Tag: resilience

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly Discuss THE MACHIAVELLIAN MANIPULATOR IS VERY HARD TO IDENTIFY

    June 28, 2022

    Unlike the narcissist, common bully and sociopath who are relatively quickly found out to be who they are,the situation is very different with the Machiavellian Manipulator who skillfully pretends to fairly live within agreed upon social rules and norms. They often very cleverly work within the system to achieve maximum success for themselves regardless of the negative consequences for others. Because they deceitfully but effectively use all the correct words and techniques to advance,they are particularly hard to identify and often by the time they are identified their evil deeds have succeeded at your expense. Even after it happens,others may not be aware of what has happened and will continue to be part of their evil designs. The best way to determine if you are interacting with a Machiavellian Manipulator is to observe,listen to comments of others,discretely talk to others and observe outcomes from interactions they have with others. If you ever encountered one, you certainly are aware of how difficult they are to identify because they are seemingly working and interacting with others with the same agreed upon norms everybody is working under. A concise definition of manipulation is using inappropriate psychological techniques with other persons to control their thoughts and actions. It can happen in any setting. It is most common in close relationships such as family,spouses,friendships and work settings. Typical manipulation techniques would include using the following: Guilt. Blame. Complaints. Playing innocent or ignorant. Gaslighting. Lying. Bullying. Mind games. Insecurities/Weak spots,Mockery. Judging. When these techniques are skillfully camouflaged by the Machiavellian Manipulator,victims can be amazed and shocked when they learn what has or is negatively happening to them. If one is in such a relationship with a Machiavellian Manipulator,it is important to seek out supportive friends, colleagues and professional support to minimize the damage done to you socially,psychologically,personally and/or professionally.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss BE A HAPPY INTROVERT

    June 14, 2022

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    It is pretty well known that in Western Society the extrovert(EXTERNALLY DIRECTED)is praised and often seen as the ideal. This can needlessly lead to the introvert(INTERNALLY DIRECTED)developing low self-esteem and seeing self as less than the extrovert. Because extroverts and introverts clearly seem to be wired differently, it becomes important for each person to accept who they are and nurture their particular characteristics. The following are typical characteristics introverts have which need to be cherished,nurtured and enjoyed as opposed to being seen as negative: 1.Need for less social interaction. 2.Greater interpersonal intimacy. 3.Enjoyment of being alone. 4.Strong emphasis on self-development. 5.Enjoyment of solitary activities. 6.Desire for meaningful conversation. 7.Greater social distance for internal peace. 8.Purposeful life with a sense of simplicity. 9.Strong sense of independence…The fact many introverts are quite satisfied with themselves is something to keep in mind if you are an introvert or someone you love and care for is and has low self-esteem because of it.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss THE REALITY OF PROLONGED GRIEF DISORDER

    June 19, 2022

    The killing of 19 children and two teachers in Uvalde,Texas and other senseless killings along with the million deaths resulting from COVID clearly has Americans tuned in to the grieving that individuals have who have lost children, friends, family members and even acquaintances. There has also been a public grieving where millions of Americans have joined with family and friends in the grieving process. Our grieving will end over time. That does not always happen for family and close friends of persons who for whatever the reason have lost loved ones. To be killed by a psychopath predictably would lead to the most intense grieving possible. Yet the length of time a person grieves totally depends on the person. It has often been said wrongly that grieving that lasts more than a year is a psychological problem. That is absurd and even very insensitive to the grieving person. Personally,I can state my parents never fully got over the death of my 2 year old brother in 1943 from childhood meningitis. Fortunately, DSM V has just recently added the diagnosis of Prolonged Grief Disorder. There are many persons who can need years and even a lifetime to overcome grieving for a loved one. Symptoms would include such characteristics as the following: 1.Disbelief it could have happened. 2.Intense longing for the person. 3.Identity confusion where the person feels not whole without the deceased person. 4.Avoiding reminders of the deceased. 5.Emotional numbness. 6.Intense loneliness. 7.Feeling life is meaningless. 8.No desire to meaningfully interact with people or with life. 9.Intense despair…The intensity of these feelings do not subside but can stay in force for years. The person with Prolonged Grief Disorder needs sensitivity and patience from friends and family. Additionally,clergy and trained therapists with grieving expertise can be helpful as deemed appropriate by the person.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss GRUDGES ARE BAD FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss GRUDGES ARE BAD FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH March 2, 2021 A grudge is maintaining anger, resentment, hurt, sadness, and/or bitterness if someone is believed to have wronged you. This can range from something as small as a perceived negative look to a major betrayal. Most persons, even if they do not admit it or feel their grudge is legitimate and not a grudge, have them at one time or another in their lives. In fact, many persons live most of their lives with them. When they become time-consuming in your thinking and cause you to have a lot of pathological anger, there is clearly a need to examine yourself and find a way to eliminate them. Anger is often a major component of a grudge. Anger is far more destructive to the person with it than the person that is the object of it. Holding a grudge is like hitting yourself with a hammer to show your anger at someone. Obviously, the person being injured is the person with the hammer and not the object of it. Forgiving and letting go of a grudge is not forgetting or overlooking a wrong that has occurred, and maybe the person has not apologized for it, it is rather a way to get on with your life. You cannot let grudges overwhelm you and allow them to negatively impact on you and your relationships. It frees you to live a life without anger and bitterness from grudges which are replaced with peace and an open heart to interact with others. You choose not to ruin the present which of course can lead to ongoing damage in the future.

    THE EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL PAIN OF SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 discuss THE EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL PAIN OF SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER 2-23-21

    Anxiety is a common human trait that can actually be helpful in our lives as we encounter the normal stresses of life. When meeting new people, giving presentations or interacting with others causes us to become anxious to the point we cannot function in our own lives, this is when we have Social Anxiety Disorder . With this condition, we are filled with fear, embarrassment, anxiety produced physical symptoms and self-consciousness so we become fearful of being negatively judged by others. An estimated 7.1% of persons in the United States have had Social Anxiety Disorder the past year. For adults, females have a frequency of 8% and men 6.1%. For anyone who has had it or suffered from it, the emotional and even physical pain that result can be debilitating. About one in eight persons have had Social Anxiety Disorder at one time or another. It is the third most common mental disorder in the United States. More than 75% of persons who suffer from it first experience the symptoms when children or early childhood. The following are the key elements that professional treatment entails: 1.Educational awareness of the social anxiety sources and symptoms. 2.Counseling, particularly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. 3.Medication as deemed  appropriate. Particularly effective have been the SSRIs. These would include Zoloft, Celexa, Prozac, Lexapro and Paxil.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly Discuss on 1320 AM to TREAT EVERYDAY AS VALENTINE’S DAY AND SIGNIFICANTLY IMPROVE THE EMOTIONAL AND SEXUAL COMPONENTS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

     2-16-2021- Valentine’s Day is a special time of the year when couples share their love for each other with loving cards, comments and gifts of such things as chocolates and flowers. Solid relationships clearly are stronger when each member of the couple is aware there is gratitude, love, caring and a general awareness of the importance of the relationship. When this occurs,then the natural outcome is enhanced emotional and sexual compatibility that  only gains strength as the couple develops deeper and more meaningful love over the years. Celebrating such events as anniversaries, birthdays,special days in your relationship and any other potential time to celebrate together the importance of your love for each other and the relationship will only enhance it. Too often people live in what becomes a boring routine relationship and true gratitude and love can become dimmed and the result is a loss of emotional and sexual satisfaction  which can lead to withering and even an ending of the relationship. It is important to not allow this to happen and that each person in a relationship never forget why they are together.  They are building a life together that can include children, a home, fun and work activities together. While these are all important aspects of a successful relationship, the showing of gratitude and acts of love will ensure loving times together on an ongoing basis. These are essential to have a positive emotional and sexual long-term relationship. That is why I am suggesting each day be treated as Valentine’s Day. You will see the results will be a greatly enhanced relationship based on strong and mutual emotional and sexual compatibility and desire.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHY DAYDREAMING CAN BE PSYCHOLOGICALLY HELPFUL IN OUR DAY-TO-DAY LIVING

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHY DAYDREAMING CAN BE PSYCHOLOGICALLY HELPFUL IN OUR DAY-TO-DAY LIVING2-2-2021

    WHY DAYDREAMING CAN BE PSYCHOLOGICALLY HELPFUL IN OUR DAY-TO-DAY LIVING. In a world that is often boring and sometimes even painful much of the time for many persons, the ability to daydream about various things can be very psychologically helpful in day-to-day living. This could be particularly true during this time of COVID. This excludes daydreaming that leads to confusion with reality that can lead a person to not be able to live a normal life by confusing daydreaming with reality or using it to not live in reality. The following positive examples where daydreaming or even fantasizing can be helpful psychologically would include the following:  1.Help us relax/keep calm when life has us on overload. 2.Help us better achieve our goals by daydreaming(visualizing) our accomplishing them with the positive feelings that would result. 3.Creating role models we can try to become.  4.Daydreaming about what might happen if changes in current life trajectory are made. This can lead to major life changes. 5.Identifying with fictional or real life persons can help a person feel a closeness that can be helpful in a life with few meaningful human relationships. 6.When mired in the process of completing school work or work related training for advancement to a desired work/educational outcome,daydreaming about finally obtaining the desired goal can help inspire us  to keep working to accomplish the goal.

    Dr. Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS HOW TO HAVE A CIVILIZED CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE YOU HAVE STRONG DISAGREEMENTS.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly 1-26-2020

    HOW TO HAVE A CIVILIZED CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE YOU HAVE STRONG DISAGREEMENTS. The suggestions made here are based on situations where there is not a risk of physical or emotional abuse. Skill Sets that  allow you to have a civilized discussion with someone you have strong disagreements are hard to find and develop in this world of the “cancel culture” where you eliminate someone you disagree with and never try to find common ground. I suggest the following strategies to use to have a civilized conversation. I must add  personal disagreements go back as far as Cain and Abel. 1.Always respect the other person. 2.Accept your fears and concerns openly and honestly in your conversation. 3.Always respect the views of the other person as you present yours. 4.Be open about where you got your information if arguing a point on research. 5.Never use words like idiot, stupid, ignorant, imbecile, etc. in your discussions. This will quickly ruin the discussion and maybe the relationship. 6.Sincerely show your understanding of the other person’s position even if you disagree. 7.Never use sarcasm or pointed jokes that are meant to humiliate. That will quickly end the conversation. 8.Never be a know-it-all. Conversations and relationships can end quickly with a know-it-all. 9.Always voice appreciation to the person you strongly disagree with for the respect they have shown you in your conversation. That will lay the foundation for future civilized conversations. 10.Use of “active listening” where you encourage the person to get all their feelings out on a matter  with no judgment on your part. The goal is to fully understand the position of the person even if you totally disagree. This is a hard skill to develop. 11.Never forget you can control what you say and how you say it. That is not the case for others.

    Dr Braccio Discusses on 1320 AM WILS: WHY PERSONS WHO WANT A RELATIONSHIP WILL NOT TAKE A CHANCE ON LOVE

    January 19, 2021

    Dr JohnBraccio discusses with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS:

    WHY PERSONS WHO WANT A RELATIONSHIP WILL NOT TAKE A CHANCE ON LOVE

    There are so many lonely and unhappy persons who will not take a chance on love. The following are reasons they will not:  1. Finding flaws in potential partners. 2.Letting “perfect” ruin good and very good potential relationships. 3.Fruitless comparison with  ex-partners or spouses. 4. Letting the fear of rejection supersede the possibility for a loving relationship. 5. Setting rigid requirements that eliminate many promising potential partners…My advice is to be reasonable and give love a chance. In most cases, the rewards of a long term loving relationship are worth the risks.

    Dr Braccio Discusses on 1320 AM: WORKERS ARE MORE SATISFIED,HAPPY &PRODUCTIVE WHEN EMPLOYERS MAKE THE FOLLOWING AVAILABLE

    Dr Braccio discusses with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS: WORKERS ARE MORE SATISFIED, HAPPY, AND PRODUCTIVE WHEN EMPLOYERS MAKE THE FOLLOWING AVAILABLE. 1-12-2021 Many of these do not cost anything and can bring great rewards and success to the company. Even at a time of great confusion and disruption in the workplace due to the Pandemic, the following being made to employees as much as possible are always critical to worker satisfaction, happiness, and productivity in the workplace. 1.Flexibility. 2.Feedback. 3.Constant honest communication from top to bottom. 4.Seek and utilize requested feedback and suggestions from employees. 5.Provide professional development and education. 6. Reward positive results. 7. Be as appreciative of employee effort. 8.Recognize career achievements. 9.Good benefits package. 10.Staff interactions to promote comradeship and team cohesiveness. 11.As possible, conferences and events to show appreciation and team spirit

    BEGIN 2021 DOING INTENTIONAL SEEMINGLY SMALL ACTS TO IMPROVE A GOOD MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS- January 5, 2021

    BEGIN 2021 DOING INTENTIONAL SEEMINGLY SMALL ACTS TO IMPROVE A GOOD MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP. Too often when dealing with relationships, we focus on problems to be overcome. The purpose here is not to focus on the big things but on the small things that can cement a good relationship. They would include the following: 1.Give ongoing positive and honest compliments. 2.Strengthen positive aspects of the relationship. 3.Listen and try to better understand concerns. 4.Regularly share positive feelings you have been in the relationship. 5.Reinforce and support goals and dreams of your partner. 6. Regularly do unexpected small things that show caring. 7.Jointly problem-solve even on small matters. 8.Appreciate and notice the small things that make up the bulk of the time of a relationship.

    Dr. Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS discuss: 2020 IS FINALLY COMING TO AN END WE LOOK TO 2021 WITH HOPE FOR A RETURN FOR NORMALITY

    12-29-2020 Dr Braccio speaks with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS: 2020 IS FINALLY COMING TO AN END AS WE LOOK AT 2021 WITH HOPE FOR A RETURN TO SOME FORM OF NORMALITY. 2020 has been an extremely difficult test of endurance as the Pandemic Terror grips the United States and the rest of the world. Levels of Anxiety,Depression,Substance Abuse,Exhaustion,Disillusionment and Feelings of Isolation have continued to grow as 2020 has worn on and on and on. Finally,2020 is ending. The Vaccines give hope for 2021 as does the ultimate herd immunity that will occur sometime in the future. At a positive level, human beings always fight for survival and even if battered will overcome this Pandemic. That some have grown spiritually is also positive as humans try to find purpose in life during crises. Even if we enter 2021 as the “beginning of the beginning” in the colossal battle against the Pandemic, there must be a beginning before we can have an ending. We are fortunately at that stage.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS- CHRISTMAS IS THE GREAT CHRISTIAN HOLIDAY WHERE GOD SENT HIS ONLY SON-JESUS CHRIST-TO DIE FOR US TO MAKE UP FOR ALL OF OUR SINS AND ALLOW US TO END UP TOGETHER IN ETERNITY.

    CHRISTMAS IS THE GREAT CHRISTIAN HOLIDAY WHERE GOD SENT HIS ONLY SON-JESUS CHRIST-TO DIE FOR US TO MAKE UP FOR ALL OF OUR SINS AND ALLOW US TO END UP TOGETHER IN ETERNITY. It is a day of joy for Christians and those respectful of Christian beliefs and traditions. One can listen to the joyous and exuberant combination of Mario Lanza’s rendition of JOY TO THE WORLD and Andy William’s IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR to wonderfully and with great passion feel both the religious emphasis of Lanza and the secular emphasis of Williams. The contrast combined together includes both reverence for Jesus Christ and the symbols of Christmas that would include such things as Christmas Trees/ornaments, nativity scenes, Santa Claus, holly, wonderful meals, candy canes, and Christmas Cards. In this difficult pandemic, we are experiencing, many persons will have limited access to other persons. In such times, Christmas can be a time for personal reflection, spiritual/moral improvement, reliving memories of past Christmases, immersing self in beautiful Christmas/spiritual music and readings. For those feeling isolated, it is a time to make contact with internet and phone tools that allow positive and even loving contact that unfortunately does not include personal contact. For those of us who will be with loved ones on Christmas, let us feel blessed and make an effort to reach out to those who are alone. Christians reaching out to others alone at Christmas would be a gift of love well representative of the Christmas spirit at its zenith.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss THE PFIZER VACCINE IS THE BEGINNING OF THE BEGINNING

    12-15-2020 Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss THE PFIZER VACCINE IS THE BEGINNING OF THE BEGINNING In the horrible war of attrition, every American has been waging against the Pandemic. Even if there are many who may choose not to use the vaccine and others must wait for months to get it, this is a special time Americans can be proud of our scientists, political leaders, and corporations working together to come up with vaccines in remarkable time to stem the lethal tide of the Pandemic. For emphasis, that they have come so far so quickly is amazing That the Pfizer vaccine was manufactured in Michigan, will be distributed to all 50 states and some just flew out of Capitol Region International Airport is something very special and wonderful for those of us in Michigan. It also is very positive for all citizens of the world whose lives may be saved. As I said, it is the beginning of the beginning in the horrible war of attrition every American has been waging against the Pandemic.

    Dr John & Dave Akerly discussion on DISCONTINUING THERAPY IF NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR THERAPIST OR THE DIRECTION OF THE THERAPY

    Dr John & Dave Akerly discussion on DISCONTINUING THERAPY IF NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR THERAPIST OR THE DIRECTION OF THE THERAPY 12-08-2020 Over the decades of doing therapy I have been amazed how many persons continue in therapy even when they are not comfortable with the therapist,are not satisfied with the direction of the therapy or feel there is no progress. In such situations,it may be time to end therapy completely,alter the direction of the therapy or seek a new therapist who better meets your needs. Therapy is very personal and always remember therapists are human beings who have their own life history. When you have such feelings,have an honest talk with your therapist about your feelings. Do not assume you are the problem and resistant to therapy. You may not be the right combination in a relationship that requires a strong mutual connection of respect,acceptable interventions and desired outcomes. It also may be the case the therapeutic relationship has gone as far as it can go and needs to end. Whatever the reason,it is time to have an honest discussion with your therapist and discuss your future and what you will decide to do. It is your life.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss KEYS TO SUCCESSFUL COMMUNICATION IN FAMILIES. 12-01-2020

    One of the sad things in life is how poorly so many families get along. During this holiday period, even during this pandemic, fractures in family communication are becoming apparent as some combination of parents, children, grandchildren, and in-laws have grievances that hurt or even destroy communication. The following are keys to successful communication in families: 1.ELIMINATE SECRETS THAT LEAD TO POTENTIAL CONFLICT. 2.BE ACCEPTING OF DIFFERENT VIEWS, INCLUDING SPIRITUAL AND POLITICAL. 3.DO NOT PLAY FAVORITES. 4.SUPPORT AND RESPECT ALL MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY. 5.CHAMPION AND CONFIRM EACH OTHER. 6. DO NOT PRAISE GRANDSTANDING, POWER SEEKING, FINANCIAL AND/OR PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS AND COMPETITION. 7.PROTECTING EACH OTHER. 8.HONORING, HONING AND CREATING NEW FAMILY TRADITIONS THAT UNIFY AND ENHANCE FAMILY COMMUNICATION.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly 1320 AM discuss- A SALUTE TO THANKSGIVINGS DAY

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly 1320 AM discuss- A SALUTE TO THANKSGIVINGS DAY 11-24-2020 Thanksgiving is the one day a year we all need to kick out all negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. In psychology,that is called COGNITIVE RESTRUCTURING. It is my favorite day because the vast majority of persons have positive non-judgmental feelings about it. That is unique in this age of rage and the ongoing pressures of the Pandemic. This is the time to think about positive things in the present as well as from the past. We can focus on good family memories,positive work experiences,enjoyable readings,enjoyable music,sporting victories,friendship magical moments,and events of spiritual and/or moral growth. The list can go on and on. The main thing is to give thanksgiving for what you have now and have had in the past in the form of memories. Those are things we can give super positive focus on this 2020 Thanksgiving Day! Go for them and get them! Happy Thanksgiving!

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly WHY GRATEFULNESS PRIOR TO THANKSGIVING IS IMPORTANT DURING THE PANDEMIC WITH EXPANDING RESTRICTIONS

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS 11-17-2020 WHY GRATEFULNESS PRIOR TO THANKSGIVING IS IMPORTANT DURING THE PANDEMIC WITH EXPANDING RESTRICTIONS As Michigan and other states have even been adding more restrictions prior to Thanksgiving,people already weary must adapt to new restrictions which will result in millions of persons not being with many loved ones and friends during this Thanksgiving period. Even worse,many persons will be alone from now until after Thanksgiving. This year,Thanksving,generally a time of happiness for the vast majority,will be a difficult time emotionally for most. With that said,even in this very difficult period,it is good for our own mental health to show gratefulness for what we have and help others having a hard time. The following are ways we can show gratefulness even in these difficult pandemic times: 1.Call persons from your past or even more recently who helped advance you in life and thank them. 2.Call persons to cheer them up when you know or believe they are not doing well. 3.For many,be grateful for the time to further develop your spirituality and individual relationship with your God. 4.With or without a sense of spirituality,this is a time to be grateful to evaluate and more strongly develop your moral code. 5.Be grateful for the time to contact friends and other persons for long interactions which you probably would not have had without the extra time.

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss OCD AND THE PANDEMIC 11-10-2020

    Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss OCD AND THE PANDEMIC 11-10-2020 The pandemic impacts all of us to one degree or another. Persons with OCD(OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER) can suffer very severe psychological dysfunction due to it. The characteristics of this psychological disorder are far above average unreasonable thoughts and fears(OBSESSIONS) that result in compulsive behaviors to help reduce the anxiety The condition can be severe in times of relative normality. Common types of OCD INCLUDE CONTAMINATION,HOARDING,INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS,CONSTANT CHECKING,INCESSANT HAND WASHING AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT WOULD SEEM ABSURD TO ANYONE ELSE. The anxiety can only be relieved by the compulsive behavior. Prognosis is not good and the person needs to always be on guard so as not to return to the compulsion and to add others. The following are some remedies to use during the pandemic: 1.KEEP IN CONTACT WITH PERSONS. 2.DO NOT SOCIAL ISOLATE. 3.PRACTICE SOCIAL DISTANCE 4.WASH HANDS REASONABLY,DO NOT TOUCH THE FACE AND WEAR MASKS. 5.DO NOT OBSESS OVER THINGS THE PERSON CANNOT CONTROL. 6.STAY IN CONTACT WITH THERAPIST OR SEEK ONE OUT IF NECESSARY. 7.TAKE CARE OF BASIC PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL NEEDS. 8.EXERCISE DAILY. 9.ELIMINATE NEWS,PEOPLE AND CIRCUMSTANCES THAT CAUSE ANXIETY. 10.MAINTAIN A CONSISTENT AND REASONABLE ROUTINE.

    STRATEGIES TO OVERCOME THE TOXIC EFFECTS OF AN ABUSIVE AND TOXIC PARENT

    here are few things worse than being a child of a punitive,hypercritical, unloving, domineering, self-absorbed, threatening, and even physically abusive parent.  Outcomes to the human psyche are very painful and are often present the rest of the person’s life. Unfortunately,outcomes include boundary problems, low self-esteem, lack of love for self,bending to what others want,attachment issues, high anxiety,severe depression and an inability to develop equal 50-50 relationships. Strategies to overcome the toxic effects of a toxic parent would include the following:  1.Develop a strong spiritual sense of appropriate self-love and self-respect. 2.Replace  negative thoughts with positive ones.  3.Recognize self as a strong person not willing to allow the parental bully from the past to still bully you.  4.Conduct  a burial for all the negative views of self resulting from the bad or even evil  behaviors of the psychologically destructive bully parent. 5.Conduct a ritual washing of your hands or hair in a matter symbolic of ending the bully influences from the past in your current life.  It is a present-day washing similar to Pontius Pilate to not be willing to accept  responsibility for the despicable bully tactics of a toxic parent in the past.  6.  Write out feelings on an ongoing basis  to desensitize you to the abuse you suffered and a recognition of how small and even evil a parent was who would bully and abuse you as a child…I will personally say it is hard to imagine how a parent can abuse a child. The mere thought of a parent abusing  an innocent child brought into the world who deserved love and protection is to often a sad reality Fortunately,many brave persons do overcome the effects of a childhood toxic parent to enjoy the present with great hopes for the future.

     

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