death of loved one Archives - Regional Psychological Services

Sep 15, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, retirement, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss WHAT FAILURE TEACHES US- subscribed to our YouTube page!

WHAT FAILURE TEACHES US

9-12-2023- All of us experience failure at one time or another. How we react to it is critically important for future success. We will achieve our goals that can make us feel successful and satisfied psychologically if we do not allow failure to sabotage us. My point is not to say that failure is a wonderful thing we should seek. No, my point is that everyone has failures in life and successful persons have learned from their failures and have made better decisions which leads to the successes they have in life. When someone gives up and becomes sad, disappointed, and even disillusioned by failures, and chooses not to continue the fight, then failure becomes the ruling psychological victor and the person runs the risk of seeing self as a victim with little or no chance for real success and happiness in life. One needs to see failure as a learning experience and begin the ongoing fight for success. The following would include what can be learned from failure: 1.Accept failure is a part of life we all experience. 2. Recognize that continuing to do something is the beginning of success. 3. Failure is part of reality. 4. Do not focus on what might have happened but focus on what can happen by learning from the failure. 5. Accept whatever blame you deserve in the failure and never take on the role of victim. 6. Never give up. As long as you are alive, there is always the opportunity for success and overcoming failure. 7. As devastating as can be a divorce,not getting a promotion,losing out on a love or getting fired, the key is to learn from these experiences and make every effort to not have them happen again. 8. Manage your time more effectively,because many failures are the result of not appropriately prioritizing what needs to be done to be successful and wasting a lot of needed time. 9.See failure as teaching us what we need to learn, as opposed to what we do not know. 10. Reduce the pain of failure by simply seeing it as part of the process to being successful. 11. Do not allow others to define you by your failures. You define yourself by your overcoming failures and being successful…My point here is not to minimize the emotional pain that failure can cause. No,my point is that failure is the first step to success by changing the process that failed and trying a new approach to lead to success. It is a positive mindset in the midst of failure. You may have to accept many failures before you reach the success you desire. Ted Williams became a great baseball hitter by constant study of the opposing pictchers and finely honing his batting skills. The whole process you are using may need to be altered or you may need new goals and projects. To never give up is the critical ingredient for success and overcoming failure.

Sep 7, 2023 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, retirement, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Mike Austin of 1320 AM discuss OVERCOMING REJECTION-

OVERCOMING REJECTION

Rejection is a common experience that everyone experiences in their life to one degree or another. It is often accompanied with anxiety,depression and low self-esteem. It is a painful experience and how we react to it determines how we will overcome it and even use it to our advantage. Rejection can relate to love, family experiences, friendships , career opportunities/promotions, or a myriad of things that one encounters in life. The important thing is not to allow rejection to devastate your self-esteem. Sadly, this happens to many persons and they are never able to fulfill their potential to become that happy and successful human being that is within them. The following are things to do to help you overcome rejection: 1.Accept rejection is a part of life. 2.Accept how you react to rejection will have a strong influence on how happy is your life. 3.Accept what happened even as you do not like it. 4.Visualize a better future and do things to make it become reality. 5. Do not allow rejection to ever define who you are. 6. Grow from your experience and learn from it. 7. Avoid unproductive continuous thinking about your rejection. 8.Surround yourself with positivity. 9. If rejected in love, recognize the other person was not where you are, and be aware that was not the right situation for you. 10.Pamper self with understanding and compassion. 11.Recognize there is a rainbow and clear sunny skies ahead of the stormy life you are experiencing. 12.If bypassed for a job or promotion, recognize you were not prepared for the job or move on to a new position that will appropriately take into account your abilities. 13.Seek out friends who you can discuss your rejection with and who can help you navigate your feelings and give you better perspective. 14.Seek out an experienced therapist who can help guide you through your rejection in your current situation or maybe your overall outlook on rejection to help you function more effectively in life…Implementing some of these suggestions will predictably help you deal more effectively with rejection. With that said, rejection is painful and how we address it psychologically impacts how happy we will be in our lives.

Dec 15, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, cognitive functioning, dave akerly, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, dementia, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, memory loss, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, retirement, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss CAUSES OF MEMORY LOSS AND DEMENTIA – subscribe to our page :-)

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss CAUSES OF MEMORY LOSS AND DEMENTIA 12-14-21 Memory loss and dementia can develop as persons age. This is particularly true at this time when persons live into their 80s in large numbers. Dementia is the seventh leading cause of death worldwide. Few of us do not know persons suffering from memory loss or some stage of dementia. At this particular time, 55 million persons worldwide suffer from dementia with 10 million new cases being added each year. Even though this information may be difficult for us to hear or experience as many lifelong strong persons we love and care for may begin to have progressively worse memory problems and dementia, it is important we all try to keep ourselves as healthy as we can physically, cognitively, emotionally and socially to limit the effects of aging on all of us. The following are common causes for memory loss and dementia: One. Excessive alcohol use. Two. Smoking. Three. Depression. Four. Anxiety and Stress . Five. Nutrition deficiencies. Six. Head injury trauma. Seven. Sleep medication and long term lack of sleep. Eight. Blood vessel disease. Nine. Strokes. Ten. Misuse of prescription or illegal drugs.

Sep 7, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anger, anger management, Anxiety, bipolar, career change, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, narcisism, narcisist, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, raising children, retirement, self esteem, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss HOW TOO OFTEN DEBILITATING PHOBIAS SEEM TO HAVE THEIR OWN CONTROLLING PERSONALITIES

9-7-21 A phobia is an unreasonable fear taking into account the circumstances. Most persons have fears and anxiety. Reasonable levels of anxiety and fear are actually useful in our daily lives. When the fear and anxiety go beyond reasonable levels and hinder the ability to function effectively, we are then looking at a phobia. Phobias when developed in the person seem to take on a life of their own. It is not unusual for psychologists and physicians to work with persons who have panic attacks resulting from phobias that have the same symptoms as a heart attack. Visits to the HOSPITAL ER are not uncommon. Persons that experience the symptoms are absolutely convinced they could be dying. If not as dramatic, other phobias hinder the ability of persons to function due to a fear of heights, spiders, wasps, open spaces, crowded spaces, driving on the expressway,hyper-cleanliness, food danger, sitting in the backseat of a car, being a passenger in a car, not sitting near an exit, not sitting on the aisle in an airplane, fear of flying, etc. in a really never-ending list of possibilities. Because persons are often embarrassed to admit their phobias, they often are prisoners of them and lead a life where they will do anything they can not confront them. The phobia actually becomes an overriding decision-maker in the person’s actions. I have seen and continue to work with persons who have phobias that negatively impact their ability to function. The most effective strategies to overcome phobias include some combination of the following: 1. EXPOSURE THERAPY/DESENSITIZATION where the person gradually introduces self to the phobia in small doses and eventually is able to overcome it. A common strategy would be to eventually be able to ride on an elevator or fly on a plane by gradual exposure to them. 2. COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY is when a person confronts the problem mentally and works to change the thinking patterns as they attempt to overcome the anxiety and fears resulting from the phobia. 3. MEDICATIONS include beta-blockers, antidepressants, and sedatives like Xanax. 4. DEEP BREATHING to help reduce anxiety and reduce symptoms. 5. FLOODING THE PHOBIA Is when you confront the phobia directly over and over again. Example, if you are fearful of riding an elevator you do it over and over again to reduce the anxiety to the point it is as normal a behavior for you as it would be for the average person. 6.SUPPORT GROUPS online or in-person where a person can get group support. A danger is that members may swap symptoms and the person may not be helped. 7. AN EXPERIENCED THERAPIST who is able to address the behavioral aspects of the phobia. 8.A FAMILY PHYSICIAN OR PSYCHIATRIST to address medication that can be helpful…An important thing to be aware of is that phobias are present in large numbers of persons and they can be very debilitating and lead to persons not living peaceful lives. Because most persons do not understand phobias,they can appear ridiculous and incomprehensible. Because of this, persons often keep their phobias to themselves and do not find release from the emotional pain they experience. The implementation of the strategies above can hopefully help persons overcome their phobias.

Aug 31, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anger, anger management, Anxiety, bipolar, career change, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, narcisism, narcisist, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, raising children, retirement, self esteem, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR- Subscribe to our page :-)

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR 1320 AM WILS 8-31-21

Simply stated, self-destructive behavior is damaging to the person psychologically, physically, or both. Examples of psychological self-destructive behavior would include debilitating fear, compulsive behaviors like gambling or shopping, extreme sadness, and unhappiness, not being able to relate to other people in a healthy way, eating disorders, PTSD, and phobias. Examples of physical self-destructive behavior would include suicide, substance and alcohol abuse, risky and impulsive sexual behaviors, self-injury, and compulsive behavior resulting in risky physical activities that can lead to death or major injuries. The causes of self-destructive behavior are varied. They would include high anxiety,risk attraction,risk aversion,extreme fear,social isolation,OCD,phobias,PTSD,addiction,low self-esteem, personality disorders, ADHD,emotional abuse,and childhood abuse. One can simply look at the overdose deaths in America and see how such risky behaviors can lead to death for many thousands of persons each year. A more subtle self-destructive behavior is sabotaging yourself in life and not advancing in such areas as work, love, and personal relationships. If you find that you have self-destructive behavior and want to take control over it,the first step is to say you are going to end it and do something to change it. Immediate sources of support would include family, friends, therapists, medical doctors, clergy, and support groups.

Aug 18, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, career change, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, retirement, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio speaks with Dave Akerly U.S. WORKERS UNDER 40 CONSIDERED CHANGING CAREERS DURING PANDEMIC

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM NEARLY A THIRD OF U.S. WORKERS UNDER 40 CONSIDERED CHANGING CAREERS DURING THE PANDEMIC That headline from the Washington Post giving data from a recent July 6 to July 21 poll by the Washington Post-Schar School of Policy and Government at George Mason University gives us some fascinating information about a surprise outcome of the horrible pandemic. During a period when many persons lost jobs, had to rely on unemployment benefits, and were often working from home occurred,changes occurred in the way many Americans looked at their lives. Previously, persons often were in jobs and assumed that this was what their work life was going to be. They accepted they would drive back-and-forth to an office,factory,work site, retail,restaurant or whatever particular job they were in. This all changed. Persons began to enjoy being able to work from home with often the ability to spend a lot of quality time with children and spouses that before was not possible. This led to many persons deciding they were not going to return to a traditional office setting and were going to seek work so they could continue to work from home if their employer did not allow it. Still others with the ability to work from home chose to move to locations that met the type of lifestyle they desired. I personally know two persons who moved from Michigan to Florida and one to Texas. I also know a person who returned to Michigan to live near family. The pandemic has also led to many persons being able to change careers and continue their education while on unemployment or able to have more time to consider work career enhancement training. This could occur by persons having so much more time at home versus on the road traveling from one place to another often in a hurry or in congested traffic. In the study mentioned above, 17% of persons said they had already moved either temporarily or permanently. That persons under 40 are the persons most likely to make this kind of move makes sense because this is the time that persons are not so far advanced in their careers at work settings that leaving and beginning a new career or a similar job in a new geographical setting would be as difficult to do. What is surprising to find out is that the United States in June had a record of 10.1 million jobs available. This has led to employers offering more work flexibility to retain workers as well as raising pay and offering different benefits. The pandemic has also taught many persons guarantees are often not granted in life. The statement that change is the one thing one can count on is very true. As this poll shows,some positive things have resulted from this deathly pandemic. Millions of people are reassessing important aspects of their lives including career choice, location to live it,meaning in life,and potential new careers and relationships with family and friends. These are positive things coming from the horrible impact we continue to experience from the pandemic in our daily lives.

Aug 10, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, retirement, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of WILS discuss REDUCE THE STRESS OF DECISION MAKING-subscribe to our page!

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS REDUCE THE STRESS OF DECISION MAKING 8-10-21 Decision making in the simplest of lives to those of the highest levels of government or industry can be painful and produce great stress. Countless books, speeches and articles that pertain to effective decision-making continue to occur all the time. The following are some basic suggestions to reduce the stress and pain of decision-making: 1. Clearly identify the problem to be solved. 2.Effectively recognize the difference between important and routine/unimportant/less important decisions. This alone can greatly reduce stress in a person’s life. 3.Search for alternatives to solve it. 4.Determine if the decision is reversible or irreversible. This is a very import factor in decision making. 5.Consult with others as needed. 6.Play the devil’s advocate on possible decisions. 7.When time is not critical and it is hard to make an important decision, take some time to think about it. There are times the old proverb,LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP,is useful. 8.When time is critical and a decision must be made, make it and never second guess a decision that cannot be redone. In such a case the old proverb,STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT,is useful to guide in such situations…The intent here is not to go into depth on such a complicated matter as decision making. The important thing is that many if not most persons waste a lot of time not making decisions and then worrying about them when they do make them. Hopefully, the basic suggestions above will be helpful.

Aug 7, 2021 braccioj Blog 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anger, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, resentment, retirement, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of WILS discuss RESENTMENT AND ITS NEGATIVE IMPACT- subscribe to our page!

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of WILS discuss RESENTMENT AND ITS NEGATIVE IMPACT August 3, 2021 Resentment is a psychological reaction when one feels mistreated. One can also have bitterness/resentment at self if one believes opportunities were ignored or thrown away. Resentment does not have one cause. Disappointment and frustration are common feelings we all experience to some degree or another as we live our lives. When the feelings are some combination of bitterness, anger, disappointment, envy, and feeling used, then resentment can set in and can last for a lifetime if not resolved. Triggers for resentment could include being passed over for a job or opportunity, not listened to, taken advantage of, put down, rejected, ridiculed, mocked, ignored, missing or ignoring an opportunity, not allowed to do something in life, envious of others, relationship betrayal or rejection, etc. Resentment is like an emotional corrosive acid that eats away at the very soul of the person. If aimed at a person, it punishes you while the object of the resentment is often leading a happy life unaware of your resentment or could care less. Ways to fight resentment include forgiving and letting go, honestly determining if your resentment is realistic and fair, self-forgiveness/compassion for errors/mistakes,replace negative thoughts with positive ones,recognizing only you can change your own views of resentment,accepting you cannot change the past,accept you cannot often change outlooks or behaviors of others in the past or present,stay away from toxic people,and above all,forgive what you can and let go of what you feel you cannot. The SERENITY PRAYER is a good read when resentment builds up and someone needs to let it go for their own mental and physical health. The following quote from it can be very helpful as a person tries to overcome resentment: GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE;COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN;AND WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

Jul 31, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, retirement, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss IS YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP FOR LIFE?

July 27, 2021 From someone who was involved for some years with the Pre-Cana Marriage Preparation program in the Diocese of Lansing, and currently continues to work with persons prior to and after their marriage, it is surprising how many persons do not effectively analyze the relationship they are in and are planning to spend a lifetime without answering questions like the following. 1. Will each of you help make the other person a better human being? 2.Do either of you have secret plans to try to make major changes in the other person? 3. Are you able to share decision-making and power in a fair manner? 4.Are each of you the best friend of the other? 5.Do each of you think in terms of “us” or in terms of “I”? 6.Are each of you comfortable sharing passwords for social media and financial accounts? 7.Do each of you have a realistic understanding of the positive and negative traits of the other? 8. Do you see potential problem areas relating to financial decisions, philandering, team player attitudes, parenting, etc.? 9.Do each of you share common values pertaining to religion, politics, child rearing and general views of living together as a monogamous couple? 10.Are each of you able to disagree in a civil manner and work together to resolve problems as well as agreeing to mutual areas of disagreement? 11. Are each of you willing to sacrifice for the other one taking into account the needs and desires of each other? 12. Are you both sexually compatible? 13. Do close friends and family members believe the two of you will make a good lifelong relationship?… These are questions that I believe are important for any couple thinking of entering a marriage together for a lifetime to be able to answer. I remember many years ago when I was going over to St. Thomas Aquinas Church in East Lansing, Michigan to do part of the Pre-Cana Marriage Training when a person I was talking to suggested I have each partner look at the other and ask the following questions: “Would you want that person to help raise your children?”Would you want a child who would become like that person?” This is actually good advice. I simply give this example to let you know that any person you talk to can give you some ideas on what is important in a marriage; however, the important thing is to take into account your interactions together as well as opinions from those that know both of you with love and caring. When in doubt and not sure what to do, it is important to consider meeting with a respected clergy or therapist experienced in marital work to give some needed perspective.

Jul 26, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, retirement, talk radio, wils

HOW TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN ANXIETY AND ADHD

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN ANXIETY AND ADHD July 20, 2021 Anxiety and ADHD have in common such characteristics as worry,inattention, restlessness and irritability. The key difference in ADHD characteristics is that they primarily relate to concerns stemming from focus and inattention while anxiety stems from fear and nervousness. Anxiety is far more common with 19.1% having it as opposed to 4.4% with ADHD. With that said, ADHD has a comorbidity of 50% with anxiety. The following are necessary to come up with a correct diagnosis to obtain the appropriate treatment both psychologically and medically for each condition. 1.The DSM-V requires onset of ADHD to begin prior to 12 years of age while anxiety can occur at any age. 2.Triggers for anxiety relate to the “what ifs” that could occur in almost any situation. ADHD is generally triggered about deadlines and performance related activities. 3.Testing is important for both anxiety and ADHD. This includes observations and clinical history for both. ADHD testing tends to be more extensive and includes measures for processing speed, working memory and errors that commonly occur when persons have characteristics of ADHD. These measures can also be helpful with anxiety. 4.Appropriate treatment both psychologically and medically for each condition requires valid diagnosis. This can include when a person has both conditions.

Jul 19, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dave ramsey, dealing with death, dealing with finances in marriage, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, finances, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, retirement, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO CONTROL POOR FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT/OVERSPENDING

Dr. Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO CONTROL POOR FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT/OVERSPENDING- Subscribe to our YouTube page! July 13, 2021 A problem for many Americans is how to control their poor financial management/overspending. The following are some steps that a person can take to resolve this problem: 1.Plan a budget and stick to it. 2.Do not let failure stop you from going back on track. 3.Cut up the credit cards. 4.Make money hard to get to spend. 5.Stay away from spending temptations. 6.Grocery shop when not hungry and with a specific grocery list. 7.Make your own meals and stay away from restaurants. 8.Set specific financial goals. 9.Visualize the emotional pain you will have when you overspend. 10. Visualize the future financial “you” and make it happen. 11. Put money into an IRA and/or work matching retirement program. 12. Shop wisely. 13. In a few words, sit yourself down and critically analyze why you make poor financial decisions/overspend and decide to end the problem and become financially responsible…The previous steps can help to that end. If deemed appropriate, you can seek out an experienced financial planner and/or therapist experienced with persons who have problems with financial management/overspending.

Jul 6, 2021 braccioj Blog, Podcasts 1320 am, add, ADHD, Anxiety, cognitive behavior, Cognitive behavioral therapy, dave akerly, dealing with death, dealing with life situations, dealing with loss, dealing with regret, death of loved one, Depression, east lansing, focus, inattention, john braccio, neuropsychology, procrastination, psychologist, ptsd, talk radio, wils

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW A LOVED ONE CAN TALK TO A LOVED ONE WHO HURTS YOUR FEELINGS

HOW A LOVED ONE CAN TALK TO A LOVED ONE WHO HURTS YOUR FEELINGS. July 6, 2021

Hey It is very difficult for anyone to deal with a hurt that is caused by someone who is loved and cared for. The first reactions could be lashing out in anger or going into a shell and not wanting to talk at all. Neither of these reactions is effective. The important thing to do is be able to have communication that allows each person the opportunity to best solve the problem together. The person who is hurt is best advised to in a caring way bring up the concern at a personal level and not attack the other person for what was said or done. The next strategy is to give a solution to the problem that can be discussed. This allows the person who hopefully inadvertently did the hurting to have an opportunity to help in the problem-solving so it does not happen again. Typical examples would be forgetting a birthday or important date, making plans and not considering desires or feelings of the loved person, saying words or statements that are sarcastic or mean spirited, not being available in times of need, not caring for the feelings of the person, not being tuned into the person when there is a strong emotional need for discussion and problem-solving,and on and on in an almost never ending set of possibilities. The important thing to remember is that the silent treatment and anger may work in some situations and even for a period of time; however, these strategies do not work over time and tend to hurt and even destroy relationships. The important thing is to be able to resolve problems in a way that each can have respect and feel good about whatever resolution is determined. Problem-solving of this nature is often very difficult because there is often a lack of agreement on the gravity of the problem and thus the importance of the need for the resolution. The key factor is when people love each other,they must be open to problem-solving discussion when concerns arise. If problem-solving is not able to be done by the persons involved, it can be helpful to bring in clergy,a trusted friend or family member. An additional option would be to find a therapist who is familiar and experienced with problem-solving among loving persons.

Tag: death of loved one