Let us define an affair as when a spouse/partner has a strong emotional and/or physical relationship with a person outside of the marriage/relationship. Whether blatant or hidden until found out,it is devastating to the other spouse/partner. The duration and intensity of the relationship are factors that relate to the possibility of healing and a couple staying together. Numbers are impossible to know for sure since many if not most persons do not admit they are or have had affairs. The AMERICAN ASSOCIATION FOR MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPY says surveys show percentages having extra-marital affairs are 25% for men and 15% for women. Reasons given for affairs would include the following: 1. lack of sexual satisfaction. 2. lack of sexual activity. 3. desire for sexual and/or emotional satisfaction. 4. desires multiple sexual encounters. 5.obsessive-compulsive sexual behavior. 6. lack of love with spouse. 7. desire for ego-enhancement. 8. curiosity. 9. risk-taking. 10. poor judgment. 11. lack of moral compass/conscience. 12. revenge. 13. anger…An amazing thing I have seen in my work of many years with couples is how often spouses will have extramarital affairs and never try to resolve possible underlying issues in their relationships at home. That is not an excuse but a very surprising element of many extramarital affairs.
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