May 23, 2023
There are few things more joyful in life than spending time to love on our grandchildren. We want to pamper,hug and spoil then whenever we are with them. However,problems can occur when grandparents interfere with the parenting of their children. Problems can be even worse when interfering with the parenting of the son or daughter-in-law. It is critical grandparents respect how their children raise their children and not interfere. As grandparents made errors in parenting,so will their children. As grandparents learned to parent,even though making many mistakes,they learned along the way as will their children. Giving advice is not recommended unless asked for or there is real danger for the child. I can attest in both my experiences as a long time Psychologist and walking the road of life that many grandparents have little or no contact with their grandchildren because they tried to replace their children as parents or were seen as intrusive and interfering. The following are statements to avoid that can be considered toxic: YOU DID THAT WRONG…I WOULD HAVE HANDLED THAT VERY DIFFERENTLY…LET ME RESOLVE THIS PROBLEM…YOU WILL NEVER BE A GOOD PARENT… I RAISED YOU TO BE A BETTER PARENT THAN YOU ARE.. YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR OWN CHILDREN… YOU ARE NOT TREATING THEM RIGHT…YOU WILL DESERVE THEIR HATRED WHEN THEY GROW UP…I DO NOT MEAN TO INTERFERE,BUT….