May 20, 2025- Subscribe to our YouTube page! The skilled manipulator is often charming, has charisma and can be very convincing they are most sincere, loving and caring persons. In reality, they are the classic con person who is trying to take advantage of persons. Even if it is hard to admit, if we are honest, we must admit we have been manipulated by others at one time or another. This does not mean we did anything particularly wrong or dishonest. No,it simply means we did something we would not have done if someone had not manipulated us into doing it for one reason or another. The advantage the skilled manipulator has is that most people are trusting and want to believe the motives of other persons when they are with us in terms of asking us to believe something to do things. The more trusting we are, the more the skilled manipulator has a chance to take advantage of us. Not all skilled manipulators are psychopaths and have no conscience, but they clearly are persons who want to control others and have them do as they desire. The typical example of the skilled manipulator is the person who gets you to help them move two times but then is always not available when you need them to help you. They make all kinds of promises to you that if you help them they will do the same for you. At a worse level is the manipulator who could control you into becoming a best friend or even a person who loves you when in reality, they have no love for you at all, but simply want to control you. Everything is wonderful until you say no and decide that you have your own feelings and beliefs. Their techniques include deceptively showing false caring and honesty in their interactions when in reality, they are often gaslighting them, and trying to convince them their opinions must be the same as theirs. Charming and loving traits may be in place when they are getting what they desire. The problem occurs when they want you to believe something or do something and you resist. The narcissist is easier to spot because everything relates to them, and this becomes clear rather quickly. The psychopath manipulator is clearly evil and because they have no sense of right or wrong, they are the most skillful when they come across as trustful, honest and wanting your best interests taken into account. They may be very difficult to work with in the workplace because while they are trying to control you with a Machiavellian type of fear and control, they will come across just looking out for you and that you are both on the same team trying to complete a very important and critical job. In reality, they are often simply looking out for their own interests and you are simply a pawn in whatever activity they are trying to accomplish. They may charm and convince you to stay on your job even if you have an opportunity for a better one because they say this is your opportunity and they will lead you to more success and better jobs. After you do not take the job, they quickly take another job that is a promotion for them and just up and leave without saying anything to you other than maybe good luck. The best defense against the skilled manipulator is to set boundaries for what you believe and are going to do. You also need to learn that saying no is an appropriate response and that yes is not always necessary. The old saying that when someone appears to be too good to be true, that is generally true and a good standard to initially judge people.