Question:
Dr.Braccio: I’m struggling and nervous about something mersin anamur eskort bayanları everyone thinks should make me happy. I’m fifty years old and have been dating a wonderful widower. He has asked me to marry him. My kids, friends, family and his family are happy for me. We met at church and even the pastor is happy. The problem is I’ve been alone without a man since my husband left the state over twenty-five years ago after we divorced and we’ve never heard from him again. Because of that horrible experience and my being so busy over the years raising my children and working outside of the home, I turned my feelings off and have been relatively happy alone. Now I have the chance to marry a wonderful man. His family loves me and mine him. Why can’t I accept this? I believe I want it but am afraid. He tells me to take my time and he will be patient. My kids tell me to marry him and my pastor thinks he is the right man for me but says to pray on it. I’m worn out. What’s wrong with me. What can I do?
Answer:
There is nothing wrong with you. You have concerns. Based on what happened to you in the past , they are reasonable.
It also is true you have cared for yourself and previously your children on your own for many years. Applaud yourself for this great sacrifice and love you have shown for the children and your overall human success story. You are a model for many single parents.
What you must do now is decide how you want to spend the rest of your life. You appear to have the choice of staying single or marrying this “wonderful widower”. Only you can decide what to do. Others can advise you and support you, but the ultimate decision is yours.
I believe for one who wants to be married, that a good marriage is the greatest gift a human being can have. The love a loving couple shares can diminish the biggest of disappointments and increase the satisfaction of happy times. It is having someone there to share all the moments of your lives. This includes laughing together over the happy times as well as crying and supporting each other during the sad times.
If your life is full and you do not want to open yourself up and risk yourself and feelings in a marital relationship, then do not do it now. Your friend tells you to take your time. Follow his advice.
Do not let the bad experiences with your ex-husband cause so much fear in you that you are afraid to commit to a relationship. That would give victory over you to a man who betrayed his responsibilities to his children and left you to take care of them.
This man does not at all appear to be anything like your ex-husband. The only thing they seem to have in common is that they are men.
If you do consider marrying this man, it is always a good practice to see what the person’s family as well as your family and significant others think of him. He obviously passes this test with As. His family, your family, your friends and your pastor all feel he is a good man and would be a good husband.
It does appear you want to marry him. You say “I believe I want it, but am afraid”. Do not let fear motivate you. This appears to be a second chance for a good marriage; however, you are the one who must ultimately make this decision.