Tag: Anger

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY PERFECTIONISM OFTEN LEADS TO DEPRESSION

    WHY PERFECTIONISM OFTEN LEADS TO DEPRESSION

    If one thinks about it, it is not surprising that a perfectionist often ends up being depressed. Common symptoms of depression that a perfectionist experiences would include sadness, pessimism,negativity, painful memories of present and past less than perfect behavior,loss of pleasure,feeling guilty for perceived imperfections, poor self-esteem, very critical of self and feelings of worthlessness. Not all perfectionists experience all of these characteristics, but for sure, seeking and even demanding perfection in a very imperfect world can easily lead one to be unhappy with self, and then with most if not all other persons in their lives. Another cause of sadness for a pessimist is loneliness as they often have very poor relations with other persons. It is not bad enough that they expect perfection in themselves, but they also expect perfection in others. Because no one is perfect, and the perfectionist demands it, even slight imperfections can lead to anger and dismissal of persons as friends because they do not meet the perfectionistic standard…Strategies to reduce depression caused by perfectionism would include tolerance,humor,recognizing excellence is not a synonym for perfect,no one is perfect or anything else on earth,mindful positive thinking,replacing negative thoughts with positive ones and loving and accepting you as you are. A trained therapist aware of how to help a depressed person caused by their perfectionism might be considered and be helpful.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss Dr Braccio & Mike Austin HOW TO HELP A LOVED SPOUSE/PARTNER TRYING TO OVERCOME UNREASONABLE ANGER

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    January 24, 2023

    Anger is a normal emotion someone feels when frustrated or feeling some level of mistreatment or misunderstanding. Anger can be helpful when protecting self or others from danger and unfair treatment. When someone has problems controlling their anger and relationships suffer or even end,then a person has unreasonable anger that must be controlled. For clarification,I am not talking about anger that results in physical abuse,or ongoing bullying,demeaning and sarcastic treatment. Loving persons cannot be around such abusive persons. We are talking here about when spouses/partners show unreasonable anger and want you to help them overcome an anger problem they acknowledge and want to overcome. Both need to recognize anger is often a secondary emotion that results from such things as fear, depression, jealousy, low self-esteem, high anxiety, substance abuse, family issues, societal expectations,and employment issues. Once the two of you have figured out the causes of the unreasonable anger, the following things can be done to help your loved one overcome it: 1.Identify the triggers for the anger and replace them with healthy ones. 2.Actively listen to what bothers them to fully understand it. 3.Always try to be as calm as possible. 4.Change the focus of a discussion that is going nowhere. 5.Allow them emotional space as needed when they are working out their anger. 6.Set boundaries for what you will accept and not accept that both of you understand and agree. 7.Make supportive statements. 8.As needed, strongly support them to seek professional help from an experienced therapist in anger management. 9.Support sought for spiritual growth and support. 10.Make sure in the process you look after your own emotional well-being. 11.Do not become co-dependent if the person does not change and you continue over and over again to put up with the anger they choose to not overcome. This is especially true if the anger is directed at you.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO CONTROL ANGER OUTBURSTS OVER TRIVIAL MATTERS

    October 11, 2022- It is an unfortunate fact most persons at one time or another waste a lot of their energy by being angry over trivial matters. Things as simple as a person driving too slowly on the road in front of us,a child leaving a book at school or a spouse forgetting to pick something up on the way home can lead to severe anger outbursts. This is unhealthy for the person having the anger outbursts and for the recipients. Too often anger outbursts occur with persons who lived in homes where parents were constantly bickering and fighting over many small things and they learned these behaviors when modeled by them. As a result,it is not surprising when these behaviors are in effect re-enactments in the present. The power of modeling on future human behavior is so powerful and often not understood by persons on both sides of the anger outbursts. In order to end the emotional turmoil for all involved persons,the following are suggestions on how to overcome anger outbursts over trivial matters: 1.Truly recognize how short life is and do not waste a moment we have to live on foolish and antagonizing anger outbursts over trivial matters. Carpe diem!(Seize the day!) 2.Recognize what is appropriate anger over mistreatment rather than inappropriate anger over trivial matters. 3.Think how important you will think what you are mad about in this moment will be in an hour,a day,a week,a month or a year. 4.Think about how important it is today what your great great great grandparent was upset about one hundred and twenty years ago today. 5.Replace negative anger trigger thoughts with positive and neutral thoughts. 6.Problem solve with those you get angry with to work as a team to eliminate anger outbursts over trivial matters. 7.Do deep in and out breathing and count as you do it. 8.Seek out a therapist who is expert in anger management to help eliminate trivial anger outbursts.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss PERFECTIONISTS ARE NEVER AT PSYCHOLOGICAL PEACE

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    Perfectionists are persons who strive for perfection in all aspects of their lives. Unless you are someone like a heart surgeon or a jet pilot, perfection is not something for individuals to seek in themselves or someone else. Perfectionists are never at psychological peace because they are trying to be perfect in a very imperfect world. If you are a perfectionist, it is clearly time to kick this aspect of your personality out into the trash can where it belongs. It is amazing to me after decades as a practicing psychologist how many persons do not see the negative impact that perfectionism is having on them psychologically and also the negative impact it has in their relations with others. Typical characteristics would include the following: 1.Seeking not excellence but perfection from self in all attempted activities. 2.Constant disappointment by never being able to be perfect. 3.Poor self-image due to not living up to being perfect,regardless of how successful they might be. 4.Problems in relationships with others because of expecting them to meet this perfect standard that not only they cannot meet but no one else can. 5.Excessive amounts of time doing what are routine activities to other persons due to the desire to do them perfectly. Things as simple as cutting the grass, cleaning the house and reviewing a work document can lead to seemingly limitless amounts of time trying to get them right and psychological distress it not feeling they are ever done perfectly. 6.The inability to delegate because others cannot do tasks perfectly. 7.Elevated levels of Anxiety and Depression caused by the impossibly of being perfect. 8.Not enjoying the happy times that persons psychologically need because of the constant emphasis on being perfect in the never ending process of activities they are trying to do perfectly…If some of these characteristics sound like you,now is the time to end this life robbing personality behavior that will not allow psychological peace. Work on it yourself or seek out experienced expert help.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss HOW TOO OFTEN DEBILITATING PHOBIAS SEEM TO HAVE THEIR OWN CONTROLLING PERSONALITIES

    9-7-21 A phobia is an unreasonable fear taking into account the circumstances. Most persons have fears and anxiety. Reasonable levels of anxiety and fear are actually useful in our daily lives. When the fear and anxiety go beyond reasonable levels and hinder the ability to function effectively, we are then looking at a phobia. Phobias when developed in the person seem to take on a life of their own. It is not unusual for psychologists and physicians to work with persons who have panic attacks resulting from phobias that have the same symptoms as a heart attack. Visits to the HOSPITAL ER are not uncommon. Persons that experience the symptoms are absolutely convinced they could be dying. If not as dramatic, other phobias hinder the ability of persons to function due to a fear of heights, spiders, wasps, open spaces, crowded spaces, driving on the expressway,hyper-cleanliness, food danger, sitting in the backseat of a car, being a passenger in a car, not sitting near an exit, not sitting on the aisle in an airplane, fear of flying, etc. in a really never-ending list of possibilities. Because persons are often embarrassed to admit their phobias, they often are prisoners of them and lead a life where they will do anything they can not confront them. The phobia actually becomes an overriding decision-maker in the person’s actions. I have seen and continue to work with persons who have phobias that negatively impact their ability to function. The most effective strategies to overcome phobias include some combination of the following: 1. EXPOSURE THERAPY/DESENSITIZATION where the person gradually introduces self to the phobia in small doses and eventually is able to overcome it. A common strategy would be to eventually be able to ride on an elevator or fly on a plane by gradual exposure to them. 2. COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY is when a person confronts the problem mentally and works to change the thinking patterns as they attempt to overcome the anxiety and fears resulting from the phobia. 3. MEDICATIONS include beta-blockers, antidepressants, and sedatives like Xanax. 4. DEEP BREATHING to help reduce anxiety and reduce symptoms. 5. FLOODING THE PHOBIA Is when you confront the phobia directly over and over again. Example, if you are fearful of riding an elevator you do it over and over again to reduce the anxiety to the point it is as normal a behavior for you as it would be for the average person. 6.SUPPORT GROUPS online or in-person where a person can get group support. A danger is that members may swap symptoms and the person may not be helped. 7. AN EXPERIENCED THERAPIST who is able to address the behavioral aspects of the phobia. 8.A FAMILY PHYSICIAN OR PSYCHIATRIST to address medication that can be helpful…An important thing to be aware of is that phobias are present in large numbers of persons and they can be very debilitating and lead to persons not living peaceful lives. Because most persons do not understand phobias,they can appear ridiculous and incomprehensible. Because of this, persons often keep their phobias to themselves and do not find release from the emotional pain they experience. The implementation of the strategies above can hopefully help persons overcome their phobias.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR- Subscribe to our page :-)

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR 1320 AM WILS 8-31-21

    Simply stated, self-destructive behavior is damaging to the person psychologically, physically, or both. Examples of psychological self-destructive behavior would include debilitating fear, compulsive behaviors like gambling or shopping, extreme sadness, and unhappiness, not being able to relate to other people in a healthy way, eating disorders, PTSD, and phobias. Examples of physical self-destructive behavior would include suicide, substance and alcohol abuse, risky and impulsive sexual behaviors, self-injury, and compulsive behavior resulting in risky physical activities that can lead to death or major injuries. The causes of self-destructive behavior are varied. They would include high anxiety,risk attraction,risk aversion,extreme fear,social isolation,OCD,phobias,PTSD,addiction,low self-esteem, personality disorders, ADHD,emotional abuse,and childhood abuse. One can simply look at the overdose deaths in America and see how such risky behaviors can lead to death for many thousands of persons each year. A more subtle self-destructive behavior is sabotaging yourself in life and not advancing in such areas as work, love, and personal relationships. If you find that you have self-destructive behavior and want to take control over it,the first step is to say you are going to end it and do something to change it. Immediate sources of support would include family, friends, therapists, medical doctors, clergy, and support groups.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of WILS discuss RESENTMENT AND ITS NEGATIVE IMPACT- subscribe to our page!

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of WILS discuss RESENTMENT AND ITS NEGATIVE IMPACT August 3, 2021 Resentment is a psychological reaction when one feels mistreated. One can also have bitterness/resentment at self if one believes opportunities were ignored or thrown away. Resentment does not have one cause. Disappointment and frustration are common feelings we all experience to some degree or another as we live our lives. When the feelings are some combination of bitterness, anger, disappointment, envy, and feeling used, then resentment can set in and can last for a lifetime if not resolved. Triggers for resentment could include being passed over for a job or opportunity, not listened to, taken advantage of, put down, rejected, ridiculed, mocked, ignored, missing or ignoring an opportunity, not allowed to do something in life, envious of others, relationship betrayal or rejection, etc. Resentment is like an emotional corrosive acid that eats away at the very soul of the person. If aimed at a person, it punishes you while the object of the resentment is often leading a happy life unaware of your resentment or could care less. Ways to fight resentment include forgiving and letting go, honestly determining if your resentment is realistic and fair, self-forgiveness/compassion for errors/mistakes,replace negative thoughts with positive ones,recognizing only you can change your own views of resentment,accepting you cannot change the past,accept you cannot often change outlooks or behaviors of others in the past or present,stay away from toxic people,and above all,forgive what you can and let go of what you feel you cannot. The SERENITY PRAYER is a good read when resentment builds up and someone needs to let it go for their own mental and physical health. The following quote from it can be very helpful as a person tries to overcome resentment: GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE;COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN;AND WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.