Tag: schools and covid

December 12, 2023- There are few things in life more devastating psychologically and leading to ongoing and even long-term trauma than the death of a beloved spouse. Over time,the two persons in many ways become one.When persons marry for life, they are thinking about all the years they hope to spend together sharing loving experiences. They may also have dreams of having children and a wonderful family life. There is an intense feeling of happiness and an eagerness for the future. There are no thoughts of a plan for the death of the loving spouse. When this occurs, it is a totally shattering experience. While caring friends, family members and professionals can be helpful, there is no clear road for the person to navigate emotionally. And for sure, the emotional road will be one with great emotional pain and suffering. Additionally, there can be physical problems resulting from the constant emotional stress on the person’s body. When one does lose a loving spouse, it is critical the surviving spouse not feel a need to immediately address all the concerns that may be coming to the mind. The exception would be financial concerns that must be addressed.The important thing is to recognize that grieving is a very personal experience and there is no one right way to overcome it. Even though there is a need for family and friends to be supportive and helpful, it is a very lonely journey only that person can experience. Important things to do when trying to survive the death of a beloved spouse would include the following: 1. Surround yourself with family and friends to the degree you are comfortable. It is critical there be human support and understanding. 2. Seek out spiritual support to the level of where you are spiritually. If you believe in an eternal life, then you are aware God chose to have your spouse come first and that you will eventually be together again. 3. If you have a more secular view of life, then always remembering the wonderful times you had together will help you go to the next stage of your life without your spouse. 4. Taking care of yourself physically is very important. You can do damage to yourself physically due to your emotional distress if you do not eat appropriately,do not exercise,do not do personal hygiene and generally do not care for yourself. 5. Seek out online groups for grieving the death of a spouse or various community groups or groups with religious affiliation. 6. Seek out a professional therapist experienced in grieving the loss of a spouse to help give direction and support. 7. Do not make rash major life decisions after the death of a spouse. Quitting a job, selling a house, moving to another state, or any other major decision is best done after a period of time of reflection and dealing with the intense grieving that will occur. 8. Do not allow others to determine what is the appropriate amount of time for grieving. That is a personal experience that is totally different for every person. The exception to this statement is when the person grieving the death of a spouse cannot move on and can become a threat to themselves physically and emotionally.

August 22, 2023 – We all have questions about our memory at one time or another. Oftentimes, memory issues can relate to high levels of anxiety, depression, prescription medications,drug and alcohol abuse,high blood pressure,brain injury,and the general stressors of life that make it difficult for us to remember things that are important or not important. However, it is also true that as we age problems with memory can become significant, and it is important that we notice when this occurs and determine what we will do to try to control the memory problems as best we can. Typical questions to ask would include the following: 1.Do you feel you have memory loss? If so, how? 2.Do you feel you have intermittent memory problems? If so, how? 3. Do you feel memory problems are causing you significant problems in your personal, marital, and/or professional life? If so, how? 4. Have you noted ongoing consistent memory loss? 5. Do you get lost walking or driving in neighborhoods you are very familiar? 6. Do you regularly forget common words you have used daily your whole life? 7. Do you sometimes talk “word salads” that you think are understandable but are not by others? 8. Do you ask the same question over and over again in brief spaces of time and have no idea you are doing it? 9. Who has noticed you may have memory problems? If so, what specific examples and concerns are mentioned? 10. Are you under significant stress in your life? 11.Do you have high blood pressure, insomnia, stroke history or other physical conditions that could relate to your memory loss?… If you answer yes to some of these questions, it is important you talk to your family doctor and a psychologist skilled in the assessment of memory problems to determine the extent of the problems and possible medical and mental health help to positively impact on the symptoms as much as possible.

DO NOT LET “ANALYSIS PARALYSIS” STOP NECESSARY DECISION MAKING Subscribe to our YouTube page! 1-18-22 Analysis-Paralysis Is the condition when a person is incapable of making a decision without spending an unreasonable amount of time trying to decide what to do. Anxiety is the natural outcome when one has this exasperating condition of constantly ruminating on even the most basic of decision making. While it is true one needs to give much thought to financial decision-making and a potential career choice, persons with Análisis Paralysis make it hard and sometimes even extremely painful in deciding even as basic as what clothes to wear in the morning or what to eat at a restaurant. A plan to overcome Analysis Paralysis would include the following: 1. Recognize the problem. 2.Seek out the causes. 3. Prioritize choices based on importance. 4.Take a time out when too much time is being focused on a decision.5. Make a choice and live with it. One cannot go back and replay decisions once made. It is a waste of time and can cause high anxiety. 6. Set a timeline on a decision and make it. 7. Recognize there may not be a best decision but ones with competing advantages and disadvantages. 8. In many cases, decisions made today can be changed or altered due to circumstances. 8. Never let perfect hinder one from making good decisions. 9. Seek out a therapist knowledgeable on Analysis Paralysis to help overcome this condition…The Important thing is to be able to make decisions efficiently without having Analysis Paralysis cause great frustration and anxiety for both you and persons you interact with in your life activities.

COMMON MEMORY PROBLEMS THAT ARE NORMAL 1-11-22 There are few things more stressful to persons as they age as problems with their memory. While these are legitimate concerns for many persons, there is too much stress put on persons who have normal memory problems that occur as they get older. Many of them take place with persons that have nothing to do with aging problems but high levels of anxiety, sleep deprivation, depression, inappropriate use of prescription medication, alcohol/substance abuse, and the effects of a diagnosis such as ADHD. The important standard on if memory problems are significant is if they do not allow the person to function effectively in life and take care of themself. Common memory problems that are normal would include the following: 1. Absent-mindedness. 2. Thought/Word blocking.3. Fading memories. 4. Memory retrieval. 5. Forgetfulness. 6.Scrambling facts.

SMALL WAYS TO MAKE YOU HAPPY NOW 01-04-22 Last week we talked about making choices, goals, and resolutions for the year 2022. This week we are going to talk about ways that can make you happy right now. Being able to find things that will make you happy “in the now” is really important because being in a bad mood is not only bad for your mental health that day but can lead to an enduring day to day sadness and unhappiness that can lead to long term negativity and even depression. The following would be examples of ways to make you happy now: 1. Call a friend or family member. 2. Enjoy a happy memory. 3. Get love from your cat or dog. 4. Hug someone you love. 5. Focus on what is good in your life. 6. Listen to music you love. 7. Offer someone a smile. 8. Talk to an upbeat person. 9. Plan future events. 10. Eat something you love. 11. Exercise. 12. Walk around the block. 13. Take a hot bath or shower. 14. Light a scented candle. 15.Search your spiritual/moral values. 16. Deep relaxation/self hypnosis/meditation. 17. Take a break from your cell phone and all electronics. 18. Watch a comedy video. 19. Trust yourself. 20.Love yourself as much as you can love others…When you hear or read over the list I have put here, you will identify with many of them and also think of others you would add. The important thing is for each of us to find ways we can use that will give us joy and pleasure in the moment. Life is ultimately made up of all the moments/minutes we live. Minutes turn into the hours, days, weeks,months, years and decades that make up our lives. The more happiness and satisfaction you can find in each minute will ultimately determine how happy and satisfying of a life you experience.

Dr Braccio- SUCCESSFUL DUAL-CAREER COUPLES 10-19-21

We live in a society where more and more couples are both working and have specific work, couple, family, and work expectations that must be synced together in order for the marriage to be successful. The large number of divorces show that many couples are not able to navigate the difficult terrain to be successful. The following are suggestions that can help the dual-career couple succeed: 1. Determine prior to marriage how they plan to coordinate life activities pertaining to the marriage, child-rearing, financial goals, personal goals, and the breakdown of specific responsibilities each will have in the relationship. This will change over the course of the marriage based on what is occurring in their lives. 2. Supporting and enhancing each other as they together meet chosen goals that are mutually agreed upon. 3. Willingness to forgo personal goals when the needs of the overall relationship require this to be done. 4. Ongoing and sometimes changing roles by one of the persons to be the primary caretaker of the children and/or other responsibilities due to particular educational or career opportunities or responsibilities of the other. 5. Recognition that in spite of the financial and career success that can come from dual-career couples, disappointment and frustration can also occur when one or both are stymied from individual goals when the overall responsibilities of the relationship need to be primary. 6. The ability to make changes as needed that may require job changing or job adaptation. 7. Recognition a desired job advancement or different job would cause more harm than good for the couple and is not entered into. 8. Enduring love in any relationship requires openness, compromise, organization, agreed-upon role expectations, willingness and ability to change, mutual respect, and strong support of each other.

Dr. Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHEN DIVORCE IS THE RIGHT CHOICE June 1, 2021 his is our fifth and for now final last segment on divorce. Much is appropriately written about the negative outcomes of divorce. With that said, the negative effects of dysfunctional marriages can also be such that divorce is the right choice for all involved. The following are reasons when divorce is the right choice. The first three are so horrible that they need to end in divorce. 1. Sexual abuse. 2. Physical abuse. 3. Emotional abuse. 4.Substance abuse. 5.Endless arguing. 6.Infidelity. 7.Severe lack of commitment. 8.Severe lack of common goals for now and the future. 9.Long-term neglect of the marriage. 10. Severe differences in parenting styles. 11.Changing spiritual outlooks. 12. Long-term family conflicts. 13.Chronic monetary conflicts—including gambling.

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss POSSIBLE POSITIVE OUTCOMES FOR CHILDREN OF DIVORCE- 5-25-21
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This is the fourth segment we have done on divorce. Today we discuss possible positive outcomes for children of divorce. They are presented with awareness of the great havoc divorce, regardless of the legitimacy of it, can have on children. They would include the following1.Parents modeling good parenting. 2.Understand marriage can fail and learn from the experiences of their parents. 3.Closer relationships with siblings and other family members. 4.Greater appreciation of close friendships. 5.Potentially more quality time with each parent in a positive atmosphere. 6.Greater empathy and understanding of problems others have when divorce or other major problems occur for them. 7.Learn greater self-sufficiency as each parent may not be able or desire to live separately as they could as a couple. 8. Better communication with each parent as their needs and interests are expressed and understood. 9.Find and develop greater strength of purpose and character out of the emotionally difficult times they can experience from divorce. 10. A greater sense of spirituality and/or moral gravity when trying to find purpose in life.

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM, in the third part in a series on divorce, discuss THE PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN
May 18, 2021
This is the third segment we have done on divorce. I preface my comments with an awareness that divorce is a reasonable outcome when abuse, philandering, constant arguing, and irreconcilable differences between the couple can lead to the point that divorce is preferable and even necessary. With that said, the impact of divorce on children can range from minor to significant problems in adjustment. Children of divorce too often have to deal with one or more of the following: 1.Loss of one or both parents for a significant period of time weekly, monthly, or any time agreement the parents and/or courts decide. 2.Downsizing of home and other financial changes that can range from small to severe financial restraints. 3. Separation from beloved family members from one or both parents. 4.Subtle or outright attempts at parental alienation. 5.Limited interactions and even ending of friendships due to emotional distress. 6.Shame. 7.Anger. 8.Depression. 9. Anxiety 10 PTSD. 11.Poor academic performance. 12.Insecurity. 13.Guilt for break-up of parents. 14.Feelings of loss. 15.Poor relationships with the opposite sex/partners that can exist for a lifetime. 16.Physical problems. 17. Physical acting out behaviors. 18. Emotional acting out conflicts. 19. Necessity to adapt to stepparents and step-siblings. It is important to note blended families are a primary reason for follow-up divorces…When you look at the potential problems for children of divorce, even if not intentional, that can occur from a divorce, it is important parents think very hard about doing everything they can to keep the marriage together.

WHY PEOPLE DIVORCE 5-4-21
This is the first of a series of podcasts to be done on divorce. My point is not to challenge the need for divorce in many cases but rather to discuss the importance of trying to maintain marriages in a mutually loving and meaningful manner…In an age when up to fifty percent of marriages will predictably fail,it is important to know why. It is even worse in second marriages where divorces predictably will be more than sixty percent. Divorce,blended families and single parent households are as common as apple pie. Considering the importance of successful marriages for the mental health of spouses,children and society as a whole,it is surprising how many persons enter marriage not understanding the potential problems that may occur. These potential problems include the following: 1.Youthful /immature marriage. 2.Financial concerns. 3.Physical intimacy. 4.Emotional intimacy. 5.Changing life directions. 6.Infidelity. 7.Extreme competing control issues. 8.Addictions. 9.Falling out of love. 10.Constant fighting. 11. Childbearing and pregnancy before marriage. 12.Divorce of parents. 13 No religious beliefs. 14.Lack of marital preparation or counseling. 15.Divorce of parents. 15.Unrealistic marital expectations. 16.Addictions. 17.Physical abuse. 18.Emotional abuse. 19.Less education.

May 4, 2021
WHY PEOPLE DIVORCE. This is the first of a series of podcasts to be done on divorce. My point is not to challenge the need for divorce in many cases but rather to discuss the importance of trying to maintain marriages in a mutually loving and meaningful manner…In an age when up to fifty percent of marriages will predictably fail,it is important to know why. It is even worse in second marriages where divorces predictably will be more than sixty percent. Divorce,blended families and single parent households are as common as apple pie. Considering the importance of successful marriages for the mental health of spouses,children and society as a whole,it is surprising how many persons enter marriage not understanding the potential problems that may occur. These potential problems include the following: 1.Youthful /immature marriage. 2.Financial concerns. 3.Physical intimacy. 4.Emotional intimacy. 5.Changing life directions. 6.Infidelity. 7.Extreme competing control issues. 8.Addictions. 9.Falling out of love. 10.Constant fighting. 11. Childbearing and pregnancy before marriage. 12.Divorce of parents. 13 No religious beliefs. 14.Lack of marital preparation or counseling. 15.Divorce of parents. 15.Unrealistic marital expectations. 16.Addictions. 17.Physical abuse. 18.Emotional abuse. 19.Less education.