Tag: narcisism

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss BEWARE OF THE MANIPULATING “LOVE BOMBER”

    April 25, 2024- Someone falling in love with you is an incredibly exciting time for an honest person looking to love and be loved. The problem is there are persons who are highly manipulative and will take on the role of a manipulating “love bomber”. This is a person who will use all the psychological tools they can to manipulate you to or fall in love with them. Their ultimate goal is to take control of your life and totally destroy your self esteem and identity as a person. While even the most perceptive of persons runs the risk of falling under the almost hypnotic spell of the “love bomber”, the most vulnerable are persons naïve to loving relationships or desperately looking to love and be loved with someone in a loving magical relationship. As a result,anyone wanting to be loved and love someone is vulnerable to the “love bomber” and can fall under their sway. Love bombers are a form of sociopath in the sense they have no feelings for the person they are “love bombing”. Their goal is to have the person fall fully in love. Then they will gradually take control of their lives, isolate them from others and very candidly make them and their lives very miserable. The following are some things to look for that are typical of the “love bomber”. If you are experiencing some of them, the best advice is try to end the relationship as soon as possible and move on emotionally to save yourself from potentially a very damaging and destructive relationship. 1. In a beginning relationship ,when the person seems to be remarkably better than common sense tells you, you are probably right. 2. Expensive gifts way beyond the stage of the relationship. 3. Wanting to control all your free time. 4. Cutting you off from having time to see friends and family. 5. Warnings from family and friends you trust that the relationship is not good for you. 6. An attempt to mirror your likes and dislikes to a level of agreement that is unreasonable and clearly manipulative to show your complete compatibility. 7. The pace of the relationship is way too fast. 8. Praise and compliments that are way beyond reasonable . 9. Planning future events when the relationship is not at that stage. 10. Strong resistance with “love bombing” at any attempt to slow down the speed of the relationship.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin discuss CRITICAL FACTORS FOR PARTNER EMOTIONAL COMMUNICATION

    April 16, 2024- One of the major complaints I regularly hear from one spouse or partner about the other over the years in my work as a psychologist is the lack of needed emotional communication and ongoing commitment to continue it. Like a garden,emotional communication must be addressed daily. If problems are not addressed and changed,they can lead to very unhappy relationships and too often can end them. The general belief is that this is more of a problem with men than women. Even if this were true, there are certainly many women who have problems in communication at an emotional level. With that said, it is safe to say each person is unique in regards to their willingness and ability to have effective emotional communication and commitment to it. There are some critical factors that are important in order for a partner or spouse to know the other desires a strong emotional commitment and is willing to work on it. This requires the willingness to share important things about themselves that allow a loving long term relationship or marriage to grow positively against all the pressures that can and predictably will occur over time. Critical factors would include the following: 1.Honest and authentic expression of feelings about yourself. 2.Be willing to be vulnerable emotionally and share how you truly feel about things. 3.Explain previous experiences in life to help explain how you have become the person you are. 4.Turn off electronic and other distractions for hopefully daily times to share feelings. 5. Try to use active listening to make sure you get the full message being sent to you before responding or interrupting. This can be very hard to do if you feel you are not being understood. 6.Recognize there will be rough spots where honest disagreements will occur and emotional communication will not succeed. Accept that and keep trying. 7. Be available emotionally during difficult times. 8. Hugs and kisses are important forms of emotional communication. 9 .Develop stronger spirituality with the possible support of a priest or minister could be helpful. 10. Seek out a therapist if you feel necessary to help give guidance on how to be more effective at emotional communication.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss SURVIVING AN UNEXPECTED PAINFUL RELATIONSHIP BREAKUP

    March 26, 2024- The goal or dream of most persons is to have a loving, long-term relationship with a partner. Even if not in a marriage, the goal is the same because most human beings do not like being alone and tired of many ongoing and generally shallow relationships. The pain can be very difficult emotionally when one believes they are in a relationship that may potentially be lifelong, and it suddenly explodes into an unexpected break up. The person then is in great emotional distress even if they knew the relationship was not going well when it unexpectedly breaks up. Even if this is something that occurs in a short term intense relationship, that does not minimize the pain emotionally the person suffers who experiences it. The following are things to do if this occurs in your life: 1. Recognize that as painful as it is for you emotionally, you will be able to move on and most likely eventually find a successful, long-term relationship. 2. Try to determine what actually destroyed the relationship. When persons are blindsided and a relationship ends, there often were signs that were not noticed and sometimes did not want to be believed. 3. Try to learn from what happened to make sure it does not happen again. This sounds very simple, but requires a lot of personal analysis. 4. Recognize that most relationships that break up,whether long or short term, are the result of problems on both sides. 5. Without developing guilt and great remorse, it is important to see if you had problems with possessiveness, criticalness,, selfishness, envy, or what Shakespeare called the Green-Eyed Monster of jealousy. 6. Seek out friends and family who will be supportive with you during this period of difficulty. Do not overwhelm them with your feelings, but rather seek their support and love in difficult emotional times. 7. Accept there will be a painful emotional period of grieving for what has been lost and you believe could have developed. 8. Recognize the ending of the relationship may be very helpful to you psychologically if the two of you were a bad fit and only future problems would have occurred if you stayed together. 9. If you find it is impossible to sort out what has occurred on your own, seeking out an experienced therapist with short term and long-term failing relationships could be helpful to prepare you psychologically to be more effective in future relationships.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 discuss NARCISSISTS (NPD) AND SOCIOPATHS (ASPD)

    March 19, 2024- Even though we encounter them regularly, narcissists(NPD) and sociopaths(ASPD) continue to fascinate us. The fact they can be very charming and sometimes seeming to greatly care, makes them very difficult to deal with emotionally for a person who trusts easily and gives people the benefit of the doubt. The problem is that narcissists have at their best little empathy and sociopaths have none. The difference is that the narcissist has a grandiose sense of self and constantly needs others to reflect back their superiority and unique skills. Narcissism actually feeds on other persons agreeing and vindicating their feelings of superiority. The sociopath is totally different. The sociopath has no empathy and often uses charm and manipulation to get what they desire from someone. Because of their lack of feelings or empathy, they can easily cause great psychological harm to individuals who care and love them, as well as friends, business associates, coworkers, and employees who depend on them. The problem for the average person is that they often will humor the narcissist, even if they find them overbearing and annoying. The sociopath is much harder to uncover. Their acts of sabotage can skillfully be done with manipulation, lying, “love bombing” and being cleverly irresponsible in a way it is hard to determine what they are up to. If you feel you are having negative interactions that are impacting your own self-worth and happiness by spending time, or even loving a narcissist or sociopath, the following are some suggestions on how to help set yourself free emotionally: 1. Set firm boundaries on the interactions you will have with these persons. 2. As needed, separate yourself from toxic persons in your life regardless of the relationship you currently have with them. 3. Learn to be more perceptive when persons are simply looking for adoration or seem to be doing things that are making you feel less of yourself due to gaslighting behaviors. Even though this may be hard for you to process psychologically, the painful emotional results will be obvious even if it seems you are under their spell. 4. If in a psychologically destructive relationship with a narcissist or sociopath and not sure how to get out of it, seeking a therapist experienced with treating persons involved with narcissists or sociopaths to help you move away from the person and be able to lead a normal and happy psychological life could be helpful.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHY PERFECTIONISM OFTEN LEADS TO DEPRESSION

    WHY PERFECTIONISM OFTEN LEADS TO DEPRESSION

    If one thinks about it, it is not surprising that a perfectionist often ends up being depressed. Common symptoms of depression that a perfectionist experiences would include sadness, pessimism,negativity, painful memories of present and past less than perfect behavior,loss of pleasure,feeling guilty for perceived imperfections, poor self-esteem, very critical of self and feelings of worthlessness. Not all perfectionists experience all of these characteristics, but for sure, seeking and even demanding perfection in a very imperfect world can easily lead one to be unhappy with self, and then with most if not all other persons in their lives. Another cause of sadness for a pessimist is loneliness as they often have very poor relations with other persons. It is not bad enough that they expect perfection in themselves, but they also expect perfection in others. Because no one is perfect, and the perfectionist demands it, even slight imperfections can lead to anger and dismissal of persons as friends because they do not meet the perfectionistic standard…Strategies to reduce depression caused by perfectionism would include tolerance,humor,recognizing excellence is not a synonym for perfect,no one is perfect or anything else on earth,mindful positive thinking,replacing negative thoughts with positive ones and loving and accepting you as you are. A trained therapist aware of how to help a depressed person caused by their perfectionism might be considered and be helpful.

    Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss PERFECTIONISTS ARE NEVER AT PSYCHOLOGICAL PEACE

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    Perfectionists are persons who strive for perfection in all aspects of their lives. Unless you are someone like a heart surgeon or a jet pilot, perfection is not something for individuals to seek in themselves or someone else. Perfectionists are never at psychological peace because they are trying to be perfect in a very imperfect world. If you are a perfectionist, it is clearly time to kick this aspect of your personality out into the trash can where it belongs. It is amazing to me after decades as a practicing psychologist how many persons do not see the negative impact that perfectionism is having on them psychologically and also the negative impact it has in their relations with others. Typical characteristics would include the following: 1.Seeking not excellence but perfection from self in all attempted activities. 2.Constant disappointment by never being able to be perfect. 3.Poor self-image due to not living up to being perfect,regardless of how successful they might be. 4.Problems in relationships with others because of expecting them to meet this perfect standard that not only they cannot meet but no one else can. 5.Excessive amounts of time doing what are routine activities to other persons due to the desire to do them perfectly. Things as simple as cutting the grass, cleaning the house and reviewing a work document can lead to seemingly limitless amounts of time trying to get them right and psychological distress it not feeling they are ever done perfectly. 6.The inability to delegate because others cannot do tasks perfectly. 7.Elevated levels of Anxiety and Depression caused by the impossibly of being perfect. 8.Not enjoying the happy times that persons psychologically need because of the constant emphasis on being perfect in the never ending process of activities they are trying to do perfectly…If some of these characteristics sound like you,now is the time to end this life robbing personality behavior that will not allow psychological peace. Work on it yourself or seek out experienced expert help.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss HOW TOO OFTEN DEBILITATING PHOBIAS SEEM TO HAVE THEIR OWN CONTROLLING PERSONALITIES

    9-7-21 A phobia is an unreasonable fear taking into account the circumstances. Most persons have fears and anxiety. Reasonable levels of anxiety and fear are actually useful in our daily lives. When the fear and anxiety go beyond reasonable levels and hinder the ability to function effectively, we are then looking at a phobia. Phobias when developed in the person seem to take on a life of their own. It is not unusual for psychologists and physicians to work with persons who have panic attacks resulting from phobias that have the same symptoms as a heart attack. Visits to the HOSPITAL ER are not uncommon. Persons that experience the symptoms are absolutely convinced they could be dying. If not as dramatic, other phobias hinder the ability of persons to function due to a fear of heights, spiders, wasps, open spaces, crowded spaces, driving on the expressway,hyper-cleanliness, food danger, sitting in the backseat of a car, being a passenger in a car, not sitting near an exit, not sitting on the aisle in an airplane, fear of flying, etc. in a really never-ending list of possibilities. Because persons are often embarrassed to admit their phobias, they often are prisoners of them and lead a life where they will do anything they can not confront them. The phobia actually becomes an overriding decision-maker in the person’s actions. I have seen and continue to work with persons who have phobias that negatively impact their ability to function. The most effective strategies to overcome phobias include some combination of the following: 1. EXPOSURE THERAPY/DESENSITIZATION where the person gradually introduces self to the phobia in small doses and eventually is able to overcome it. A common strategy would be to eventually be able to ride on an elevator or fly on a plane by gradual exposure to them. 2. COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY is when a person confronts the problem mentally and works to change the thinking patterns as they attempt to overcome the anxiety and fears resulting from the phobia. 3. MEDICATIONS include beta-blockers, antidepressants, and sedatives like Xanax. 4. DEEP BREATHING to help reduce anxiety and reduce symptoms. 5. FLOODING THE PHOBIA Is when you confront the phobia directly over and over again. Example, if you are fearful of riding an elevator you do it over and over again to reduce the anxiety to the point it is as normal a behavior for you as it would be for the average person. 6.SUPPORT GROUPS online or in-person where a person can get group support. A danger is that members may swap symptoms and the person may not be helped. 7. AN EXPERIENCED THERAPIST who is able to address the behavioral aspects of the phobia. 8.A FAMILY PHYSICIAN OR PSYCHIATRIST to address medication that can be helpful…An important thing to be aware of is that phobias are present in large numbers of persons and they can be very debilitating and lead to persons not living peaceful lives. Because most persons do not understand phobias,they can appear ridiculous and incomprehensible. Because of this, persons often keep their phobias to themselves and do not find release from the emotional pain they experience. The implementation of the strategies above can hopefully help persons overcome their phobias.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR- Subscribe to our page :-)

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR 1320 AM WILS 8-31-21

    Simply stated, self-destructive behavior is damaging to the person psychologically, physically, or both. Examples of psychological self-destructive behavior would include debilitating fear, compulsive behaviors like gambling or shopping, extreme sadness, and unhappiness, not being able to relate to other people in a healthy way, eating disorders, PTSD, and phobias. Examples of physical self-destructive behavior would include suicide, substance and alcohol abuse, risky and impulsive sexual behaviors, self-injury, and compulsive behavior resulting in risky physical activities that can lead to death or major injuries. The causes of self-destructive behavior are varied. They would include high anxiety,risk attraction,risk aversion,extreme fear,social isolation,OCD,phobias,PTSD,addiction,low self-esteem, personality disorders, ADHD,emotional abuse,and childhood abuse. One can simply look at the overdose deaths in America and see how such risky behaviors can lead to death for many thousands of persons each year. A more subtle self-destructive behavior is sabotaging yourself in life and not advancing in such areas as work, love, and personal relationships. If you find that you have self-destructive behavior and want to take control over it,the first step is to say you are going to end it and do something to change it. Immediate sources of support would include family, friends, therapists, medical doctors, clergy, and support groups.