Question
JHB
Dr.Braccio: My husband and I were talking about what we now konya merkez bayan arkadaş accept as our lifelong obsession with security. Our parents, who were from the Great Depression Era, raised us this way. We’ve always been cautious and have secure governmental jobs. My husband did not play sports in high school out of fear he might get hurt and I always have been in the background so as not to be noticed. Our older children are the same and both have relatively secure jobs. Our unexpected thirteen year old, fifteen years younger than his sister and seventeen years younger than his brother, is a risk taker and has already worn us out with worry. He plays football, baseball and any other sport he can. While we worry, we do realize he thrives on competition and seems to be happy, even if intense much of the time. Unexpectedly, he has taught us that life offers more than security. Even our older children, who also follow his athletic career, are amazed by him and how different he is from us. We all follow his athletic career. Even though late, how can we get more zip in our life and how can we not worry so much about him?
Answer
You have big questions. To begin with, you have had successful lives and have eliminated much risk. To have security in this unpredictable world is positive. Your influence over your two older children is obvious because they are like you. Your youngest son clearly beats to his own drum, and his drum beats to one of excitement and challenge. With him around, this can be a good time to change and “get more zip” in your life.
An important thing to remember is that thinkers from Julius Caesar to modern day guru Dr. Wayne Dyer have said fear of the unknown causes more fear than what we can see. To seek out the unknown and meet new challenges can be exhilarating if fear of the unknown does not stop us from trying new things.
In your own situation, look at life from a probability perspective. For example, to spend money to buy a modest cottage may be a risk, but look at your financial situation and job security. It would appear that after such a review, you would determine to buy the cottage if you so desired. On the other hand, to quit your jobs and go to California to seek a more exciting 1960s life would not make sense without a lot of planning.
It is positive you are not seeing your son as “wrong” and trying to stifle his thriving on “competition” and being happy with the life he is living. This is a compliment to the parenting of both of you. While you need to teach him how to be stable, effective and balanced, his competitive life is positive for him and try to learn from him. Recognize there are risks in what he does, but the positive excitement and achievement make them acceptable. This outlook can reduce your worrying.
Enjoy his life with him and “go with the flow”. This may be difficult after so many years of “Depression Era” thinking. The key thing is to relax and get some excitement through some uncertainty that can keep the blood flowing. Remember the excitement in the voice of Captain Kirk of Star Trek when he said he would “go where no man has gone before”. Even if you are not ready to become Captain Kirk, go places emotionally and physically where you have not been before and you will “get more zip in you life.” The unique factor is that your son can be your guide!
Any questions or comments would be appreciated!