Parenting Archives - Regional Psychological Services

Jun 7, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with family, dealing with guilt, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, emotional pain, guilt, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss Positive and Negative Guilt

June 6, 2023 Guilt is a very difficult thing for most persons to get right. Therapists will tell you that a good percentage of their clients suffer from some form of guilt. The problem is knowing what is positive guilt versus negative guilt. Positive guilt is when a person is aware they have done something wrong to another person and tries to make amends as best as can be done,and then let’s it go. This can be done by directly talking to the person and indicating they have done wrong and trying to do whatever can best be done to overcome the harm that has been caused and make things right. Problems occur when a person carries guilt even after they have done all they can to correct it. This does not mean the person has not done wrong, but to carry guilt for something that is resolved or cannot be resolved is a waste of time and can drag a person down. This does not mean the person does not have some bad feelings about what has been done, but is aware to carry guilt around will drag them down emotionally and interfere with their own psyche and interactions with other persons. It also can result in someone playing the role of martyr, which is not healthy for anyone involved. The martyr uses guilt to control a person with guilt that never ends. Negative guilt is the type that manifests itself with poor self-esteem, unrealistic expectations of what one can do, and often feeling guilty for things they have no control. An example would be something a mayor has done in a city that somehow the citizen feels they are guilty. To feel bad about something that a mayor has done is reasonable, but it is not reasonable to carry guilt and feel bad for something they have no control. It is a clear waste of time and can lead not only to poor self esteem but also anxiety,shame,social withdrawal,insomnia and depression. Another example would be if a relative or friend does something wrong and somehow the person carries the guilt for the act or behavior when in reality they have no control over what has occurred. A person with reasonable guilt is able to recognize when they do wrong and the recognition of what they have done and the attempt to resolve it will build strength, not only in themselves but in their relationships with others. This is the goal of a person who means well, but is aware that human beings fail and the best of us make mistakes that can hurt other persons. It is also important persons learn from what occurred and not do it again.

Apr 19, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, authoritative, braccio, Depression, iMovie, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 WILS discuss DIAGNOSING ADULT AUTISM Spectrum Disorder(ASD)

4-18-2023 Subscribe to our YouTube page Autism was not added as a diagnosis until 1980 into the DSM-3. I was already functioning as a Full License Psychologist at that time! The definition has evolved into the current DSM-5. Over these years since 1980,diagnosis and treatment have been overwhelmingly related to children. This is changing as more and more persons are being diagnosed by Psychologists and Psychiatrists experienced with Autism Spectrum Disorder(ASD) Diagnosis. In our office we have been consistently getting more such referrals the past few years. In 2020,the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimated that 2.4% of the adult population has ASD. it appears this percentage will continue to increase as our society becomes more knowledgeable on the condition. Many high functioning adults with ASD have not been diagnosed because they have been able to mask their symptoms or have never been challenged in their life -space beyond their limited social skills when compared to the average person. Common characteristics of ASD would include the following: 1.Having difficulty understanding what others are thinking, or feeling. 2.Finding it hard to develop friendships or preferring to be alone 3.Becoming very anxious and awkward in social situations. 4.Appearing rude, blunt, or not interested in what others are saying. 5.Finding it hard to express feelings appropriately in social settings with groups or individuals. 6.Taking words, statements, and idioms literally. 7.Having certain routines that are consistent day after day. 8.Not understanding the rules of social interaction and saying inappropriate things with no awareness they are inappropriate. 9.Obsessive amount of time spent on a specific topic, and only wanting to study all about it and discuss it with others who may have no interest. 10.Doing repetitive actions over and over again such as rocking in a chair, tapping fingers or putting hands consistently through the hair. 11.Speaking in a noticeably monotone or hollow-like tone…A problem with appropriate diagnosis is that other conditions relating to anxiety,depression,OCD and cognitive impairment have a number of the same symptoms. It also is true many persons with ASD can also have an additional diagnosis. We have found this to be particularly true with ADHD,anxiety disorders and OCD.

Apr 13, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, anorexia, Anxiety, binge eating, bullimia, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, eating disorders, empty nest, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss BINGE EATING DISORDER

April 11, 2023 Subscribe to our YouTube page!

Binge Eating Disorder is often a very solitary condition where the person with the condition has depression,anxiety and low self esteem. Even if it only impacts three percent of the population in the United States,it is a real problem if you are one of the nearly 4,000,000 persons with this condition. Common characteristics of Binge Eating Disorder would include the following: 1.Eating alone or in secret. 2.Eating when not hungry. 3.Feeling a loss of control over eating. 4.Eating quickly. 5.History of binge eating associated with it reducing anxiety,depression,loneliness,failure,OCD tendencies. 6.Feeling anxiety,guilt,depression,shame due to the binge eating. 7.Failing on one diet after another. 8.Obesity occurs with many persons. 9.Continuing to eat even when uncomfortably full. 10.Binge eating at least 1 day a week for 3 months…If one feels they have Binge Eating Disorder and they cannot control it,a good person to start with is the family physician. This is particularly true when a parent becomes aware their child has it. Treatment often includes a team including a dietitian,medical doctor and trained therapist with eating disorders.

Apr 5, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM SIGNS A MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP IS OVER OR COMING TO AN END

Subscribe to our YouTube page! 04-04-2023

The headlines generally are about fiery and angry divorces that never seem to end. A prime example of such a couple ending a relationship would be the defamation case between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Spouses often seem more like combatants who can for the rest of their lives literally detest each other. While that sadly is too often true,what we are discussing today are the millions of divorces or relationships that end simply because they slowly have lost the love,energy and excitement that propelled them into fulfilling relationships filled with love and satisfaction. Sometimes the progress of relationship erosion is barely payed attention to until the feelings and desire are gone to save the marriage or relationship. The unfortunate result is a quiet and uneventful ending often filled with disappointment and a difficult rupture for children and loved ones. The following would be signs that the relationship is over, or is coming to an end: 1.Spouses/partners feel a lack of love and caring.2.Lack of sharing communication about their lives. 3.Building major parts of their lives away from the other. 4.Not planning for the future with mutual activities or dreams. 5.Lack of physical and emotional intimacy. 6.Not caring for the needs of the other. 7.New boundaries within the relationship building up. 8.Wanting to always be with others outside of the marriage/relationship or within it. 9.Insensitivity on a regular basis. 10.No desire to save the marriage or relationship.

Mar 11, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts being a father, boundaries, Children, dealing with children, discipline, Parenting, psychology, relationships

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING A GOOD FATHER FIGURE

3-7-2023- SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YOUTUBE PAGE! This is the fourth segment I am doing on fathers/dads.The topics covered were the joys of being a father,why fathers abandon their children and what makes a good father. Today the topic is the obvious importance of having good, caring, and loving father figures for modeling along with financial and emotional support. Mike and I will kick some of these thoughts around. He also is a father/dad very interested in the role of fathers. Children clearly look to their fathers for modeling, security, unconditional love, and availability from birth through their teenage years and often beyond that for the rest of their lives. The data are clear for various generations that daughters with good relationships with their fathers tend to seek and choose responsible men like their fathers and tend to have more successful marriages. They understand appropriate and inappropriate treatment and are more tolerant of the normal problems and concerns that occur in the best of marriages. Boys with involved fathers have the opportunity to spend time with them and learn how to be an effective male model and grow to be successful fathers and spouses themselves. I think it is a safe thing to say we are in a society where way too many children are being raised without fathers, and this is most unfortunate and sometimes very destructive to the children except in cases with abusive and destructive fathers. Leaving those bad fathers aside,we can certainly say there is a need for our society to encourage and support good father figures in the lives of their children, and hopefully a married situation, but if not, at least in the situation where the father and the mother of the child can interact in a civil fashion, and each work directly to best enhance the opportunity of the child succeeding in life with reduced anxiety,depression and feelings of alienation or abandonment. Anyone who has had a good father/dad figure knows how critical he has been in their personal development. They are apt to want to continue this type of behavior with their children. Fathers who have not had good father figure modeling experiences, need to experience them in churches,family members,schools, sporting centers, or wherever good modeling can be made available so they can see what good fathering is and try to pick up those skills and use them themselves. As a society, we need to encourage fathers to be responsible father figures when having children and encourage them to develop lifelong relationships filled with love and caring. The rewards for fathers,couples,children and overall society are incalculable with good father figures.

Mar 2, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts being a father, boundaries, Children, dealing with children, discipline, Parenting, psychology, relationships

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHAT MAKES A GOOD FATHER

02-28-2023- Subscribe to our YouTube page! Today is our third of four segments on fathers. Children of good fathers may debate what is the top quality of a father,but there is little doubt that certain traits come forward. Children who have or had good loving fathers regularly talk about the good times they had in their relationships. Those that have not had good fathers often are quite upset about this and feel abandoned or not respected or cared for. It puts a big hole in their lives and resentment that can last a lifetime. The following would be the typical characteristics that one would expect to have in a good father. Not that all fathers have all of these traits, but some combination of them is what would be necessary: 1.Availability in good and bad times is critical. 2.Protection from persons or situations that could be dangerous or harmful for the child. 3.Showing unconditional love and affection. 4.Good modeling of life and work ethics/behaviors that the father wants for the children. 5.Teaching a strong sense of spirituality and/or moral code to help the child deal with the difficulties and the seemingly senseless problems that occur in the world. 6.Have humor and laughter to enjoy family life. 7.Be respectful of the mother whether married or not.8.Be tolerant of mistakes and admit your own. 9.Teach the child the importance of having a balance in life between family life and work life. 10.Model and teach kindness to others and strong family commitment…When fathers have good relationships with their children as they grow up,they will happily continue for a lifetime of ongoing good memories.

Feb 24, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts being a father, boundaries, Children, dealing with children, discipline, Parenting, psychology, relationships

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY FATHERS ABANDON THEIR CHILDREN

Subscribe to our YouTube page! – This is the second of four segments on fathers and parenting. Abandonment of a child by a father is a tragedy for the child specifically but also for the father and society as a whole. Children need and deserve love and caring from both parents who bring them into the world. Reasons fathers abandon children are many and would include the following: 1.Feeling inadequate as a parent and feeling the child is better off without them. 2.Horrible relationship with the mother. 3.Indifferent or no relationship with the mother. 4.Legally squeezed by distance or very limited time with the child. 5.Narcissism/total selfishness. 6.Substance abuse. 7.Immaturity. 8.No desire or refusal to pay child support. 9.Belief paying child support is sufficient. 10.Blended families problems. 11.Physical and/or emotional abuse. 12.Workaholic with no time for children. 13.Parental alienation. 14.Divorce. 15.Poverty. 16.Spouse or partner strongly resisting father’s involvement with his child.

Dec 16, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, chronic pain, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with family, dealing with guilt, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, emotional pain, guilt, illness, john braccio, pain, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, terminal illness, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss HOW TO SENSITIVELY INTERACT WITH THOSE IN CHRONIC DAILY PAIN OR PAINFUL LIFE THREATENING ILLNESS

12-13-2022

Persons with chronic pain or painful life threatening illness often suffer from depression,insomnia,anxiety,stress,anger,substance/alcohol abuse and even hopelessness and suicide. A further problem is persons with chronic pain or illness often feel isolated because persons often do not know how to interact with them because they cannot relate to their problems even if they understand it would be very difficult if not horrible to always be in chronic pain or a painful life threatening illness. Based on long term experience with persons on both sides of this situation,the following are recommendations meant to help persons interact sensitively and effectively with those in chronic pain or chronically ill: 1.Be open and honest. 2.Listen to how their condition impacts them both physically and emotionally. 3.Be tolerant to a possible uncharacteristic negative and even angry mood. 4.Make sure the meeting is not about you and your feelings or pains. 5.Let them know you care and will be helpful any way possible. 6.Do not compare their situation with someone else. 7.Use active listening to fully understand their feelings. 8,Read up on the effects of chronic pain and illness on someone both psychologically and physically.

Nov 1, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, authoritative, braccio, Depression, iMovie, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss WHY THE AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING MODEL IS THE BEST

November 1, 2022

The primary parenting styles would be authoritative parenting, authoritarian parenting, permissive parenting and uninvolved/neglectful parenting. The obvious problems that are caused by the controlling authoritarian parent are low self-esteem,anger impulse problems,substance abuse,conduct disorder and high levels of anxiety and depression. The problems resulting from permissive parenting are that the child never learns the rules of life,how to deal with reality,can be spoiled,and very difficult to deal with with all persons they encounter. The problems with the uninvolved/neglectful parent are low self esteem,conduct disorder,substance abuse,poor academic performance,and juvenile delinquency. The positive and most promising parental style is the authoritative. In this style,the parent tries to adapt parenting to needs and wants of the child from infancy until they are launched into adulthood. The hallmarks are a loving environment with respect, tolerance, firm recognized limits,good citizenship,good communication,always ready and willing to listen to the ideas and concerns of the child,and a willingness to say no and be consistent in parenting. The children from this parenting style have the best opportunity to have a successful life with positive self-esteem without higher than expected levels of anxiety and depression. The chances are also very good for solid academic performance and good citizenship. An important thing is the child is always involved in the process. They are aware of the consequences if they choose to break rules because they have been part of the process in making them. The parent cannot always be right,but in the long run there is little doubt the child will understand their parents did the best they could. There is nothing simple about raising children. Even the best plans do not work all the time. As a brief recap,the successful authoritative parent includes in their parenting the ingredients of love, caring,being able to say no,understanding,reasonable expectations and always ready to discuss issues and concerns.

Aug 10, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts being a father, boundaries, Children, dealing with children, discipline, Parenting, psychology, relationships

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss GOOD FATHERS ARE A BIG DEAL IN THE LIVES AND THE FUTURE SUCCESS OF THEIR CHILDREN

August 9, 2022

Even though this may seem evident to those who have good or bad/absent fathers,we often do not realize how critical a good father is in the lives of their children. The point is not that children without fathers cannot be successful or have other excellent male role models,the point is simply that research shows the rather surprising results when a father is present: 1.80% less likely to spend time in jail. 2.60% less likely to be suspended or expelled in school. 3.38% more likely to get A’s in school. 4.45% less likely to repeat a grade. 5.75% less likely as a teenager to birth a child…These results show the importance of fathers in the lives of their children. As a society,we need to emphasize this and encourage fathers whether married or not to be responsible,loving and caring for children they have brought into this often difficult and complicated world. Their children did not ask to be born and need and deserve a loving and good role model father. This is true whether the father adheres to a spiritual or secular view of the importance of life he has brought into this world. For further emphasis,society needs to focus on the importance of giving support for caring fathers to lovingly accept their parental responsibilities to help their children be as loved and successful as possible. This is true whether in a nuclear,blended or broken up family relationship. Fathers can seek support by modeling behaviors of good fathers and/or seeking them out as mentors. They also can seek out support groups for fathers and trained therapists. As a final thought,it is critical to realize the good father is not the mythical perfect father who does not exist in this imperfect world.

Apr 29, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, liars, lying, narcisist, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, patience, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio discusses with Dave Akerly WHY THE PATHOLOGICAL LIAR IS SO PSYCHOLOGICALLY DANGEROUS COMPARED TO THE COMPULSIVE LIAR

April 26, 2022

Let me begin by saying lying is a bad policy and will hurt the trust people have in you and what you say. I also will add saying an ugly hat Aunt Mabel is wearing is nice is better than saying it is atrocious and burn it. The compulsive liar is an annoyance and can destroy or greatly impair relationships,but their primary purpose is generally self-enhancement and a long-term psychological problem with telling the truth. Their purpose is not to ruin others. Purposes include to stay out of trouble,enhance self,and even try to please others. On the other hand,the pathological liar is deceitful and devious without a conscience. Their purpose is to hurt others and enhance self at the expense of anyone who gets in their way or they choose to torment for their own pleasure. They do not need a reason to damage someone. They generally have well engrained narcissistic and/or antisocial personality(sociopathy)disorders. They can be quite charming,convincing,and effective. They can play their hideous behaviors often well hidden from others. Because they have no sense of right or wrong,they are often masters of manipulation and intrigue when dealing with persons who are trusting,loving and sincere. The best defense is to stay away or have as minimal contact as possible if you identify them. Because they prey on your goodness,you must beware when you see the destructive behaviors of a pathological liar playing out in their interactions with others. They are at their worst when in positions of power and authority.

Apr 25, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, narcism, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, patience, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHEN THE NEED FOR PERSONAL APPROVAL IS PSYCHOLOGICALLY DESTRUCTIVE

April 19, 2022

All of us enjoy approval when persons note and complement us on things we have done or said. This is natural and good for self-esteem development as others recognize positive things about us. When the need for personal approval is psychologically destructive is when we have low self-esteem and our opinion of ourselves is not determined by us but by the opinions of others. This is particularly destructive when persons who influence us and whose approval we desire do not give it or give it conditionally. Examples of psychologically destructive approval would include the following: 1. Low self-esteem leads to how others perceive us. 2. Changing a point of view due to it being shunned by someone else. 3. Not saying no or disagreeing with someone for the fear of being personally attacked for being stupid or having low-level thinking. 4.Not complaining when receiving inferior goods, services or poor treatment by others. 5. Constantly seeking approval from someone who will never give it completely and always has conditions. 6. Feeling the need to apologize or minimize thoughts or feelings when challenged by someone else or even when praised due to low self-esteem. 7. Unreasonably seeking out compliments or recognition for self-validation when unnecessary and even inappropriate. 8.Excessive desire for social media recognition to the point of obsession…One can begin to overcome this need for psychologically destructive approval by having a realistic view of self and not allowing others to define you. It is important to note some people, including otherwise loving family and friends, will not give full approval so they can keep you coming back again and again to get the approval they will never fully give. It is important to love yourself in the wise proverb: LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF. Too often the person seeking psychologically destructive approval overlooks the LOVE THYSELF as one must to have good and healthy self-esteem approval needs.

Apr 14, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, patience, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss PATIENCE & FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL- Subscribe to our page!

PATIENCE AND FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL April 12, 2022 This quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson teaches us in a few words why we need both patience and fortitude to achieve our dreams in life as well as the everyday tasks we must accomplish to be successful. Aptitude is a great gift but needs patience and fortitude to meet potential. Examples to prove the point would be top athletes and students. Each would tell you both patience and fortitude are needed to persist in the never ending quest for excellence. Even if we do not have the aptitude of Magic Johnson in basketball or Albert Einstein in physics,we can use the same level of patience and fortitude they used to become the best we can be in whatever field we choose as a career.

Apr 11, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dealing with your future, dealing with your past, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss KNOW WHEN CLUTTER IS DRAGGING YOU DOWN PSYCHOLOGICALLY

KNOW WHEN CLUTTER IS DRAGGING YOU DOWN PSYCHOLOGICALLY April 5. 2022 Subscribe to our page! Clutter is actually a more complicated concept than most people think. Clutter is only a problem if it negatively impacts on you psychologically. There are many people who are very comfortable with clutter and as long as it does not lead to filth and possible resulting physical and relationship problems, it is generally not a psychological problem for the person. Clutter also means different things to different people. The same materials can be seen as the equivalent of gold to some persons and to others as junk. Clutter becomes a psychological problem when it leads to the following types of problems that impact on a person’s psychological wellbeing: 1. Elevated anxiety and stress. 2. Symptoms of debilitating depression. 3. Lack of focus. 4. Work and/or life inefficiency. 5. Avoidance of life activities. 6.Chaos in life. 7. Feeling like one is drowning. 8. Feeling overwhelmed. 9. Inconsistent sleep patterns. 10.Misuse of drugs, including alcohol, prescription drugs, and illegal drugs…If you have any of these problems that are impacting you psychologically and be aware you are one of many, then you need to begin slowly but consistently to overcome your problems with clutter. Step one is to admit you have a problem, then a vision of what needs to be done to declutter your life, and finally a plan to begin the process.

Mar 30, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with past, dealing with regret, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, psychologist, Self Help, step siblings, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 Discuss SUCCESSFULLY ADAPTING TO THE THREE DIMENSIONS OF TIME: PRESENT,PAST AND FUTURE OF YOUR LIFE

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March 29, 2022

One may not think about it, but we regularly live a life in the present but spend much of our waking time thinking about the past or future and not enjoying the joys of using the three-time dimensions together. In order for a person to be successful and happy, they must be able to adapt to the present to enjoy it as it is experienced, remember the past for the good times with lessons learned while keeping in mind the future goals one must prepare for. When the three time dimensions are working together for someone,they can enjoy the past with the memories and lessons,enjoy the present and prepare for a happy and successful future. Persons who live in the past do not have a present or future. Persons who just live in the present have not learned from the past and the future can be very disappointing when opportunities that come up cannot be obtained because they were not sufficiently trained or without the right work experiences. Persons who live in the future time dimension cannot appreciate the everyday joys of the present because of their future thinking. They also cannot enjoy the memories of the past. Personal happiness is best achieved when one can balance the three-time dimensions. They use the past as reference points , good memories, and lessons learned. In order for a person to be successful and happy, they must be able to adapt to the present to enjoy it as it is experienced, remember the past for the good times with lessons learned while keeping in mind the future goals one must prepare for. When the three-time dimensions are working together for someone, they can enjoy the past with the memories and lessons, enjoy the present and prepare for a happy and successful future. Persons who live in the past do not have a present and the result is no present or future. Persons who just live in the present have not learned from the past and the future can be disappointing. Persons who live in the future cannot enjoy the present or memories of the past. The best chance for a happy and successful life comes when they can balance the three-time dimensions. Through the use of good decisions learned from the past and present time dimensions, they have a great opportunity to have a fruitful future time dimension and an overall happy and successful life.

Mar 24, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, blended families, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, family therapy, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, psychologist, step siblings, talk radio, wils

HOW TO BE AN EFFECTIVE STEPFATHER WHEN A CHILD HAS TWO CARING BIOLOGICAL PARENTS

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO BE AN EFFECTIVE STEPFATHER WHEN A CHILD HAS TWO CARING BIOLOGICAL PARENTS 3-22-2022 For the purposes of this segment, we are discussing how to be an effective stepfather when a child has two caring parents. Under any circumstances, being a stepfather can be difficult. It is very important the stepfather initially tread softly but always show loving and caring to the same level as he does for his own children. If this is not done, the probabilities are high that not only will the stepfather have a bad relationship with the children but quite easily the marriage will end in divorce. When given the choice of choosing between children and a stepfather, most often the mother will choose the children and in my opinion that is the appropriate choice because children do not ask to come into the world and deserve the opportunity to have unimpeded relationships with their caring biological parents as much as possible. The following are the traits of an effective stepfather when there are two caring biological parents: 1. Meet the children in an open manner without too many questions and be willing to answer any questions asked by the children. 2.Be honest about who you are in an open manner as who you are will come out over time if you are not authentic. 3. Express and show genuine caring for the children as you get to know them and thereafter. 4. Be supportive of the rules and expectations of the mother. If you have concerns with suggestions, make them when the children are not around. 5. Be available to the children emotionally when they have a need and ask for it. 6. Try to have a friendly or at least cordial relationship with the father of the children and make sure he does not see you trying to be a threat to his role. 7. Have the children call you a name they are comfortable with except for dad or father. 8. Share your hobbies with the children to the level they are willing to take part in them with you. Examples would be bowling, golfing, video games, movies, etc. 9. Make sure you do not show partiality to your children over the stepchildren. You must try to show them the same level of love, respect, and caring to make the blended family be loving and successful. 10. Be a support to the mother as she takes on the primary parenting responsibilities with her children. It is important to note that while you are to love and care for the stepchildren to the same level as your own, you also must accept that the mother is the primary parent as far as rules and expectations go to the same degree as this would be with your children. This does not minimize that you are an adult who must be treated with respect to the same level as you do to them. This can be a difficult field to traverse for both of you but it is critical for a blended family to be successful. 11.If necessary, it can be helpful to seek out clergy or a professional therapist familiar with the role of an effective stepfather and successful blended family.

Mar 18, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, Independent children, john braccio, negativity, not accepting compliments, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Rich Herl of 1320 AM-Dave Akerly show- discuss WHY PEOPLE CANNOT ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS

It is actually surprising how many people have problems accepting compliments. This is unfortunate because persons can really get some good feelings about themselves when persons notice things they are doing and compliment them. A problem with the person who has problems accepting compliments is that they actually often become embarrassed and even upset when persons honestly offer them. As counterintuitive as this seems,it may be a problem you have or certainly one you have seen in persons you know or care for. Typical reasons for having problems accepting compliments would be as follows: 1.Low self-esteem. They could never be worthy of a compliment. 2.Social anxiety. They desire not to be noticed in almost any way. Absorbed into the background is the desire. 3.Imposter syndrome. This is when persons believe they will eventually be found out as an imposter. They in effect believe people do not understand how flawed they are or they are just trying to make them feel better,or at worst they are not telling the truth and giving false praise. 4.Fearful of higher expectations they do not desire. 5.Humbleness and humility on steroids. 6.Perfectionism to a level they believe they never deserve a complement…It is hard emotional work for persons to learn to take complements when not comfortable with them. The key is to love yourself better and accept in yourself what others see in you. Good self-esteem grows when we internalize the genuine good others see in our heart and actions.

Mar 12, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, dependent children, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, Independent children, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

YOU NEED BOUNDARIES IN CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIPS WITH ADULT CHILDREN WHO WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 discuss NEEDING BOUNDARIES IN CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIPS W/ ADULT CHILDREN WHO WON’T BE RESPONSIBLE

03-08-2022

One of the most difficult situations for parents is when they have adult children who are not responsible and they are in the role of a codependent parent with the irresponsible child. Each is irresponsible in such relationships and cannot have an adult relationship with each other. For clarification, I am not talking about a situation where a child is in crisis and it is appropriate for the parent to step in and help the child get through the crisis. In this situation, I am talking about the child who is irresponsible and sometimes even demands that the parent save them and take on their own responsibility. The parent must stop being the savior even if it seems like the right thing to do. Situations would include children who can never keep a job and need money constantly, children who are financially irresponsible and always need money, children who are irresponsible parents and demand the parents do the parenting, children who bully and demean their parents to get what they desire, children who charm their parents as a means to effectively get what they desire, etc. The following are the types of boundaries a codependent parent must use in order to allow both the parent and child to be responsible adults and potentially have a mutual loving and caring relationship where each is independent. One. Do not allow your child to define you in a negative way that makes you give in to whatever is desired. Two. Do not allow bullying tactics to be used to shame you into doing irresponsible behaviors. Three. Make sure you will not give a yes or no answer when something is requested of you without having a day to think about it. Four. Recognize there must be a time you say “no” after a constant string of irresponsible behaviors by your adult children. They must swim on their own. Five. Encourage your child to be successful whenever you get the litany of problems the adult child has. Six. Recognize the codependent relationship is destructive emotionally for both of you. Seven. Seek out an experienced therapist to help you in your codependent relationship if you feel it would be helpful.

Mar 3, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, adult children, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, dave akerly, dealing with life situations, dealing with regret, Depression, east lansing, empty nest, john braccio, Parenting, psychologist, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO PSYCHOLOGICALLY OVERCOME REGRET

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YOUTUBE PAGE! Regret is a common strong emotion we all experience when we feel we have failed to meet some moral, spiritual, educational, familial, occupational or some other standard. It could range from severe mistreatment of someone to missing a mass on Sunday. It can cause such things as depression, shame, anxiety, and anger. The important thing is regret causes people so much grief when they have engrained it into their very psyche and cannot get over the negative and too often gnawing feelings of emotional pain it can cause. This happens to some very sensitive persons over such small things as breaking a diet or legitimately standing up for self. The bigger problem area of regret include such things as marital infidelity, lost career opportunities and severe bullying. The following are some things to do to overcome regret: 1. Do not allow previous mistakes to rule your present and future. 2.Put things in perspective. 3. Make amends when possible. 4. Be compassionate with self. 5.Learn from past mistakes to help make better decisions as you try to seize the day-CARPE DIEM! 6.Update educational and life goals for your current life and not be upset from previous mistakes. 7. Do not catastrophize regrets. 8.Seek out a trained therapist if felt necessary.

Feb 26, 2022 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, Anxiety, arguing, being a better person, braccio, cheating, Depression, Divorce, fully licensed psychologist, iMovie, infidelity, keys to marriage, Love, loveless marriage, Marriage, mental health, neurotic behavior, overcoming anxiety, Parenting, psychologist, relationships, Self Help, succesful relationships, successful marriage, worry, worrying

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 discuss HOW TO REDUCE ANGER AND FRUSTRATION IN THE AGE OF COVID

The last two years during the age of Covid have been very difficult emotionally for millions of persons across the globe. The obvious result of restrictions and fears In many has resulted in very high levels of anger and frustration. Even though there has been progressing in the fight against Covid, there still are many legitimate fears resulting in frustration and anger continuing to build in many persons. The following are some techniques to use to overcome this frustration and anger. These basic techniques can also be used regardless of the cause of a person’s anger and frustration: 1. Deep breathing/meditation/self-hypnosis/hypnosis. 2. Exercise/yoga/Pilates. 3. Visualization of positive physical settings and memories. 4. Say positive mantras over and over again. 5. Find humor in even the most difficult circumstances. 6. Take a walk. 7. Identify anger and frustration triggers and replace them with positive ones. 9. Play favorite music. 10. Call a friend. 11. Help someone. 12.Watch a comedy movie. 13. Plan a vacation. 14. Take a one-day trip. 15. Prepare a favorite meal. 16. Go to a favorite restaurant and enjoy the experience. 17. Enhance your spirituality. 18. Seek out a trained therapist if needed.

Tag: Parenting