Tag: Love

March 12, 2024- It is amazing how many wonderful people who have the kindest of hearts and the most willingness to help others are often overwhelmed with responsibilities. They have agreed to enter into what makes their lives a completely stressful and overwhelming experience. When one thinks of it, “no” is just a word with two letters. When one considers we use thousands of words in our lives, it is amazing how that word can make life so difficult when one cannot use it. Way too many persons feel they have to say “yes” when asked to do something. This is often learned from an early age when they were children and their parents and other adults told them to always try to be helpful and do what was requested of them. It also can be true that persons feel saying “no” is hurtful and not being a good human being. Still others will not say “no” out of feelings of guilt if they do not do what is asked of them. Still others do it out of a sense of duty that someone has asked them and it would be wrong for them not to do it. Still others cannot say “no” to families out of love and sometimes engrained guilt. My point here is not that saying “yes” when a person is asked to do something is wrong. To the contrary, I believe helping others when we can is a noble and important aspect of showing and developing caring and love for others and ourselves. It also shows a commitment to the community and the persons we love and care about. The problem is when saying “yes” to too many things can lead to mental and physical health distress to the point a person cannot function effectively in life. I have worked with many persons in my offices and also have known many persons as I have walked the road of life that cannot say “no” to persons and constantly feel overwhelmed and not able to do what they desire and need to do to lead a normal happy life. They are like a golf ball being hit from one place to another with no control over their life. If this is happening to you, the following are some things to do to help you overcome the problem with not being able to say “no”: 1.Accept you have needs that must be met for your own mental and physical well being. 2.Never say “yes” out of guilt. Guilt is destructive and will harm you if you behave based on it. 3.Do not allow burnout to overwhelm you and not allow you to function. 4.Set priorities and boundaries and base your responding “yes” or “no” for requests for help based on them.5.When setting priorities and boundaries,be realistic in what you can do to have balance in your life.6.If you find you cannot say “no” when asked to do things,you might consider seeking out a therapist to help you set up appropriate priorities and boundaries.

March 5, 2024- Life can be a challenge for a child who does not have any particular social, personal, or academic concerns. However, for the child who has been diagnosed with ADHD and shows some combination of the characteristics of lack of focus, inattention, procrastination, hyperactivity, and impulsivity, life becomes far more complicated for them and their parents. The parent of the child with ADHD needs to try to do whatever they can to help the child function to their maximum potential. It is important to know that many persons with ADHD can be enormously successful, as well as generally successful in life by simply controlling the extra energy they often possess when compared to the non-ADHD person. They can gain by being able to multitask much easier than the average person because their mind so quickly can go from one thing to another. The key is harnessing and channeling this ability to multitask into completion of activities started. The following are things parents can do to help their child with ADHD characteristics that are negatively impacting their ability to function effectively in life: 1. Make sure the diagnosis is correct. 2. Identify if there are any overlapping conditions, such as anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD, conduct disorder, etc. that need to be treated. 3. Set up clear expectations of what is expected of the child and make sure they are aware of what they are and consequences if not met. 4. Take over the executive function in a way to make sure that things run smoothly because lack of organization, planning, and problems completing activities are core hallmark problems of the person with ADHD. 5. Keep the person active in sports and other activities that keep them motivated to do their best and channel what would be extra energy to other persons into the tasks and activities at hand. 6. Make sure you are not neglecting other children in the family due to the extra attention given to the person with ADHD. 7. Help teach the ADHD child who does not have good social skills how to share and be a good friend with others. 8. Work closely with involved school personnel, medical persons, and counseling persons who are involved with your child to make sure all are working in the same direction in helping your child… Because ADHD tends to run in families, there is a strong possibility you as a parent also have ADHD. If you question this and determine to see if this is true, seeking out an evaluation with a verification of ADHD could be helpful for you to better understand the characteristics of your child and offer support that can also help you. Your overall goal is to make sure you and your child are moving forward to help them overcome the ADHD characteristics that can negatively impact on their personal, social, and academic life.