Question
Dr. Braccio: My wife and I are the proud parents of two mature high school teenagers who are doing fine.Our problem is that my income is actually going down silifke eskort ilanları and our increasing costs are causing us to have a hard time financially. We decided years ago to not have my wife work so there is always one parent near. The success of the children convinces us we’ve made the right decision. Now we feel we must change and my wife needs to reenter the work place. She has kept her computer skills up and is marketable. She’s willing but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea. What should we do? I feel somewhat like a loser. My wife says this is not my fault and we’ll be fine.
Answer
You are not a loser and you will be fine. The success of the children and the marriage relate to the decision you both made many years ago. For many people, these are tough economic times. This is only enhanced when you have high school teenagers and something as basic as gas is over two dollars a gallon.
The problem is that your world has changed with your income going down and your expenses going up. That the children are older and mature and your wife is willing and able to work are positive factors if your wife goes back to work.
As a family, talk about what responsibilities each of you has. You need to divide up home responsibilities more effectively if your wife is to work. The children particularly need to know changes will occur. It seems they are mature enough to deal with this. Assuming your wife goes back to work, the next question is the amount of time she will work. Obviously, working part-time is better than full time as far as causing less home disruption. This may not be possible. The children may need to work more and pay more of their own expenses if they do not already.
Even though it is positive to plan for the future in your situation, you two can applaud the success you have had as a family over the years. To raise two mature teenagers doing fine in this day and age is very difficult. You two have done it. This will not change with your wife returning to work. You also need to know that millions of couples both work and are effective as parents and family members.
A positive way to look at this is simply that you wife will work a few years earlier than after the youngest graduates from high school. This is in effect just an earlier beginning of your post “empty nest syndrome” life.
As a final thought, you may find by reducing expenses or taking out a home equity loan or refinancing your home that you wife can stay home until your youngest is out of high school. However, you need to talk to someone versed in finances before you make this type of decision.