What If-ing

Hello Everyone!

“What if” scenarios are one of the great causes of Human Anxiety.We need to anamur bayan escort relax, look at reasonable outcomes and not worry ourselves sick. The following Question/Answer can be helpful to you or someone you love overcome the torture of “what if” scenarios.

Question

I admit to being a “what if” mom. I worry about everything even though nothing really bad happens to me, my husband or our three children. I feel I put too much pressure on my family to make sure everything is done right and safely. I also resent that my husband and children don’t worry like I do. My main concern is that my daughter is going to be driving on her own this summer. I’m a basket case, which is making her, her younger brothers, and my husband all upset with me. They all say she is capable of driving and is a responsible person. They feel I’m overreacting, as always. Maybe that’s true, but I worry she’ll be killed in an accident. I also won’t know what she’s doing because I won’t be driving her around. I’m probably overly concerned but can’t stop “what if-ing”. What can I do?

Answer

You need to back off. If your daughter is responsible, and she seems to be, then driving alone is an activity she can do with appropriate training and after reaching the legal age. As for your constant worrying, try giving yourself an hour of worry time each day, combating your “what if ” thoughts with positive affirmation non-worry thoughts. If you still cannot cope, you should seek help from a therapist experienced with anxiety issues. To “what if” every situation is really a torturous condition. The anxiety that results from the worry does not allow you to enjoy the present. Right how your present is full of anxiety. Remember all your worrying will never change a thing. You’re better off educating your children so they can make good decisions when problems arise. Use your energy to make sure your daughter is fully prepared to drive and could do it without the unnecessary pressure of your dramatic worrying at home. This could cause her to be an anxious driver and this could be dangerous. Another issue here seems to be a premature dress rehearsal for the “empty nest syndrome”. This is natural stage of the weaning process that begins when our children first are let out of our sight. You need to see her driving as a necessary step in her developing autonomy in life. Of course, you need to make sure she is well prepared and drives as you desire. A positive aspect to your daughter’s driving is the autonomy and responsibility it will help her develop. It also allows you to use the car as a tool to encourage appropriate behavior in your daughter. The privilege of driving the car can be a great incentive for better grades, getting a job and doing regular chores. To stop “what if-ing” will be very difficult for you. The pattern of thinking seems well-ingrained. The important thing is for you to enjoy the present. Prepare for problems but enjoy the joys of everyday living with a loving and caring family.

My Program on “Panic Attacks: Stop Them Now!” and various of my Brownbag CD Programs could be helpful if this is a problem for you.

Questions?

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