Category: Blog

Hello Everyone!

This question with my response is not that unusual.I always tell parents that silifke eskort numaraları their love and involvement as parents are far more critical than giving children money and things.

Question

I’m having a hard time as a single parent with 8 and 12 year old children. I just feel so small when comparing myself to parents of friends of my children. As a single parent, I don’t make much money compared to most of them and feel so much pressure to give my children all the clothes and things other kids have. I even have part time job I do at home. I know they love me and we are very close. I love them so much and go to all their events. But I feel small. What can I do? If it weren’t for the financial support of my father, things would even be worse.

Answer

You need to be your own best friend and praise yourself for being a loving mother who goes to all the events of her children. Even with millions of dollars and great power, you could not always “keep up with the Joneses”. If you try, there will always be someone with more money, a bigger and more unique house, a prettier face, a better figure, children with better grades who are better athletes and have more sought-after friends. This is the result of much fruitless competition. The loving relationship you and your two children have is unique and no one else can have one just like it. And there can never be too much love between children and parents. Without picking on any of the people you are comparing yourself with, suffice it to say that all the energy that goes into competing with others often ends up causing feelings of depression and low self-esteem. The irony is that you cannot see the insecurity and doubt that those who “compete with others” experience everyday. They must always appear “perfect” and also look over their shoulders to see who is gaining on them, and eventually, they must be unhappy because they cannot compete “with the Joneses” in one or more of the areas they are competing. These ongoing self-imposed pressures detract from developing the type of familial love you want to grow among you and your children.
Too often in our society, we have replaced our greatest wealth, love for each other, with material goods and pricey privileges. They lack the human qualities we need to nurture and grow. In effect, they are only money-related. I am not negating the importance of nice things and the benefits that come from good income. My point is that the most important thing in life, such as family love and the resulting mutual respect, are truly free and we can have as much as we can give and receive. Things on the earth perish but love goes from one generation to the next. Be proud of the relationship you have with your children and build on it. Do not deceive yourself and sell yourself short. Seek in yourself and family the love and respect we all need as humans. That you are doing this is wonderful and it must continue to be your priority. When you think of yourself, replace the word “small” with “loving”. You will feel so much better.

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Hello Everyone!

The following facts on Eating Disorders may be of interest.Most people are not aware how dangerous and common konya merkez escort they are.
1. 2-3% of young woman have Bulimia.
2. 1% of young women have Anorexia Nervosa.
3. 5-15% of Bulimia and Anorexia Nervosa are men. Most are women.
4. 3-4% of the general population are binge eaters.
5. 1000 or more young women die in the U.S. each year due to Anorexia Nervosa.
6. 20% of person die of a serious Eating Disorder if not treated.
7. 2-3% die when treated.
If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

This situation is very typical with divorced parents when children put one parent against the other to get what they want.Fortunately, the parents in this kocasinan bayan numaraları situation decided to work together. Divorced parents must not let their anger at each other lead to bad parenting. My DVD and CD set entitled: “Divorce: Coping and Overcoming It” could be helpful if the effects of your divorce are negatively impacting on your parenting or other painful aspects of divorce.

Question

My ex-husband and I usually cannot agree on anything. But now, we’ve finally agreed our ten year old daughter is lying to each of us to get what she wants. Fortunately, I happened to be with my wonderful ex-mother-in-law when I told my daughter I would not buy her a bike until she treated me with more respect and cleaned up her room. She told her father I said I hated her and would never buy her a bike. Of course, he went right out and bought her the bike. My mother-in-law found out what happened and told him the truth. He actually called me and said we have to get along better or this type of thing will keep happening. He hasn’t wanted to talk about this very type of situation in the past. I can try, but I don’t trust him. What do you think?

Answer

There are few bigger problems resulting from a divorce than a child playing one parent against the other. It not only causes great emotional distress to both parents but further destroys what is often an emotionally raw and explosive relationship. If this type of situation continues, the worst casualty will be your daughter. She will not only learn to manipulate each of you to her own advantage, but will not care about the hurt and anger she causes. It will be the classic example of the end justifying the means. If these manipulative behaviors carry over to relationships outside the home, the eventual emotional damage to your daughter and everyone who has personal interactions with her can predictably be great. Even though difficult because of previous interactions between the two of you, you two must effectively interact at least in relation to her. Try to have your mutual love for her be the key factor to unite you. Do not let your distrust for each other destroy the emotional health of all three of you. Since both of you seem to trust your ex-mother-in-law, maybe she can help you communicate better. You both need to talk to your daughter jointly and let her know you will not accept her lying to either of you. Use the bike as a beginning. Take the bike away from her if this has not already happened and only let her have it when she tells the truth over a period of time and generally does what you desire. It is a reasonable standard for a child to be respectful in order to receive something special from parents.
Hopefully this situation will not only help your daughter but lead to civil communication between you and her father at least in relation to her.

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Hello Everyone!

The following column is a response to a question about persons who have Bariatric Surgery.I indicate in my extensive experiences in doing Bariatric Evaluations that there are persons who have been sexually abused, but that anamur eskort kızlar would not at all be the main reason persons have the surgery. This is often a last health resort for obese persons having many physical problems.

Question

A friend and I have been discussing if childhood sexual abuse is the major reason most people have Bariatric Surgery. What do you think?

Answer

Interestingly, a physician recently asked me this question. I randomly checked fifteen Bariatric evaluations on persons I have done and found only one who had been sexually abused. In the four Bariatric Evaluations I have done in the past few weeks, I directly asked persons if they had been sexually abused. All said no. I talked to Mary Wolf, R.N., Bariatric Surgery Coordinator of the Ingham Regional Weight Management, and she also has not found childhood sexual abuse to be the major reason most people have Bariatric Surgery. Even though other psychologists and Bariatric Centers could have higher percentages, my personal experience and those as reported at Ingham Regional Weight Management would not show childhood sexual abuse to be the major reason persons seek Bariatric Surgery.
Please get back with me if you find data different that this. I hope this information will be helpful. As s general rule, I find most persons seeking Bariatric surgery are basically good people who have lost control of their weight and their obesity is a major threat to their health.

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Hello Everyone!

The following response to a question to me is typical of concerns of persons who try to lose weight and fail over and over again.The key factor kocasinan bayan numaraları is to change how we see ourselves. My CD set, “Liberate Yourself from Weight Gain”, could help you lose weight if you are on a diet and recognize the changes you must make in yourself in order to weigh what you desire.

Question

I’m constantly asking myself why I’m fat. I want to weigh less but I won’t stop eating. Is it that I’m lazy, have no discipline or what?

Answer

Let us begin by saying that weight loss requires a change in our attitude about how we see ourselves. This a key point learned in the years I have worked with people to help them with weight loss and with the few hundred assessments I have done as part of the Bariatric surgery process. To be lazy, lack discipline or any other reasons you think you cannot lose weight are simply symptoms that prove you have not changed the way you see yourself in relation to weight loss.
It is critical to weight loss to recognize that until you change the way you eat, live and see yourself that you cannot lose the weight you desire.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

The following question sent to me is typical of concerns parents have about their children taking medication.As you can see, I believe to ask your doctor questions is karatay escort the right thing to do. Doctors actually are usually happy to answer good questions to be helpful.

Question

I’m not sure what to do about medication and my son. My doctor at times recommends over the counter medications and prescriptions. My concern relates to all kinds of questions about the medicines. Should I feel funny asking them to our doctor? What about over- the-counter medications? What should I ask?

Answer

You have every right to ask your doctor about medicines, whether over-the-counter or prescriptions, as they relate to your child. In fact, to not do so is a bad decision. You must be knowledgeable about what negative side effects might occur. That is the job of an effective parent. You also can read about the medicines and talk to your pharmacist. Questions to ask would be as follows?

1. What is the purpose of the drug?
2. How does it interact with other medications my child is taking?
3. When and how much of the medicine does my child take every day?
4. How long will my child need the medication?
5. What are the side effects I need to be aware of?
6. Where should the medications be placed?
7. How quickly does the medication take effect?
8. What should I do if we miss a dose?

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

This question/answer column presents an increasingly common problem situation in the United States at this time.Some children stay home because of emotional safety and security, economic reasons and a myraid konya merkez bayan arkadaş of other reasons. Hopefully, my response will be helpful to some of you.

Question

My husband and I have the odd situation of a twenty-nine year old son living with us who has graduated from college, has a good job but chooses not to move out. He loves his family and we’re glad to have him with us but wonder if we should push him to leave. His older sister and my sister and brothers feel he needs to go and we should push the issue for his sake. They feel he needs to date more and see other people. He knows this and it bothers him. In a moment of candor, he admitted he’s insecure and feels secure and happy when living with us and would rather not move. What should we do?

Answer

This is not a simple “keep him” or “kick him out”. While the majority of Americans might tell you to ease him out, any experienced therapist will tell you of the many lonely patients they work with, both parents and children, who are alone and depressed and feel rejected by their families. The love you all share is not a gift to be taken lightly.
It also is true that “conventional wisdom”, such as suggested by his relatives, is not always right. Your son appears well balanced emotionally and happy living with you. From the view point of family disintegration in modern America, your relationship is a triumph for families.
The only “red flag” is that he told you he is insecure. To make him leave would not necessarily develop security; in fact, it could have the opposite results.
It would be wise for you and your husband to meet with your son and discuss his “insecurity”. If you determine he is living with you out of fear of being alone and dealing with normal problems of adult life on his own, then you might try to help him to gradually move out.
You three do not appear to be in a co-dependent relationship where each of you is dependent on the other and stunted emotional growth is the result.
It could be helpful for your son to see a therapist experienced in anxiety disorders to see if he has any anxiety problems. If he does, they could be remediated with counseling and/or medication to ease his tension and help allow him to make his choices more freely.
It also is possible you have an adult son and family member who wants to live with his parents and regularly see his family until he meets someone to marry. This is common in many cultures. For one example, the traditional Italian-American culture often encourages unmaried children to stay home until they are married. Who has not heard an Italian-America son say, “No one makes pasta like mama”.
Whatever decision you make needs to be made by the three of you with open discussion and decision making. You can listen to others, but the choice is yours.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

The following question is my response to a person about weight loss and what you need to believe before you can have long-term success.Never forget you can only be who you believe you deserve to silifke eskort numaraları be. The specific weight loss plan you choose is secondary to this key belief.

Question

I am fat and always seem to lose interest in following my diet after a week or two. My husband says I need to lose weight for me and my problem is that I donÕt like myself and being fat is how I see myself. What do you think?

Response

I agree with your husband. Healthy diets with good nutritious foods in reasonable portions along with exercise will help you lose weight. The problem so many people have is that they cannot visualize themselves at a reasonable weight and their low self-esteem screams at them that they are fat. The result is that they cannot get theses ideas out of their mind. Then when they do lose weight, they gain it back and the cycle continues. This is why 90% of persons over 40 that lose weight gain it back. I believe this is happening to you.
You need to not only stick to a good diet with exercise, but need to visualize yourself at a healthy weight for you. The key is to believe you deserve to be a healthy person. Say this to yourself over and over again and you will over time begin to believe it. Why not begin today? My weight loss program, “Liberate Yourself From Weight Gain”, could be helpful to you to meet your personal growth and weight loss goals. However, the key is that you believe you can lose weight and deserve it.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

A recent study has shown that the number of teenagers using prescription drugs is increasing.I was sought mersin anamur escort bayanları out to discuss substance abuse and asked questions about the rising abuse of prescription drugs by teenagers. This is clearly a growing problem that parents and other concerned persons need to resolve. This edited transcript of my interview, that was done on 2/17/07 with WLNS-TV, Channel 6, is presented here. Even though not the same, you might find my Brownbag CD entitled, “Teenage Smoking: Help Your Child Say No”, helpful. WLNS-TV CHANNEL 6 NEWS REPORT ON FEBRUARY 17, 2007

Question

How much of an increase are we seeing with teenagers using prescription drugs?

Response

We see it consistently in Michigan and across the country. As they become more and more accessible, teenagers use them more and more. They go through medicine cabinets and unfortunately take and use prescription drugs.

Question

Do teenagers believe this might be a safer way to get high rather than using street drugs?

Response

Most teenagers probably aren’t thinking too much about what is safer. At their ages, they too often feel they are immortal. To some, it certainly is easier to get prescription drugs in the bathroom rather than buying drugs on the street. Some do feel it is safer because they know it is a prescription drug. “I’m taking Oxycontin or Vicodin. They couldn’t be anything like Opium”. While of course, they are all part of the same family. So I think a lot of time there is naivety on the part of teenagers about the true dangers of prescription drugs. Others probably see them as easily obtained drugs that do what they want at no cost to them.

Question

What should parents look out for?

Response

First of all, keep track of what medications you have and how much you have. For example, if you are taking Vicodin for pain and you start noticing some are missing, then there is clearly a problem that you need to do something about. Putting locks on medicine cabinets or putting prescription drugs in places inaccessible to the teenagers is critical. You must limit the accessibility. If you are losing weight, you do not put ice cream and chocolate in front of you or leave out alcohol in front of the alcoholic. If you have a teenager who you believe is abusing prescription drugs, you must not be a part of the problem. After you end availability of the drugs, the next step is to get any necessary substance abuse treatment for your child. Children need to know how a combination of drugs, prescription or street, can lead to death or serious injury.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

The following column is a response to a question written by a person deciding whether or not to have Bariatic Surgery to help deal with what appears to be health threatening obesity.My advise to silifke escort ilanları her is to make sure she has all the information available as part of the process of determining whether she is a good candidate for the surgery. I advised her to follow her own heart and mind.

Question

Dr. Braccio:  I’m very obese and have given up trying to lose weight with diets. My heart, blood pressure, arthritis, sleep apnea cholesterol and knee joints are all going kaput. I’m considering “Baratric Surgery” with the strong support of my family doctor, cardiologist, husband, children and sister. My problem is that my co-workers tell me this is stupid and my mother says she would never do such a thing. What should I do?

Answer

You need to do what you feel is right If you have researched the surgery and the possible risks and determined the benefits outweigh the negatives, then go forward with the evaluation process to determine if you are a good candidate for this surgery. To have the support of your family doctor, cardiologist, husband, children and sister is very positive.

I am aware of few serious complications resulting from the Bariatric Surgery in the approximately 250 Bariatric Psychological Assessments I have done over the years. The positive results have often been amazing for those who enter the surgery fully aware of the whole process and effectively carry through with appropriate aftercare. This is not to minimize possible problems but to put them in perspective.

As a final comment, this is a personal choice that only you can make. Take advice but follow your own heart and head when making a final decision.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

Weight gain and weight loss continue to be huge issues among most of us. The following question/response sent to me will hopefully give you a few helpful ideas on weight loss.

Question

Dr. Braccio:  A friend let me borrow your CD set on Weight Loss, “Free Yourself From Weight Gain” Program and it has been very helpful.I use the hypnosis CD every day silifke eskort numaraları and I periodically go over the information CD. My problem is that even though I stick to a diet most of time and am losing weight, I can’t seem to remember what I’ve eaten on some days when I think about it at the end of the day. What should I do? I’m committed to losing weight.

Answer

The positive thing is that you are losing weight. The problem is you need a daily journal to keep track of what you eat. It is wise to plan before the day begins what you will eat on a daily basis to eliminate surprises and losing track of your calorie intake. As you know, my concern is not what diet you are on just as long as it is healthy and family doctor supported. I have known many people over the years who have lost weight with various weight plans. The keys are to do daily exercise, eat nutritiously and control food and calorie intake to the level that you will weigh what you desire.

You need to exercise daily. It is as critical as food intake to exercise daily. There are some written materials that I include with my “Liberate Yourself From Weight Gain” program that you can borrow from the person who loaned you my set. For now, a simple daily chart to help you with your diet on a daily basis would include the following: 1. Daily desired food intake. 2. Calories, fat grams, carbs, proteins and fiber taken in each day with totals for each. 3. Include everything you eat at meals and snacks. 4. Included will be eight glasses of liquids including water, juices milk and soup. 7. I suggest you weight yourself daily and have a starting your diet weight with your ongoing weight.

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If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

I hope this Newsletter finds you well and surviving the Winter wherever you may be.This Newletter is about helping teenagers who anamur eskort bayan have substance abuses but want to end them and I have been asked to help out. My advice in my column below is from a question asked of me and that my answer is that you only enter into such a relationship with great caution or you will get hurt emotionally.

Question

Dr. Braccio:  My sister and nephew have asked my husband and me if we would let him live with us the end of this summer and next school year. If we can, we would like to help him and my sister. He will be in the 11th grade. He was fine until problem signs occurred in October. Then his grades began falling in school as he was using primarily pot but also some cocaine. He has been in treatment and has tested clean the past 2 1/2 months. Due to a late academic surge, he will pass this school year. He wants to come here for a change of environment. He and his mother have encouraged us to talk to his school counselor, school principal and substance abuse therapist who works with him in group therapy. We love him and would like to help him. Our kids are out of the home and we can take him in. We want to help but are worried. Should we let him live with us?

Answer

This is not a simple “yes” or “no” answer.

The positive factors are that he apparently has changed, you love him, want to help him and your sister, and he has asked to come to have a new opportunity.
The negative factors are that he has been on drugs, chaos would occur if he were to use them again, it could be difficult for him to adapt to a new environment, you will need to find a trained therapist in substance abuse for him, become aware of symptoms of substance abuse, and adapt to a new person in your home.

Prior to saying “yes”, I would suggest you talk to the school counselor, and school principal if need be, to determine how they feel about your nephew and the overall situation. Do they believe he will stay off drugs as well as be able to adapt to living in a new home environment?

Maybe most important, you need to talk to the therapist who runs the substance abuse group he is a part. Find out his/her professional opinion as to how your nephew is doing emotionally, if he could adapt to a new home environment, and if he/she believes he may go back to drugs.

If your nephew does come to live with you, obtaining and trying to implement the recommendations of the substance abuse therapist and school persons could be critical to your success.

If the principal, counselor, or substance abuse therapist have any doubts as to whether he will stay off drugs, I would suggest you and your husband not have him live with you.

While this may seem harsh, the pain would be too great for both of you if he were to live with you and go back to using illegal substances. It would be another defeat for him and would in all probability destroy your relationship with him for some time, and quite possibly permanently.

The key thing is that the probability of success must be very high for the sake of everyone involved.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

“What if” scenarios are one of the great causes of Human Anxiety.We need to anamur bayan escort relax, look at reasonable outcomes and not worry ourselves sick. The following Question/Answer can be helpful to you or someone you love overcome the torture of “what if” scenarios.

Question

I admit to being a “what if” mom. I worry about everything even though nothing really bad happens to me, my husband or our three children. I feel I put too much pressure on my family to make sure everything is done right and safely. I also resent that my husband and children don’t worry like I do. My main concern is that my daughter is going to be driving on her own this summer. I’m a basket case, which is making her, her younger brothers, and my husband all upset with me. They all say she is capable of driving and is a responsible person. They feel I’m overreacting, as always. Maybe that’s true, but I worry she’ll be killed in an accident. I also won’t know what she’s doing because I won’t be driving her around. I’m probably overly concerned but can’t stop “what if-ing”. What can I do?

Answer

You need to back off. If your daughter is responsible, and she seems to be, then driving alone is an activity she can do with appropriate training and after reaching the legal age. As for your constant worrying, try giving yourself an hour of worry time each day, combating your “what if ” thoughts with positive affirmation non-worry thoughts. If you still cannot cope, you should seek help from a therapist experienced with anxiety issues. To “what if” every situation is really a torturous condition. The anxiety that results from the worry does not allow you to enjoy the present. Right how your present is full of anxiety. Remember all your worrying will never change a thing. You’re better off educating your children so they can make good decisions when problems arise. Use your energy to make sure your daughter is fully prepared to drive and could do it without the unnecessary pressure of your dramatic worrying at home. This could cause her to be an anxious driver and this could be dangerous. Another issue here seems to be a premature dress rehearsal for the “empty nest syndrome”. This is natural stage of the weaning process that begins when our children first are let out of our sight. You need to see her driving as a necessary step in her developing autonomy in life. Of course, you need to make sure she is well prepared and drives as you desire. A positive aspect to your daughter’s driving is the autonomy and responsibility it will help her develop. It also allows you to use the car as a tool to encourage appropriate behavior in your daughter. The privilege of driving the car can be a great incentive for better grades, getting a job and doing regular chores. To stop “what if-ing” will be very difficult for you. The pattern of thinking seems well-ingrained. The important thing is for you to enjoy the present. Prepare for problems but enjoy the joys of everyday living with a loving and caring family.

My Program on “Panic Attacks: Stop Them Now!” and various of my Brownbag CD Programs could be helpful if this is a problem for you.

My Program on “Panic Attacks: Stop Them Now!” and various of my Brownbag CD Programs could be helpful if this is a problem for you.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Hello Everyone!

Parents regularly call me and meet with me because of problems with their children.It is important mersin eskort to know that the best of parents have problems with teaching responsibility to their children. This is a response to a question to me about children learning responsibility.

Question

Dr. Braccio:  Even though our 9 and 10 year old children are usually polite and helpful to others, they don’t have a sense of responsibility in our home. We have to ask them to do what we want until we’re blue in the face. They behave as if we’re torturing them when we ask them to help out in the house. Whether it’s cleaning their rooms, which sometimes look like a tornado hit them, or taking out the trash, they have no initiative to help. Sometime we do it ourselves just to avoid an argument. What did we do wrong? What can we do to develop a sense of responsibility in them? We hope it’s not too late.

Answer

You have not created a home where your children are expected to do what you want. It is never too late to start developing responsibility in children, though, it simply makes it harder when you start when they are 9 and 10.
The fact they “are usually polite and helpful to others” is positive and how they simply need to learn to be responsible at home.

Responsibility does not just happen. It’s important for the two of you to demonstrate responsibility. Also, your expectations should be age-appropriate. It would be helpful to have a predictable daily and weekly list of chores. To help remind your children, put the list in a prominent place, such as on the refrigerator door.

Praise and encourage them when they do what you expect, and have appropriate and consistent punishment when they do not. Privileges, allowances and other special family benefits need to be withheld when they are not meeting their home responsibilities.

It is important that they not only know what is expected of them, but most importantly, why it is important they develop a sense of responsibility. This may be a hard sell initially, but with patience and persistence they will become responsible.

The goal is for them to take ownership of what they must do. Even though you are starting late, begin right away and move with confidence. You will succeed in developing a sense of home responsibility in them if you do not waver in your age- appropriate expectations.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

Welcome to my monthly Newsletter

Hope your New Year is going well.Happy New Year Everyone!
We made it through Christmas and the Holiday Period and the New Year begins!

An easy plan is to put a smile on your face and say konya merkez bayan arkadaş hello to at least one new person a day. So many people are lonely in our world. You can brighten up the life of so many people this year just by saying hello. It will also make you feel better as you realize you are helping others.

Questions?

If you have any questions regarding my website or products, please email me or call (800) 233-0766. All products have a 30-day money back guarantee. My goal is to satisfy you and be helpful.

As Christmas and 2007 draw near, we need to continue to eat healthy and not drink excessively. The following are some strategies that can be helpful:

• Determine what you will eat and drink prior to taking part in any parties, meals or celebrations.
• Recognize that many persons gain unnecessary weight over the holidays because they lose control of their eating and drinking habits.
• Exercise on a regular routine.You may have to adjust your regular workout schedule due to travel, konya merkez bayan arkadaş having visitors or other reasons.
• Be polite but let persons who do not know your healthy eating, drinking or exercise habits know you are firm with them. Do not let your guard down. Bad habits begin when we break good ones.
• Do not do excessive labor. Too many heart attacks occur during the holiday period.
• Christians need to remember Christmas is a Holy day to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ and is not a time just to party, buy and receive gifts.

I wish you and those you love the happiest and holiest of days and a prosperous and healthy New Year. Your emails and communications during 2006 were appreciated and I want them to continue in 2007.

Guilt is generally a useless emotion unless we have done escort bayan mersin wrong and will not undo it or do not feel bad for what we did in the past.

Question

Dr. Braccio:  Our 17-year old son is very fine person. He will graduate from high school after a successful academic, social and athletic experience. The problem is, he only recently told us he has increasingly been feeling horrible about how he mocked and treated a boy when they were in ninth grade. Other kids did it also, but my son says he can’t get over the guilt he has for how he treated him. Our son says the boy left school abruptly and went to parochial school. He believes this is because of how they treated him. My son recently ran into him while out at the theatre. The boy was friendly and asked how he was doing. His friendly attitude made our son feel even worse after how poorly he treated him. He told us how he feels and asked us what to do to make up for what he did. We feel he should talk to the boy and tell him how he feels. What do you think?

Answer

I believe you are correct. To seek him out and tell him how he feels would be a great thing to do for both of them. Guilt is a horrible emotion that needs to be eliminated whether it is based on reality or a false feelings created in us by expectations of others that we inappropriately internalize.

In this case, guilt appears to be an appropriate feeling in him because he clearly did something wrong by his moral standards. This is true whether or not his standard were similar in the past. The way to best resolve the situation would be as follows:

1. Admit to himself that he did wrong.
2. Seek out the person and clearly spell out what he feels he did wrong and apologize. The apology would appear to be the key thing he can do at this late time. Even if the boy minimized what happens, the important thing is that your son admits he believes he did wrong.
3. Make a conscious decision never to do such a thing to another human being.

Anger is a strange emotion.Those who thrive mersin anamur eskort bayanları on it are as ineffective as those who try to repress it completely. We all know what it is but none of us can fully agree on it’s legitimate purpose.

We have the phenomenon of the coach or supervisor telling a player or worker respectively to control his/her anger while another is told anger is something they need to express with aggressive people or in hopeless situations.

We think of the raging spouse in a drunken stupor bashing family members. We also think of the person we believe needs to get angry and stand up for his/her rights. In the latter situation, we may use the word “assertive” in place of angry, but it clearly is part of the overall anger continuum from being “annoyed” to “raging mad”.

The reason is logical why we have so many conflicting views on anger: Because anger in itself is neither good nor bad. The key is how we use it. Anger can save someone in a life- threatening crisis where defending self is critical. It also can destroy one’s relationships with others if one verbally or physically assaults them.

When we are treated unfairly, anger is an appropriate emotion; but only to the degree to resolve the problem. To be angry and to diplomatically express one’s feelings to someone if treated unfairly in the home or at work is a positive use of anger. To physically assault the person would be totally inappropriate. The ultimate irony in a physical attack is that the one who treats someone badly would become the victim because physical assaults are completely unacceptable in our society regardless of the anger provoking person or situation. Even a brutal verbal attack would be inappropriate under all but the most extreme provocations.

Rage is the far end of anger and is generally destructive to the “raging person” under the best of circumstances. Many persons in jail for assault, domestic and otherwise, may have been wronged, but their acts of rage far outweigh the gravity of what caused the anger.

Ongoing anger has a negative effect on one’s physical and mental health. Reducing the stress, anxiety, and depression that result from ongoing anger can help a person live a longer and healthier life.

It would be very difficult to find a happy person who is always filled with anger. The negative impact on persons around them is nearly as destructive as it is to themselves.

The “happy optimist” has wonderful traits that the “angry pessimist” does not. He/she sees the positive side of all situations and has the marvelous quality of humor. The person can laugh at self and others and accept human imperfections with the belief people want to change and be their best. The resulting positive attitude greatly reduces feelings of anger for self and others. Go for it, being angry is a lose-lose situation for everyone involved with it.

This is an example of where people have come together mersin eskort and each is enriched. We all need a purpose in life. You can call it fate or the hand of God.

Question

Dr. Braccio:  Due to an accidental death of one parent and a severe life ending illness to the mother, we have taken guardianship of our eleven year-old nephew. Amazingly, he’s a positive boy. We’re not. My husband and I never had children and he’s had a bad life and is bitter. Even his retirement party was without much ceremony. I’m negative and have very little to be happy about and am basically waiting to die. We worry we will ruin our nephew. He’s such a good and wonderful fellow. He makes us feel better with his sweet laugh and willingness to help out. We don’t mean to, but he’s already seeming unsure of himself as we find negative in everything. What can we do? He a gentle spirit and we want to help him.

Answer

Whether you believe in luck or spiritual intervention, your nephew appears to be what you two need to put positive meaning into your lives.

Your nephew shows one can be positive in spite of a tragedy filled life. Even though he is so young, you can learn from him and build a positive life together.

Interestingly, you have already identified the problem in this situation and it lies in your minds and hearts. As you have chosen to acquire these negative and destructive attitudes and behaviors, you can equally choose to change them. What would ultimately be the harm in a positive world view? The answer is a resounding “absolutely nothing”.  Ask yourselves this, “What kind of a pay-off do we get by remaining negative in our beliefs and expectations? Does this negativity serve to enrich our lives? Do we fear living in joy or peace? If you honestly ask these questions, the answer will clearly be there is no payoff, your negativity does not enrich your lives and amazingly, by your attitudes and behaviors, you must fear to live in joy or peace. Change your outlooks and launch yourself as eagles with clear vision to help yourselves and your nephew.

You can best make changes as you become increasingly aware of every self-limiting or other destructive thoughts and/ or behaviors you exhibit. Choosing love over negativity and debilitating fear would seem to be easy, but it is not when you are so ingrained with negative outlooks. Be responsible for your own happiness.

Since you’re including that loving and gentle spirited nephew in your lives, that responsibility does include creating a secure and harmonious emotional environment for all ofyou.

If you feel the need for support, there are many counseling and therapy resources available to continue your quest to do your best yourselves and your nephew. If you have a spiritual support group or a trusted minister, this can be very supportive and nurturing.

As you try to direct your thoughts, reinforce in your own mind that you have positive intentions to think and behave in the most nurturing ways for your own and your nephew’s sake.

This child is a perfect psychological fix for your needs. How fortunate you are to celebrate life with such a sensitive and gentle spiritual young man. Set high expectations for yourselves and live up to them every day. You can actually “behave” your way into a new and always growing.

Have fun and surprise yourselves with the wonder of the day and the excitement of new adventures. This child has brought you a most precious gift, joy! Cherish and embrace it wisely! Use it to cut loose the bitterness and unhappiness of your pasts. The future is now and it can be warm and sun drenched daily experience. The possibilities are limitless.

Anger continues to be a major concern I see in my practice and all of us see it everyday in so many people we escort mersin read about and interact with in our individual lives. This is an article with some of my reflections on Anger. There are more articles in the section that explains my DVD and CD Set, “I’m Free From Anger Program”, that I made to specifically help people with Anger or those around them.

Thoughts on Anger

Anger is a strange emotion. Those who thrive on it are as ineffective as those who try to repress it completely. We all know what it is but none of us can fully agree on it’s legitimate purpose.

We have the phenomenon of the coach or supervisor telling a player or worker respectively to control his/her anger while another is told anger is something they need to express with aggressive people or in hopeless situations.

We think of the raging spouse in a drunken stupor bashing family members. We also think of the person we believe needs to get angry and stand up for his/her rights. In the latter situation, we may use the word “assertive” in place of angry, but it clearly is part of the overall anger continuum from being “annoyed” to “raging mad”.

The reason is logical why we have so many conflicting views on anger: Because anger in itself is neither good nor bad. The key is how we use it. Anger can save someone in a life- threatening crisis where defending self is critical. It also can destroy one’s relationships with others if one verbally or physically assaults them.

When we are treated unfairly, anger is an appropriate emotion; but only to the degree to resolve the problem. To be angry and to diplomatically express one’s feelings to someone if treated unfairly in the home or at work is a positive use of anger. To physically assault the person would be totally inappropriate. The ultimate irony in a physical attack is that the one who treats someone badly would become the victim because physical assaults are completely unacceptable in our society regardless of the anger provoking person or situation. Even a brutal verbal attack would be inappropriate under all but the most extreme provocations.

Rage is the far end of anger and is generally destructive to the “raging person” under the best of circumstances. Many persons in jail for assault, domestic and otherwise, may have been wronged, but their acts of rage far outweigh the gravity of what caused the anger.

Ongoing anger has a negative effect on one’s physical and mental health. Reducing the stress, anxiety, and depression that result from ongoing anger can help a person live a longer and healthier life.

It would be very difficult to find a happy person who is always filled with anger. The negative impact on persons around them is nearly as destructive as it is to themselves.