January 30, 2024- It is maybe not that strange that in a world with so much electronic contact and every imaginable streaming service available to a person, that there are so many lonely adults. A computer can never take the place of a living friend. While obviously there are also many lonely young persons, our focus here is on adults. One reason many adults do not have friends is that they were involved with friends who were the parents of the friends of their children. As the children became older and moved away, the friendships often retreated as everyone moved on to lead their own lives away from each other. The parent who may have been the center of family relationships may no longer have much close contact with family as children leave home and develop their own families and friendships. Additionally, the relatively shy person who does not feel comfortable developing friendships may have never learned how to develop them. Regardless of the reason why friendships do not develop in adults, they are critical for human beings to feel good about themselves from the vantage points of how others see them and they see themselves. The give-and-take of friendships can really warm the psyche of an individual. The great Roman orator and philosopher, Cicero, referred to a friend as “another you”. Someone you can share all your thoughts and feelings without being put down or criticized. The following are suggestions on what someone can do who feels lonely as an adult and desires friendships: 1. Make the choice of reaching out and determining to have a friendship with another human being, 2. Make yourself available as a starting point. 3. Call family and old friends to develop friendships in the now. 4. Join a club, church group, or any other organization and become an active member. That you have a reason to meet and interact with others could lead to friendships. 5. Take risks and share your feelings with a person or persons to develop a certain level of camaraderie and positive feelings about each other. 6. Be a reliable person while developing a friendship so that someone knows they can count on you. 7. Show the person you truly care about them. Talk about things that are important to them and let them know what is important to them is also important to you. If you have not developed or lost the ability to care for another person, work on it, and repeat affirmations you do care about others and you are going to try to understand them and relate to them as a caring human being. 8. Be willing to be vulnerable in a relationship and recognize there is potential for being hurt, but the potential for developing a friendship and being close with another person or persons make the risks worthwhile. This could be very delicate and difficult if a person has had problems with relationships in the past or has not been comfortable entering into friendships. If so,this is an area that needs to be worked on. 9. Seek out a trained therapist as you feel appropriate who knows about developing friendships to help you…. As you attempt to enter into a “New World” to develop friendships that can last the rest of your life, look forward to it.The voyage may be rocky and difficult, but the rewards are remarkable as being lonely is very sad and bad for a person’s physical and mental health.