Tag: Divorce

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss GRUDGES ARE BAD FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH March 2, 2021 A grudge is maintaining anger, resentment, hurt, sadness, and/or bitterness if someone is believed to have wronged you. This can range from something as small as a perceived negative look to a major betrayal. Most persons, even if they do not admit it or feel their grudge is legitimate and not a grudge, have them at one time or another in their lives. In fact, many persons live most of their lives with them. When they become time-consuming in your thinking and cause you to have a lot of pathological anger, there is clearly a need to examine yourself and find a way to eliminate them. Anger is often a major component of a grudge. Anger is far more destructive to the person with it than the person that is the object of it. Holding a grudge is like hitting yourself with a hammer to show your anger at someone. Obviously, the person being injured is the person with the hammer and not the object of it. Forgiving and letting go of a grudge is not forgetting or overlooking a wrong that has occurred, and maybe the person has not apologized for it, it is rather a way to get on with your life. You cannot let grudges overwhelm you and allow them to negatively impact on you and your relationships. It frees you to live a life without anger and bitterness from grudges which are replaced with peace and an open heart to interact with others. You choose not to ruin the present which of course can lead to ongoing damage in the future.

 2-16-2021- Valentine’s Day is a special time of the year when couples share their love for each other with loving cards, comments and gifts of such things as chocolates and flowers. Solid relationships clearly are stronger when each member of the couple is aware there is gratitude, love, caring and a general awareness of the importance of the relationship. When this occurs,then the natural outcome is enhanced emotional and sexual compatibility that  only gains strength as the couple develops deeper and more meaningful love over the years. Celebrating such events as anniversaries, birthdays,special days in your relationship and any other potential time to celebrate together the importance of your love for each other and the relationship will only enhance it. Too often people live in what becomes a boring routine relationship and true gratitude and love can become dimmed and the result is a loss of emotional and sexual satisfaction  which can lead to withering and even an ending of the relationship. It is important to not allow this to happen and that each person in a relationship never forget why they are together.  They are building a life together that can include children, a home, fun and work activities together. While these are all important aspects of a successful relationship, the showing of gratitude and acts of love will ensure loving times together on an ongoing basis. These are essential to have a positive emotional and sexual long-term relationship. That is why I am suggesting each day be treated as Valentine’s Day. You will see the results will be a greatly enhanced relationship based on strong and mutual emotional and sexual compatibility and desire.

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM discuss WHY DAYDREAMING CAN BE PSYCHOLOGICALLY HELPFUL IN OUR DAY-TO-DAY LIVING2-2-2021

WHY DAYDREAMING CAN BE PSYCHOLOGICALLY HELPFUL IN OUR DAY-TO-DAY LIVING. In a world that is often boring and sometimes even painful much of the time for many persons, the ability to daydream about various things can be very psychologically helpful in day-to-day living. This could be particularly true during this time of COVID. This excludes daydreaming that leads to confusion with reality that can lead a person to not be able to live a normal life by confusing daydreaming with reality or using it to not live in reality. The following positive examples where daydreaming or even fantasizing can be helpful psychologically would include the following:  1.Help us relax/keep calm when life has us on overload. 2.Help us better achieve our goals by daydreaming(visualizing) our accomplishing them with the positive feelings that would result. 3.Creating role models we can try to become.  4.Daydreaming about what might happen if changes in current life trajectory are made. This can lead to major life changes. 5.Identifying with fictional or real life persons can help a person feel a closeness that can be helpful in a life with few meaningful human relationships. 6.When mired in the process of completing school work or work related training for advancement to a desired work/educational outcome,daydreaming about finally obtaining the desired goal can help inspire us  to keep working to accomplish the goal.

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly 1-26-2020

HOW TO HAVE A CIVILIZED CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE YOU HAVE STRONG DISAGREEMENTS. The suggestions made here are based on situations where there is not a risk of physical or emotional abuse. Skill Sets that  allow you to have a civilized discussion with someone you have strong disagreements are hard to find and develop in this world of the “cancel culture” where you eliminate someone you disagree with and never try to find common ground. I suggest the following strategies to use to have a civilized conversation. I must add  personal disagreements go back as far as Cain and Abel. 1.Always respect the other person. 2.Accept your fears and concerns openly and honestly in your conversation. 3.Always respect the views of the other person as you present yours. 4.Be open about where you got your information if arguing a point on research. 5.Never use words like idiot, stupid, ignorant, imbecile, etc. in your discussions. This will quickly ruin the discussion and maybe the relationship. 6.Sincerely show your understanding of the other person’s position even if you disagree. 7.Never use sarcasm or pointed jokes that are meant to humiliate. That will quickly end the conversation. 8.Never be a know-it-all. Conversations and relationships can end quickly with a know-it-all. 9.Always voice appreciation to the person you strongly disagree with for the respect they have shown you in your conversation. That will lay the foundation for future civilized conversations. 10.Use of “active listening” where you encourage the person to get all their feelings out on a matter  with no judgment on your part. The goal is to fully understand the position of the person even if you totally disagree. This is a hard skill to develop. 11.Never forget you can control what you say and how you say it. That is not the case for others.

January 19, 2021

Dr JohnBraccio discusses with Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS:

WHY PERSONS WHO WANT A RELATIONSHIP WILL NOT TAKE A CHANCE ON LOVE

There are so many lonely and unhappy persons who will not take a chance on love. The following are reasons they will not:  1. Finding flaws in potential partners. 2.Letting “perfect” ruin good and very good potential relationships. 3.Fruitless comparison with  ex-partners or spouses. 4. Letting the fear of rejection supersede the possibility for a loving relationship. 5. Setting rigid requirements that eliminate many promising potential partners…My advice is to be reasonable and give love a chance. In most cases, the rewards of a long term loving relationship are worth the risks.

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly of 1320 AM WILS 11-17-2020 WHY GRATEFULNESS PRIOR TO THANKSGIVING IS IMPORTANT DURING THE PANDEMIC WITH EXPANDING RESTRICTIONS As Michigan and other states have even been adding more restrictions prior to Thanksgiving,people already weary must adapt to new restrictions which will result in millions of persons not being with many loved ones and friends during this Thanksgiving period. Even worse,many persons will be alone from now until after Thanksgiving. This year,Thanksving,generally a time of happiness for the vast majority,will be a difficult time emotionally for most. With that said,even in this very difficult period,it is good for our own mental health to show gratefulness for what we have and help others having a hard time. The following are ways we can show gratefulness even in these difficult pandemic times: 1.Call persons from your past or even more recently who helped advance you in life and thank them. 2.Call persons to cheer them up when you know or believe they are not doing well. 3.For many,be grateful for the time to further develop your spirituality and individual relationship with your God. 4.With or without a sense of spirituality,this is a time to be grateful to evaluate and more strongly develop your moral code. 5.Be grateful for the time to contact friends and other persons for long interactions which you probably would not have had without the extra time.

Dr Braccio & Dave Akerly discuss OCD AND THE PANDEMIC 11-10-2020 The pandemic impacts all of us to one degree or another. Persons with OCD(OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER) can suffer very severe psychological dysfunction due to it. The characteristics of this psychological disorder are far above average unreasonable thoughts and fears(OBSESSIONS) that result in compulsive behaviors to help reduce the anxiety The condition can be severe in times of relative normality. Common types of OCD INCLUDE CONTAMINATION,HOARDING,INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS,CONSTANT CHECKING,INCESSANT HAND WASHING AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT WOULD SEEM ABSURD TO ANYONE ELSE. The anxiety can only be relieved by the compulsive behavior. Prognosis is not good and the person needs to always be on guard so as not to return to the compulsion and to add others. The following are some remedies to use during the pandemic: 1.KEEP IN CONTACT WITH PERSONS. 2.DO NOT SOCIAL ISOLATE. 3.PRACTICE SOCIAL DISTANCE 4.WASH HANDS REASONABLY,DO NOT TOUCH THE FACE AND WEAR MASKS. 5.DO NOT OBSESS OVER THINGS THE PERSON CANNOT CONTROL. 6.STAY IN CONTACT WITH THERAPIST OR SEEK ONE OUT IF NECESSARY. 7.TAKE CARE OF BASIC PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL NEEDS. 8.EXERCISE DAILY. 9.ELIMINATE NEWS,PEOPLE AND CIRCUMSTANCES THAT CAUSE ANXIETY. 10.MAINTAIN A CONSISTENT AND REASONABLE ROUTINE.