Tag: focus

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss HOW TOO OFTEN DEBILITATING PHOBIAS SEEM TO HAVE THEIR OWN CONTROLLING PERSONALITIES

    9-7-21 A phobia is an unreasonable fear taking into account the circumstances. Most persons have fears and anxiety. Reasonable levels of anxiety and fear are actually useful in our daily lives. When the fear and anxiety go beyond reasonable levels and hinder the ability to function effectively, we are then looking at a phobia. Phobias when developed in the person seem to take on a life of their own. It is not unusual for psychologists and physicians to work with persons who have panic attacks resulting from phobias that have the same symptoms as a heart attack. Visits to the HOSPITAL ER are not uncommon. Persons that experience the symptoms are absolutely convinced they could be dying. If not as dramatic, other phobias hinder the ability of persons to function due to a fear of heights, spiders, wasps, open spaces, crowded spaces, driving on the expressway,hyper-cleanliness, food danger, sitting in the backseat of a car, being a passenger in a car, not sitting near an exit, not sitting on the aisle in an airplane, fear of flying, etc. in a really never-ending list of possibilities. Because persons are often embarrassed to admit their phobias, they often are prisoners of them and lead a life where they will do anything they can not confront them. The phobia actually becomes an overriding decision-maker in the person’s actions. I have seen and continue to work with persons who have phobias that negatively impact their ability to function. The most effective strategies to overcome phobias include some combination of the following: 1. EXPOSURE THERAPY/DESENSITIZATION where the person gradually introduces self to the phobia in small doses and eventually is able to overcome it. A common strategy would be to eventually be able to ride on an elevator or fly on a plane by gradual exposure to them. 2. COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY is when a person confronts the problem mentally and works to change the thinking patterns as they attempt to overcome the anxiety and fears resulting from the phobia. 3. MEDICATIONS include beta-blockers, antidepressants, and sedatives like Xanax. 4. DEEP BREATHING to help reduce anxiety and reduce symptoms. 5. FLOODING THE PHOBIA Is when you confront the phobia directly over and over again. Example, if you are fearful of riding an elevator you do it over and over again to reduce the anxiety to the point it is as normal a behavior for you as it would be for the average person. 6.SUPPORT GROUPS online or in-person where a person can get group support. A danger is that members may swap symptoms and the person may not be helped. 7. AN EXPERIENCED THERAPIST who is able to address the behavioral aspects of the phobia. 8.A FAMILY PHYSICIAN OR PSYCHIATRIST to address medication that can be helpful…An important thing to be aware of is that phobias are present in large numbers of persons and they can be very debilitating and lead to persons not living peaceful lives. Because most persons do not understand phobias,they can appear ridiculous and incomprehensible. Because of this, persons often keep their phobias to themselves and do not find release from the emotional pain they experience. The implementation of the strategies above can hopefully help persons overcome their phobias.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR- Subscribe to our page :-)

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR 1320 AM WILS 8-31-21

    Simply stated, self-destructive behavior is damaging to the person psychologically, physically, or both. Examples of psychological self-destructive behavior would include debilitating fear, compulsive behaviors like gambling or shopping, extreme sadness, and unhappiness, not being able to relate to other people in a healthy way, eating disorders, PTSD, and phobias. Examples of physical self-destructive behavior would include suicide, substance and alcohol abuse, risky and impulsive sexual behaviors, self-injury, and compulsive behavior resulting in risky physical activities that can lead to death or major injuries. The causes of self-destructive behavior are varied. They would include high anxiety,risk attraction,risk aversion,extreme fear,social isolation,OCD,phobias,PTSD,addiction,low self-esteem, personality disorders, ADHD,emotional abuse,and childhood abuse. One can simply look at the overdose deaths in America and see how such risky behaviors can lead to death for many thousands of persons each year. A more subtle self-destructive behavior is sabotaging yourself in life and not advancing in such areas as work, love, and personal relationships. If you find that you have self-destructive behavior and want to take control over it,the first step is to say you are going to end it and do something to change it. Immediate sources of support would include family, friends, therapists, medical doctors, clergy, and support groups.

    Dr Braccio speaks with Dave Akerly U.S. WORKERS UNDER 40 CONSIDERED CHANGING CAREERS DURING PANDEMIC

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM NEARLY A THIRD OF U.S. WORKERS UNDER 40 CONSIDERED CHANGING CAREERS DURING THE PANDEMIC That headline from the Washington Post giving data from a recent July 6 to July 21 poll by the Washington Post-Schar School of Policy and Government at George Mason University gives us some fascinating information about a surprise outcome of the horrible pandemic. During a period when many persons lost jobs, had to rely on unemployment benefits, and were often working from home occurred,changes occurred in the way many Americans looked at their lives. Previously, persons often were in jobs and assumed that this was what their work life was going to be. They accepted they would drive back-and-forth to an office,factory,work site, retail,restaurant or whatever particular job they were in. This all changed. Persons began to enjoy being able to work from home with often the ability to spend a lot of quality time with children and spouses that before was not possible. This led to many persons deciding they were not going to return to a traditional office setting and were going to seek work so they could continue to work from home if their employer did not allow it. Still others with the ability to work from home chose to move to locations that met the type of lifestyle they desired. I personally know two persons who moved from Michigan to Florida and one to Texas. I also know a person who returned to Michigan to live near family. The pandemic has also led to many persons being able to change careers and continue their education while on unemployment or able to have more time to consider work career enhancement training. This could occur by persons having so much more time at home versus on the road traveling from one place to another often in a hurry or in congested traffic. In the study mentioned above, 17% of persons said they had already moved either temporarily or permanently. That persons under 40 are the persons most likely to make this kind of move makes sense because this is the time that persons are not so far advanced in their careers at work settings that leaving and beginning a new career or a similar job in a new geographical setting would be as difficult to do. What is surprising to find out is that the United States in June had a record of 10.1 million jobs available. This has led to employers offering more work flexibility to retain workers as well as raising pay and offering different benefits. The pandemic has also taught many persons guarantees are often not granted in life. The statement that change is the one thing one can count on is very true. As this poll shows,some positive things have resulted from this deathly pandemic. Millions of people are reassessing important aspects of their lives including career choice, location to live it,meaning in life,and potential new careers and relationships with family and friends. These are positive things coming from the horrible impact we continue to experience from the pandemic in our daily lives.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of WILS discuss REDUCE THE STRESS OF DECISION MAKING-subscribe to our page!

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS REDUCE THE STRESS OF DECISION MAKING 8-10-21 Decision making in the simplest of lives to those of the highest levels of government or industry can be painful and produce great stress. Countless books, speeches and articles that pertain to effective decision-making continue to occur all the time. The following are some basic suggestions to reduce the stress and pain of decision-making: 1. Clearly identify the problem to be solved. 2.Effectively recognize the difference between important and routine/unimportant/less important decisions. This alone can greatly reduce stress in a person’s life. 3.Search for alternatives to solve it. 4.Determine if the decision is reversible or irreversible. This is a very import factor in decision making. 5.Consult with others as needed. 6.Play the devil’s advocate on possible decisions. 7.When time is not critical and it is hard to make an important decision, take some time to think about it. There are times the old proverb,LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP,is useful. 8.When time is critical and a decision must be made, make it and never second guess a decision that cannot be redone. In such a case the old proverb,STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT,is useful to guide in such situations…The intent here is not to go into depth on such a complicated matter as decision making. The important thing is that many if not most persons waste a lot of time not making decisions and then worrying about them when they do make them. Hopefully, the basic suggestions above will be helpful.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of WILS discuss RESENTMENT AND ITS NEGATIVE IMPACT- subscribe to our page!

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of WILS discuss RESENTMENT AND ITS NEGATIVE IMPACT August 3, 2021 Resentment is a psychological reaction when one feels mistreated. One can also have bitterness/resentment at self if one believes opportunities were ignored or thrown away. Resentment does not have one cause. Disappointment and frustration are common feelings we all experience to some degree or another as we live our lives. When the feelings are some combination of bitterness, anger, disappointment, envy, and feeling used, then resentment can set in and can last for a lifetime if not resolved. Triggers for resentment could include being passed over for a job or opportunity, not listened to, taken advantage of, put down, rejected, ridiculed, mocked, ignored, missing or ignoring an opportunity, not allowed to do something in life, envious of others, relationship betrayal or rejection, etc. Resentment is like an emotional corrosive acid that eats away at the very soul of the person. If aimed at a person, it punishes you while the object of the resentment is often leading a happy life unaware of your resentment or could care less. Ways to fight resentment include forgiving and letting go, honestly determining if your resentment is realistic and fair, self-forgiveness/compassion for errors/mistakes,replace negative thoughts with positive ones,recognizing only you can change your own views of resentment,accepting you cannot change the past,accept you cannot often change outlooks or behaviors of others in the past or present,stay away from toxic people,and above all,forgive what you can and let go of what you feel you cannot. The SERENITY PRAYER is a good read when resentment builds up and someone needs to let it go for their own mental and physical health. The following quote from it can be very helpful as a person tries to overcome resentment: GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE;COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN;AND WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss IS YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP FOR LIFE?

    July 27, 2021 From someone who was involved for some years with the Pre-Cana Marriage Preparation program in the Diocese of Lansing, and currently continues to work with persons prior to and after their marriage, it is surprising how many persons do not effectively analyze the relationship they are in and are planning to spend a lifetime without answering questions like the following. 1. Will each of you help make the other person a better human being? 2.Do either of you have secret plans to try to make major changes in the other person? 3. Are you able to share decision-making and power in a fair manner? 4.Are each of you the best friend of the other? 5.Do each of you think in terms of “us” or in terms of “I”? 6.Are each of you comfortable sharing passwords for social media and financial accounts? 7.Do each of you have a realistic understanding of the positive and negative traits of the other? 8. Do you see potential problem areas relating to financial decisions, philandering, team player attitudes, parenting, etc.? 9.Do each of you share common values pertaining to religion, politics, child rearing and general views of living together as a monogamous couple? 10.Are each of you able to disagree in a civil manner and work together to resolve problems as well as agreeing to mutual areas of disagreement? 11. Are each of you willing to sacrifice for the other one taking into account the needs and desires of each other? 12. Are you both sexually compatible? 13. Do close friends and family members believe the two of you will make a good lifelong relationship?… These are questions that I believe are important for any couple thinking of entering a marriage together for a lifetime to be able to answer. I remember many years ago when I was going over to St. Thomas Aquinas Church in East Lansing, Michigan to do part of the Pre-Cana Marriage Training when a person I was talking to suggested I have each partner look at the other and ask the following questions: “Would you want that person to help raise your children?”Would you want a child who would become like that person?” This is actually good advice. I simply give this example to let you know that any person you talk to can give you some ideas on what is important in a marriage; however, the important thing is to take into account your interactions together as well as opinions from those that know both of you with love and caring. When in doubt and not sure what to do, it is important to consider meeting with a respected clergy or therapist experienced in marital work to give some needed perspective.

    HOW TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN ANXIETY AND ADHD

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN ANXIETY AND ADHD July 20, 2021 Anxiety and ADHD have in common such characteristics as worry,inattention, restlessness and irritability. The key difference in ADHD characteristics is that they primarily relate to concerns stemming from focus and inattention while anxiety stems from fear and nervousness. Anxiety is far more common with 19.1% having it as opposed to 4.4% with ADHD. With that said, ADHD has a comorbidity of 50% with anxiety. The following are necessary to come up with a correct diagnosis to obtain the appropriate treatment both psychologically and medically for each condition. 1.The DSM-V requires onset of ADHD to begin prior to 12 years of age while anxiety can occur at any age. 2.Triggers for anxiety relate to the “what ifs” that could occur in almost any situation. ADHD is generally triggered about deadlines and performance related activities. 3.Testing is important for both anxiety and ADHD. This includes observations and clinical history for both. ADHD testing tends to be more extensive and includes measures for processing speed, working memory and errors that commonly occur when persons have characteristics of ADHD. These measures can also be helpful with anxiety. 4.Appropriate treatment both psychologically and medically for each condition requires valid diagnosis. This can include when a person has both conditions.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO CONTROL POOR FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT/OVERSPENDING

    Dr. Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW TO CONTROL POOR FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT/OVERSPENDING- Subscribe to our YouTube page! July 13, 2021 A problem for many Americans is how to control their poor financial management/overspending. The following are some steps that a person can take to resolve this problem: 1.Plan a budget and stick to it. 2.Do not let failure stop you from going back on track. 3.Cut up the credit cards. 4.Make money hard to get to spend. 5.Stay away from spending temptations. 6.Grocery shop when not hungry and with a specific grocery list. 7.Make your own meals and stay away from restaurants. 8.Set specific financial goals. 9.Visualize the emotional pain you will have when you overspend. 10. Visualize the future financial “you” and make it happen. 11. Put money into an IRA and/or work matching retirement program. 12. Shop wisely. 13. In a few words, sit yourself down and critically analyze why you make poor financial decisions/overspend and decide to end the problem and become financially responsible…The previous steps can help to that end. If deemed appropriate, you can seek out an experienced financial planner and/or therapist experienced with persons who have problems with financial management/overspending.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss HOW A LOVED ONE CAN TALK TO A LOVED ONE WHO HURTS YOUR FEELINGS

    HOW A LOVED ONE CAN TALK TO A LOVED ONE WHO HURTS YOUR FEELINGS. July 6, 2021

    Hey It is very difficult for anyone to deal with a hurt that is caused by someone who is loved and cared for. The first reactions could be lashing out in anger or going into a shell and not wanting to talk at all. Neither of these reactions is effective. The important thing to do is be able to have communication that allows each person the opportunity to best solve the problem together. The person who is hurt is best advised to in a caring way bring up the concern at a personal level  and not attack the other person for what was said or done. The next strategy is to give a solution to the problem that can be discussed. This allows the person who hopefully inadvertently did the hurting to have an opportunity to help in the problem-solving so it does not happen again. Typical examples would be forgetting a birthday or important date, making plans and not considering desires or feelings of the loved person, saying words or statements that are sarcastic or mean spirited, not being available in times of need, not caring for the feelings of the person, not being tuned into the person when there is a strong emotional need for discussion and problem-solving,and on and on in an almost never ending set of possibilities. The important thing to remember is that the silent treatment and anger may work in some situations and even for a period of time; however, these strategies do not work over time and tend to hurt and even destroy relationships. The important thing is to be able to resolve problems in a way that each can have respect and feel good about whatever resolution is determined. Problem-solving of this nature is often very difficult because there is often a lack of agreement on the gravity of the problem and thus the importance of the need for the resolution. The key factor is when people love each other,they must be open to problem-solving discussion when concerns arise.  If problem-solving is not able to be done by the persons involved, it can be helpful to bring in clergy,a trusted friend or family member. An additional option would be to find a therapist who is familiar and experienced with problem-solving among loving persons.

    TALKING TO A LOVED ONE WHO IS TERMINALLY ILL

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss TALKING TO A LOVED ONE WHO IS TERMINALLY ILL

    Friends and family often do not know what to say when a beloved friend or family member is terminally ill and they know death is near. They want to be sensitive and caring, yet confusion can be powerful with no clear sense of what to say or do. They do not want to upset the person and cause them unnecessary emotional harm. Simply stated, being genuine, sensitive and caring are key characteristics that are needed to be helpful to the loved one who is dying. The following are some specific suggestions on how to be the most loving and helpful: 1.Focus on the person and not the illness. 2.Treat the person as normal as possible. Good discussion can come when death is not the topic unless the person wants to talk about it.  3.Allow the person to discuss what is felt comfortable. Old memories and even current events may be the preferred topics. 4. As health makes possible, keep the loved person involved in social events and social discussions. 5.Offer support and help with true sincerity. Often asking for help may be very difficult for a proud and independent person who now is in need of help. 6.If the person does not desire to see you in person due to the illness, communicate by phone, email, etc. as the person prefers. 7.Decide what you would like to tell the person and bring it up in the conversation when appropriate and possible. 8. Realistically accept the reality of the person’s death if the person has and does not want sympathy. Empathy and understanding are needed.  You can still be as positive as the reality allows. 9.Silence may be desired. 10.Sensitive touching may be desired. 11. Read to the person if desired. 12 Celebrate the life of the person and your memories together…There is no way that it can be easy to say goodbye to a loved person or relative. The overriding important thing is to make the person as comfortable as possible and make the last memories you have together be meaningful to the loved person as well as the memories you will carry for the rest of your life.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss ADHD AND PROCRASTINATION WITH HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS TO OVERCOME THEM

    ADHD AND PROCRASTINATION WITH HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS TO OVERCOME THEM- SUBSCRIBE to our page! 6-22-21 As inattention, focus and hyperactivity are hallmarks of ADHD, they also can directly relate to procrastination. In fact, ADHD and procrastination are often comorbid conditions in the same person. The following are some ways to help someone diagnosed with ADHD or with the symptoms to overcome procrastination that can result in a lack of progress in one’s career and personal life. 1.Set a timeline for completing a project. 2.Identify the specific components that make it up with timelines for each one. 3.Set up specific times you will work on the project with a break after you complete it in the time allocated. For example, work 20 minutes and take a five-minute break. 4.Do not multitask and run the risk of not completing any project. 5.Realistically determine how much time it will take to complete a project. 6. Reward yourself when you complete a project consistent with your time allocation. 7.Focus on each specific component that needs to be done and do not get bogged down worrying about the total project. If you fail in completing a particular component of a project or the project itself, do not feel defeated and quit trying. No, it is time to work hard to complete the component that is not completed and go onto the next one. 8.Do cognitive restructuring by replacing a negative thought with a positive one when working on a project that needs to be completed. Instead of saying to yourself that you cannot do something, tell yourself you can do it and believe it. 9.Seek professional counseling from a therapist who can help with overcoming the problem areas of ADHD and resulting procrastination if they result in your not being able to complete projects that need to be done for work, personal satisfaction, or both.