March 12, 2024- It is amazing how many wonderful people who have the kindest of hearts and the most willingness to help others are often overwhelmed with responsibilities. They have agreed to enter into what makes their lives a completely stressful and overwhelming experience. When one thinks of it, “no” is just a word with two letters. When one considers we use thousands of words in our lives, it is amazing how that word can make life so difficult when one cannot use it. Way too many persons feel they have to say “yes” when asked to do something. This is often learned from an early age when they were children and their parents and other adults told them to always try to be helpful and do what was requested of them. It also can be true that persons feel saying “no” is hurtful and not being a good human being. Still others will not say “no” out of feelings of guilt if they do not do what is asked of them. Still others do it out of a sense of duty that someone has asked them and it would be wrong for them not to do it. Still others cannot say “no” to families out of love and sometimes engrained guilt. My point here is not that saying “yes” when a person is asked to do something is wrong. To the contrary, I believe helping others when we can is a noble and important aspect of showing and developing caring and love for others and ourselves. It also shows a commitment to the community and the persons we love and care about. The problem is when saying “yes” to too many things can lead to mental and physical health distress to the point a person cannot function effectively in life. I have worked with many persons in my offices and also have known many persons as I have walked the road of life that cannot say “no” to persons and constantly feel overwhelmed and not able to do what they desire and need to do to lead a normal happy life. They are like a golf ball being hit from one place to another with no control over their life. If this is happening to you, the following are some things to do to help you overcome the problem with not being able to say “no”: 1.Accept you have needs that must be met for your own mental and physical well being. 2.Never say “yes” out of guilt. Guilt is destructive and will harm you if you behave based on it. 3.Do not allow burnout to overwhelm you and not allow you to function. 4.Set priorities and boundaries and base your responding “yes” or “no” for requests for help based on them.5.When setting priorities and boundaries,be realistic in what you can do to have balance in your life.6.If you find you cannot say “no” when asked to do things,you might consider seeking out a therapist to help you set up appropriate priorities and boundaries.