often also can have anxiety,depression,ADHD and learning delays.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 WILS discuss DIAGNOSING ADULT AUTISM Spectrum Disorder(ASD)

    4-18-2023 Subscribe to our YouTube page Autism was not added as a diagnosis until 1980 into the DSM-3. I was already functioning as a Full License Psychologist at that time! The definition has evolved into the current DSM-5. Over these years since 1980,diagnosis and treatment have been overwhelmingly related to children. This is changing as more and more persons are being diagnosed by Psychologists and Psychiatrists experienced with Autism Spectrum Disorder(ASD) Diagnosis. In our office we have been consistently getting more such referrals the past few years. In 2020,the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimated that 2.4% of the adult population has ASD. it appears this percentage will continue to increase as our society becomes more knowledgeable on the condition. Many high functioning adults with ASD have not been diagnosed because they have been able to mask their symptoms or have never been challenged in their life -space beyond their limited social skills when compared to the average person. Common characteristics of ASD would include the following: 1.Having difficulty understanding what others are thinking, or feeling. 2.Finding it hard to develop friendships or preferring to be alone 3.Becoming very anxious and awkward in social situations. 4.Appearing rude, blunt, or not interested in what others are saying. 5.Finding it hard to express feelings appropriately in social settings with groups or individuals. 6.Taking words, statements, and idioms literally. 7.Having certain routines that are consistent day after day. 8.Not understanding the rules of social interaction and saying inappropriate things with no awareness they are inappropriate. 9.Obsessive amount of time spent on a specific topic, and only wanting to study all about it and discuss it with others who may have no interest. 10.Doing repetitive actions over and over again such as rocking in a chair, tapping fingers or putting hands consistently through the hair. 11.Speaking in a noticeably monotone or hollow-like tone…A problem with appropriate diagnosis is that other conditions relating to anxiety,depression,OCD and cognitive impairment have a number of the same symptoms. It also is true many persons with ASD can also have an additional diagnosis. We have found this to be particularly true with ADHD,anxiety disorders and OCD.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss FALSE BELIEFS ON MARITAL AFFAIRS

    03-14-2023-Considering how common marital affairs are,it is amazing how many false beliefs there are about them. I have found this to be true since beginning to work with couples back in the 70s to the present. Common false beliefs would include the following: 1.Closely monitoring the whereabouts of a spouse will eliminate marital affairs. It may help,but someone determined to have affairs will have them. 2.Affairs do not occur when there is good intimacy in the home. Even though the chances of marital affairs are less in such cases,they still occur. 3.Spouses who cheat do not love their spouses. While most would agree with this,it is sadly not always true. This is particularly true with the “one nighters” or brief flings. 4.Infidelity is just about sex. This is not true. Spouses often have affairs to show they are still young,desirable,attractive or to enhance their ego. There also may be anger,wanting to feel loved,need for affection or showing control. 5.Spouses who cheat once will always cheat again. While the probabilities are higher in such cases,it is often not the case. The possible shame,remorse and possibility of losing economic power,a spouse and family can be so powerful that once is often enough. 6.Marriage cannot survive a marital affair. While this is often the case,it is not always true. Hard work and total honesty as a couple can reset the marriage on the loving course it started out. Marriages also survive due to finances,low self-esteem of the spouse,lack of love,family expectations and responsibilities.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING A GOOD FATHER FIGURE

    3-7-2023- SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YOUTUBE PAGE! This is the fourth segment I am doing on fathers/dads.The topics covered were the joys of being a father,why fathers abandon their children and what makes a good father. Today the topic is the obvious importance of having good, caring, and loving father figures for modeling along with financial and emotional support. Mike and I will kick some of these thoughts around. He also is a father/dad very interested in the role of fathers. Children clearly look to their fathers for modeling, security, unconditional love, and availability from birth through their teenage years and often beyond that for the rest of their lives. The data are clear for various generations that daughters with good relationships with their fathers tend to seek and choose responsible men like their fathers and tend to have more successful marriages. They understand appropriate and inappropriate treatment and are more tolerant of the normal problems and concerns that occur in the best of marriages. Boys with involved fathers have the opportunity to spend time with them and learn how to be an effective male model and grow to be successful fathers and spouses themselves. I think it is a safe thing to say we are in a society where way too many children are being raised without fathers, and this is most unfortunate and sometimes very destructive to the children except in cases with abusive and destructive fathers. Leaving those bad fathers aside,we can certainly say there is a need for our society to encourage and support good father figures in the lives of their children, and hopefully a married situation, but if not, at least in the situation where the father and the mother of the child can interact in a civil fashion, and each work directly to best enhance the opportunity of the child succeeding in life with reduced anxiety,depression and feelings of alienation or abandonment. Anyone who has had a good father/dad figure knows how critical he has been in their personal development. They are apt to want to continue this type of behavior with their children. Fathers who have not had good father figure modeling experiences, need to experience them in churches,family members,schools, sporting centers, or wherever good modeling can be made available so they can see what good fathering is and try to pick up those skills and use them themselves. As a society, we need to encourage fathers to be responsible father figures when having children and encourage them to develop lifelong relationships filled with love and caring. The rewards for fathers,couples,children and overall society are incalculable with good father figures.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHAT MAKES A GOOD FATHER

    02-28-2023- Subscribe to our YouTube page! Today is our third of four segments on fathers. Children of good fathers may debate what is the top quality of a father,but there is little doubt that certain traits come forward. Children who have or had good loving fathers regularly talk about the good times they had in their relationships. Those that have not had good fathers often are quite upset about this and feel abandoned or not respected or cared for. It puts a big hole in their lives and resentment that can last a lifetime. The following would be the typical characteristics that one would expect to have in a good father. Not that all fathers have all of these traits, but some combination of them is what would be necessary: 1.Availability in good and bad times is critical. 2.Protection from persons or situations that could be dangerous or harmful for the child. 3.Showing unconditional love and affection. 4.Good modeling of life and work ethics/behaviors that the father wants for the children. 5.Teaching a strong sense of spirituality and/or moral code to help the child deal with the difficulties and the seemingly senseless problems that occur in the world. 6.Have humor and laughter to enjoy family life. 7.Be respectful of the mother whether married or not.8.Be tolerant of mistakes and admit your own. 9.Teach the child the importance of having a balance in life between family life and work life. 10.Model and teach kindness to others and strong family commitment…When fathers have good relationships with their children as they grow up,they will happily continue for a lifetime of ongoing good memories.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY FATHERS ABANDON THEIR CHILDREN

    Subscribe to our YouTube page! – This is the second of four segments on fathers and parenting. Abandonment of a child by a father is a tragedy for the child specifically but also for the father and society as a whole. Children need and deserve love and caring from both parents who bring them into the world. Reasons fathers abandon children are many and would include the following: 1.Feeling inadequate as a parent and feeling the child is better off without them. 2.Horrible relationship with the mother. 3.Indifferent or no relationship with the mother. 4.Legally squeezed by distance or very limited time with the child. 5.Narcissism/total selfishness. 6.Substance abuse. 7.Immaturity. 8.No desire or refusal to pay child support. 9.Belief paying child support is sufficient. 10.Blended families problems. 11.Physical and/or emotional abuse. 12.Workaholic with no time for children. 13.Parental alienation. 14.Divorce. 15.Poverty. 16.Spouse or partner strongly resisting father’s involvement with his child.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discussTHE JOYS OF BEING A FATHER-subscribe to our YouTube page!

    02-07-2023 Today is a shout-out for the joys of being a father. There are few things more joyful than being a father. Whether the father believes from a spiritual perspective a child was sent from God for them to raise to be a good human being, or from a secular perspective nature has provided them a child to raise to be a good human being,the joy of being involved in bringing a new human being into the world is breathtaking and as exciting as it can get. Even sometimes the majesty of seeing a child being born can cause sheer amazement. Even though the mother carries the child, the father is clearly directly involved in the process and what joy when the father sees a child for the first time! While there will be many tears along the way in trying to best raise their child, the choice of being a father and raising your own child can overwhelm anything negative. What a wonderful life-role it is to be a loving father with children. What joy to see a little baby laughing with you or a child thinking you are a strong hero or running to the door yelling papa to hug you when you enter the home from work. I must add,what I say here is impacted by the fact I am the father of two remarkable children. With that said,I believe there are countless fathers around the world who equally love their children and greatly enjoy or have enjoyed raising them until they are successfully launched into their lives.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM HOW TO RAISE SUCCESSFUL CHILDREN- Subscribe to our YouTube Page!

    January 31, 2023 In an age where there is so much competition for the attention of our children, it is important that good parenting take place through monitoring and screening all the input coming in from all directions. This occurs when parents are aware of what is needed to help their children be as successful as they can be in all phases of their lives. The following are the types of traits and skills that need to be reinforced and modeled to have the best opportunity for our children to succeed: 1.Honesty. 2.Self-control. 3.Confidence in self. 4.Curiosity to learn. 4.Perseverance. 5.Positive mantras to live by. 6.Empathy and understanding of others. 7.Optimism versus pessimism. 8.Ongoing honest and sincere encouragement and affirmations for positive behaviors and attitudes. 9.Consistency in rules,routines and expectations. 10.Help develop authenticity on who they are as they grow and develop. 11.Learn to celebrate success of others and not be jealous. 12.Always try again, after the many failures everyone encounters in their lives. 13.Accept their own mistakes and do not blame others. 14.Trying to do your best is being successful. 15.Be reasonable in self expectations. 16.Take time to smell the roses and enjoy the quiet moments of thinking and spiritual development. 17.Make time to help others in a way that can have a positive impact. Just one smile can change the course of another person’s day. 18.Help develop strong personal interaction skills. 19.Reasonable use of computer usage. 20.Encourage positive and supportive friendships. They are critical to a person’s future success. They fuel and reinforce each other in their successful lives.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss Dr Braccio & Mike Austin HOW TO HELP A LOVED SPOUSE/PARTNER TRYING TO OVERCOME UNREASONABLE ANGER

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    January 24, 2023

    Anger is a normal emotion someone feels when frustrated or feeling some level of mistreatment or misunderstanding. Anger can be helpful when protecting self or others from danger and unfair treatment. When someone has problems controlling their anger and relationships suffer or even end,then a person has unreasonable anger that must be controlled. For clarification,I am not talking about anger that results in physical abuse,or ongoing bullying,demeaning and sarcastic treatment. Loving persons cannot be around such abusive persons. We are talking here about when spouses/partners show unreasonable anger and want you to help them overcome an anger problem they acknowledge and want to overcome. Both need to recognize anger is often a secondary emotion that results from such things as fear, depression, jealousy, low self-esteem, high anxiety, substance abuse, family issues, societal expectations,and employment issues. Once the two of you have figured out the causes of the unreasonable anger, the following things can be done to help your loved one overcome it: 1.Identify the triggers for the anger and replace them with healthy ones. 2.Actively listen to what bothers them to fully understand it. 3.Always try to be as calm as possible. 4.Change the focus of a discussion that is going nowhere. 5.Allow them emotional space as needed when they are working out their anger. 6.Set boundaries for what you will accept and not accept that both of you understand and agree. 7.Make supportive statements. 8.As needed, strongly support them to seek professional help from an experienced therapist in anger management. 9.Support sought for spiritual growth and support. 10.Make sure in the process you look after your own emotional well-being. 11.Do not become co-dependent if the person does not change and you continue over and over again to put up with the anger they choose to not overcome. This is especially true if the anger is directed at you.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss HOW TO BE SUPPORTIVE OF A PERSON YOU CARE FOR IN SUBSTANCE ABUSE RECOVERY

    1-10-2023

    Substance abuse is a problem for millions of Americans. Over 110,000 person died of drug overdose in 2022. Fentanyl is the number one cause of deaths in the United States between the ages of 18-45. These numbers do not include alcohol and other drug related deaths and problems that plague the country. It destroys not only the lives of the persons with the addiction, but impacts all those around them who love and care for them. We want to help persons in sobriety to end the addiction and return to the person they were and can be. Many of us are aware of situations where parents have had children taken away from them or must submit to supervised visitation restrictions due to addiction. Most of us know of persons who have lost jobs and had marriages destroyed. Or persons who have worn out their welcome to family,children and friends by constant lying,running around with other addicts,stealing and asking for money that leads to continued drug use. Additionally, addictive persons lose all sense of right and wrong and can get involved in illegal activities they never would have without addiction. Sadly,this can lead to criminal records and often times of incarceration. While this bleak view of addiction is sadly accurate, when a person is in sobriety and overcoming the addiction,it is important we offer as much support as we can to those we love and care for. While it is important for the person without an addiction to try to understand the causes of addiction, my point here is to give basic suggestions on how someone can be supportive of the person in sobriety and needing all the support available: 1.As appropriate,let the person know you do love and care for them as human beings. 2.Sincerely support their sobriety efforts with encouragement. 3.Call them for general discussion and talking about things other than just sobriety. 4.Let them know everyone needs help at times. 5.Let them know they are not alone. They can call you any time. 6.Invite them to events with family and friends and even just with you to get them away from loneliness and temptation. 7.Recognize in your own mind that addiction is a disease and not a mental health defect. 8.Check in regularly even if just with a friendly message of hello. 9.Be aware and sympathetic to the temptation to return to using and being around other users is tremendously powerful when feeling isolated with not much hope. 10.Always give hope and indicate now is the beginning of their lives. The past is a memory. 11.Let them know you are proud of them and their efforts. 12.At times,just listen.

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss STOP OVERSHARING INAPPROPRIATE INFORMATION IN SOCIAL INTERACTIONS WHEN FEELING SOCIALLY AWKWARD AND SOCIALLY ANXIOUS

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    January 4, 2022

    Let us begin by eliminating the narcissist who always wants to share information with an often seductive and always deceitful purpose in mind. The oversharing of persons who have social awkwardness and social anxiety has nothing in common with the self-serving communications of the narcissist. In fact,I have often found persons who are socially awkward and socially anxious are very sensitive and caring persons…A common problem for the socially awkward and socially anxious person is to overshare information in an inappropriate manner that makes the other person feel uncomfortable and makes them afterwards upset with themselves about how much information was inappropriately shared. This happens when someone may be anxious when the conversation does not seem to be going anywhere and they feel the need to fill it in with information that may go far beyond what would be appropriate in such a situation. For example, if in the checkout lane at the grocery store and someone asks you how you are and you start talking in detail about all the problems you are having with your spouse. This would not be appropriate. To do this with a co-worker or acquaintance would be worse. Persons do this often without thinking about possible negative consequences in relationships or making other persons uncomfortable when sharing too much about themselves. This information can even be used against them. Some persons also do this too often when trying too fast to move along a relationship and turn the person off. Another reason persons do this who are socially anxious is they worry about how they are being perceived and feel the need to be liked and wrongfully believe this can be best done by giving what they erroneously believe is an authentic presentation of how they are feeling. Being authentic is quite different from sharing information that is not appropriate. If this continues happening to you over and over again even when you start picking up cues they are uncomfortable with all the information you are sharing,this can become a big problem with the quality of your social interactions and even friendships. If this is a problem you are having, and it is more of a common problem than you might think, the following are suggestions on what to do to limit oversharing inappropriate information: 1.Think before you speak. Always have in mind what are appropriate and inappropriate things to say. 2.If in doubt or anxious about where a conversation is going or if there is silence, simply have some questions to continue the discussion rather than rambling on giving too much information. 3.Slow down the pace of the conversation when you are speaking to have more control over what you say. Too often,persons ramble on because of the need they feel to continue the conversation. 4.If using social media, think before you send messages to better determine what is appropriate to say or not say. 5.If you realize you are entering into a conversation that is going the wrong direction, shift the conversation and try to talk about something else. 6.Keep a journal of your conversations and see if there is a pattern to who and what you overshare and when you do it. You can use this information to help you not do it any more or at least begin to make it occur far less frequently. Your journal is a link into yourself to try to analyze and find why you are sharing the information with persons and start better monitoring the information you share at a global level. This will over time hopefully lead to a new communication style with persons. 7.You are far better off to feel awkward in a conversation and not overshare than feel guilty for what you said. 8.Talk to family,friends and persons you trust and ask them when they feel you have overshared information that could be seen as inappropriate and/or negative for you. 9.If you feel the need,seek out a trained therapist who can role-play with you on conversations you have had where you feel you have overshared information and learn techniques to overcome this problem. 

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    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss MAKE 2023 THE YEAR WE BECOME WHO WE BELIEVE WE CAN

    December 30, 2022- Too many persons,including psychologists,believe personalities are more or less set in adults and even adolescents and do not change. I do not accept that view at all. If someone has a vision of who they want to be and will make the necessary changes,they can do it. I have seen it in many persons I have worked with over the years both as a psychologist and one traveling the road of life. While Rome was not built in a day,making fundamental changes in self requires hard work. For example,one does not go from being deceitful on a daily basis to stopping in one day. The same is true of the person who is sarcastic and hurtful of others. The chronic inappropriate flirt and philanderer also do not change overnight. However,change can occur with a strong beginning if the person declares those behaviors are not only who they are not but are toxic to them as persons. Step one is to determine who you want to be and know you can be that person. That vision of yourself is always in your mind and your thoughts and actions are directed to being that person. Who we are and how we behave are the most powerful tools we human beings have to determine who we are and the course in life we will take to that end. Whether small or major character remodeling,use 2023 as the launchpad to be who you choose to be for the rest of your lives. Go for it with super gusto! Your future begins now.