August 25, 2026-
We live in an age when 40% of divorces in the United States are with persons 50 years old and
older. Common reasons for this would include persons living longer, people not living happily
day-to-day together after children leave and retirement, and persons just deciding they do not
love each other and want to spend their last maybe 20-40 years away from that person.
Whatever the reason, divorces are extremely high in this age group. A not surprising outcome is that there are many “gray marriages” where persons are marrying usually at least for the second time at 50 years or older. Common reasons for marrying at 50 are similar to marrying at an earlier time and would include someone loving them, them loving someone, affection and
intimacy, financial security, emotional security, companionship, mutual personal growth, and
enjoying sharing a life with someone on a daily basis. Concerns not always thought about but
critical to having a successful “gray marriage” would include a prenuptial agreement to eliminate potential anger and frustration with each other and family members, open awareness of the financial situation of each person prior to the marriage, honest discussion about how each will look after one or the other if health collapses and there is a need for care, estate planning, a mutually trusted family member or corporate trustee to manage the estate when death occurs, and full involvement of all members of what will become a blended family. It amazes me how many people I have personally known who have entered a “gray marriage” and ended up having major conflicts with their children, children of their spouse, and problems after their death because things were not planned and everyone ends up mad at each other and too often there is a breakdown for life with members of the family who are left behind when the person dies. Love and companionship can be critical for someone at any age, but a “gray marriage” requires a lot of planning other than wanting love and companionship, and not taking into account the many problems that can occur without good planning and communication with all involved persons can turn your “gray marriage” into a nightmare for you and everyone else involved. I cannot too strongly suggest that persons considering a “gray marriage” do a lot of planning prior to their marriage other than the critical elements of loving each other and wanting companionship.