Question

Dr.Braccio:  Our fourteen-year old son has had a rocky and difficult eighth grade silifke eskort ilanları year.  He’s been in his first puppy love, which ended in disaster, has been crabby at home and school, wants to be part of the “in group” and continues to be obsessed with how he looks.  A little pimple on his face gets him upset.  As my husband laughs and says, “He’s a general pain in the wazzoo”.  He’s our oldest of four and we wonder if this is what we should expect.  We are a close family and talk a lot, but he’s difficult to deal with much of the time.

Answer

Welcome to puberty and middle school life in the family lives of adolescents and parents.  Things will be at least as complicated next year when he begins high school.

Adolescence is and has been a difficult time.  Children go from elementary school where relationships and body changes occur but nothing like the radical changes that occur in adolescence.  They become very aware of what they look like and too often seem to compete and compare themselves with others.  They become aware of sexuality and the opposite sex.  Feelings of unattractiveness, awkwardness and low self-esteem can cause so much hurt.  Even the changes of voice from the light timber of a child to the beginning of adult sound can be difficult.  A squeak every now and then is not unusual.

Social positioning also changes dramatically.  To be popular and part of the in crowd becomes far more complicated and difficult.  How fast you can gallop on the playground or how many dolls you have becomes irrelevant and is replaced with social graces and getting along with the opposite sex.  Of course, to be a good athlete is very helpful with social status. Unfortunately, to be a top academic student is too often not given enough status and parents and school personnel need to praise it.

Because everything is so new and solid maturity and personality balance are often lacking, it can be a very difficult for persons who do not fit in.  Adolescents are often even cruel as they criticize and ostracize those who are seen as slow and not cool.  This causes great pain in many boys and girls as they are going through so many physical and emotional changes and need to struggle to find self-satisfaction and self-esteem growth.  The lack of maturity and life experience in seemingly adult bodies often leads to bad decisions and conflicts with parents and school officials.

The positive thing is that most persons adjust to middle school and then high school after going through growing pains.

It is important during these adolescent years that you try hard to keep good communication open with our children.  We must listen to them, have their confidence and give them the best advice we can.  That is what good parenting is all about.

That you are close as a family is very important to “survive” the adolescence years of your children.  Parents must have developed strong bonding since birth to have the family strength to overcome the many societal and peer temptations that are so available to adolescence:  Inappropriate sexuality, illegal drugs, dare devil activities and poor peer choices to name a few.

A strong spiritual or strong moral sense of right and wrong must be in place to help your son and other children make good decisions and be a positive leader for his peers.  That he will make many mistakes is to be expected.  Make sure you are there to be a strong guide and example for him.  With your support, he will hopefully focus more and more on being a good person, friend, citizen, son, student and contributor to society.

Dr. Braccio Talks on “The Drive With Jack Ebling” Radio Show with Graham Couch of the Lansing State Journal and Jack Ebling on 4/22/14 about how the continuing glow of the “Rose Bowl” will last for a long time.  They discuss how the feelings for the future konya merkez kadın escort ongoing success for the program in 2014 are much higher than they were in 1988.  They also discuss the 2014 football season.  As always, the key is how the future will play out.

http://www.spreaker.com/user/5707063/dr-john-h-braccio-april-22-2014

Dr.Braccio talks about what happens karatay bayan arkadaş psychologically if the citizens of a Constitutional Republic lose faith in their elected officials in Washington, D.C.  Sadly, he feels many citizens feel this way.  Hopefully, this will change over time.

Dr.Braccio talks about the amazing relationship between “Princess kocasinan escort bayan Lacey” and Adreian Payne.

They both gained so much from each other.  It was a unique friendship of great love. No one can know the facts and not have tears of great happiness and sadness. I hope there is eventually a movie about the whole situation to make millions feel good about the human race. We read so much about the evil deeds of human beings that it is wonderful to see good deeds of human beings clothed in golden loving friendship. We need more of this. They each had great adversity and in their own ways nobly overcame them with their remarkable loving friendship.

Dr. Braccio Talks to Rich Herl on the “Tony Conley Radio Show” about The Motivation of Ivan Lopez in his shooting rampage at Fort Hood on 4/8/14.

This month we have added 2 new free downloads ! All downloads are anamur eskort bayan currently free.

How do you get over the disappointment of not getting your dream job?  How do you get past not getting the big account that could grow your business and change your life?  How do you get over not getting the big raise that could give your family financial security?   How does an athlete like Keith Appling get over a poor performance in his last game as a Spartan?

Dr.Braccio talks with Jack Ebling and Graham Couch, of the Lansing eskort mersin State Journal, about the amazing emotion raging in the psyches of the players, coaches and fans in a one and out tournament such as the NCAA Basketball Tournament.  They discuss the emotions that must have been going thought he minds of Seniors Keith Appling and Adreian Payne when they saw their 16 point lead turn into a 2 point deficit and their careers could have ended.  They also discuss the heartbreak of Wichita State when losing to Kentucky when a last shot failed ending a historic 35 game winning streak.

Flight 370 in Malaysia has generated great human interest for millions around the world.We can relate on kocasinan eskort bayan these factors among others:  We all fly.  We all could imagine this happening to us or someone we love.  We put our total trust in the pilots.  We have families and loved ones.  We can identify with losing a family member.  Who could imagine a 777 being lost for nearly two weeks?  What happened inside the plane?  What did the passengers know and when did they know it?  How did the passengers feel?  Additionally, there are concerns about potential terrorism, hope overtaking reality, the concern of evil versus good, and potential use of the 777 plane as a terrorism instrument.

Question

Dr.Braccio:  My worrying sent me to kocasinan escort ilanları the emergency room.  I thought I was going to die.  My whole body was trembling, my heart was pounding and I had a splitting headache.   I was told I had a panic attack and to quit worrying.  I’d like to but I am a worrier and feel I should be.  My mother and sisters are the same as me.  We laugh and agree I have just taken worrying to a new level.  My adult children and husband tell me to loosen up and stop seeing the worst possible outcome to everything.  I know they’re right, but what can I do to change?  I can’t have another panic attack.  I have medication from my family physician but want to control my own feelings without it.  I was actually worrying about an interview for a promotion my son was taking in Illinois when my panic attack began.

Answer

You need to relax, stop and smell the roses.  Do not believe you “should” be a worrier.  Life is too short to always be worrying and accepting it as a part of your life.  By expecting the worst, you take worrying over small every day matters to the level of “catastrophic “ events.

You can change but it will be hard because you have been at it for years.  Hopefully the fear of panic attacks can help you to change your outlook so it never happens again.  As you have found, panic attacks are horrible and to be avoided.

Whether your son got the promotion or not, your getting a panic attack and going to the hospital over it had no impact on his interview and caused you needless emotional and physical agony.

The following are some suggestions to help to reduce the possibilities of having another panic attack.

1.    Continue to meet with your physician about the use of medication. That may be necessary until you can take more control of your anxiety.

2.    Eliminate “should” from your vocabulary.  It infers a moral failure that you are not doing something you must do.  This leads to useless guilt.

3.    Replace the word “should” with a choice statement.  For example, “I choose to help or not help my neighbor today”, versus, “I should help my neighbor”.

4.    Smile and laugh when you feel intense and ready to worry.

5.    Recognize all the worrying in the world will not change what happens.

6.    Find joy in life everyday.

7.    Use deep breathing, self-hypnosis, meditation, yoga, music or any other way to relax and put the “tiger” to sleep and bring out the peaceful “lamb” in you.

8.    Recognize the emotional and physical cost of worrying.  The trip to the hospital and the agony of a panic attack show you the havoc worry does to your body and mind.

9.    Choose a worry time every day when you will worry and push worries away until that time  This can be very helpful.

10.  Exercising.

11.  Talking with a friend.

11.  Determine what you can realistically do day-by-day and do it.

12.  If necessary, seek out a therapist experienced in panic attack treatment if you cannot effectively get over your anxiety and any resulting panic attacks.

Any questions or comments would be appreciated.

If you feel you need outside support, you can seek out a pastor and/or therapist experienced in such situations as yours.

The rewards for you and the children are so huge that no effort can be too great to keep your marriage together.

Any questions or comments would be greatly appreciated.

http://www.drjohnb.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/14-01-Megamix.mp3

Question

7.    Learn to love yourself more.  You will then find far more understanding and love for others.

8.    Focus on active listening.  This means you listen to what someone says, ask questions to resolve what you do not understand and with that information, respond in a civilized and problem solving mode.

9.    Admit when you are wrong.  Honest contrition has mellowed countless angry hearts.

10.  Find at least one good thing to say about people you see every day.

11.  Spend time every day being grateful for what you have in life.

12.  Cut out sarcastic comments completely.  They are hurtful and a form of bomb throwing that will never be helpful to anyone.

13.  Before you make a statement, ask yourself if it will gain you what you desire.  An example would be if you wanted a friend to help you, you would not yell at them and demand they help you.

14.  Stop drinking alcohol.  That things are worse when “doing some drinking” is a clear sign that alcohol is bad for  you and to stop drinking would be a positive thing.

It will be hard for you to change after being this way for your whole life.  The positive thing in your favor is you desire to change and are aware of the problem.  That you love your children shows you have the capacity to effectively love yourself and others.