Tag: improve short term memory

June 2, 2026- In a nation where half of those who get married or remarried have a strong chance of divorcing, it certainly makes a lot of sense to make sure you are ready when you get married. A further negative outcome of ill advised marriages that end in divorce that is often not considered is the impact of divorce on children. It is not talked about enough, but the well documented negative results of divorce on children that include educational attainment, educational achievement, parental estrangement, economic home strength, anger and psychological issues, identity confusion, socialization issues and low self-esteem need to be taken into account when divorce is considered. From someone who has worked with married couples and individuals getting divorced over the years, a common reason divorced persons or unhappily married persons have given me when asked why they married said they were not thinking clearly about the decision. This is actually shocking when one considers how important marriage is, and how often people will spend weeks debating what type of a car or appliance to buy before they buy it, but will get married and quite possibly have children, when clearly the odds of the marriage failing are far greater.
They people do all the appropriate planning and thinking prior to getting married. Common reasons persons give for having gotten married that they now know were not good reasons would include believing they were too invested in the relationship to not marry even when loaded with doubts, too young and immature, under extreme pressure from outside persons and family to marry, educational differences, life goals, spending priorities, child rearing, spiritual differences, deciding to go contrary to what friends and family who advised them not to get married, feeling short term intense shallow love that seemed unbreakable, physical attraction that was extreme, no real knowledge of each other, rebounding from a divorce or horrible breakup, unrealistic expectations, fears of being alone, choosing to be married when not being married seems worse, and financial need and support. A simple point here is that prior to getting married, couples need to get to know each other very well and determine what the expectations for the marriage and their future include. To not do this is to greatly increase the possibility of unhappiness and divorce.

May 26, 2026
I personally have worked with and evaluated many persons with ADHD over the decades where the characteristics they exhibit in the workplace negatively impact their ability to effectively fulfill their job requirements. This is true with many persons who are working in areas they personally love and went through extensive training to be able to do. It is not a lack of ability or desire. Before I identify characteristics that persons exhibit that have ADHD, it is important we not include in this group persons who by choice do not work to their ability and do not try to function to their highest level and as a result, find themselves having problems in the workplace. No, we are talking about persons who have ADHD and are having problems in the workplace because of it, but have not been diagnosed. As a result, they have received no medical or mental health suggestions for overcoming it. Persons with ADHD have some combination of the characteristics of lack of focus, inattention, impulsivity, hyperactivity, and procrastination. When undiagnosed and untreated, the impact can be devastating in the workplace. Characteristics of ADHD that negatively impact the person in the workplace would include poor focus on required activities, time blindness/losing track of time, inability to focus on tasks, high error rate due to lack of focus and inattention, joblessness over time due to poor work performance, a poor team member on projects that require team effort to complete them, poor productivity, stress related work absences, stigma of having the ADHD label, mind travel from one thought to another when paying attention is critical, procrastination, problems with organizing activities, problems with prioritizing activities, distractibility, impulsivity, and poor memory. It is important to remember that no one has all of these characteristics, but even a few of them can cause you problems in doing effective work in the workplace. If you feel you have any of these characteristics and they are
negatively impacting you in your job performance, then I would suggest you seek out an ADHD evaluation by a psychologist and receive appropriate medication and mental health recommendations consistent with your specific needs. A trained therapist in ADHD and the resulting potential negative impact in the workplace could be helpful. The first step is to
determine if you do have ADHD, and if so, what can be done to best help you overcome the characteristics if they are negatively impacting you in the workplace.

05-19-2026
Too many adults are very unhappy and sometimes functioning very poorly as adults because of growing up with toxic parents in dysfunctional homes that had various degrees of instability, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and just emotionally unhealthy conditions. At a minimum, it was bad modeling and children coming from these homes as adults often find it very
hard to know what is appropriate behavior in relationships with people ranging from short term interactions to close friends and family members in a stable manner. This instability can lead to poor relationships, poor academic achievement, lacking trust in others, anger, poor employment behavior, eating disorders, inappropriate sexual behaviors, anxiety, PTSD, depression and poor self-esteem. In order to overcome these problems as adults, it is important that the person let go emotionally and physically from parents and family members who are toxic and cause them emotional distress. Emotional healing is done by accepting what happened and see the poor behavior of their parents for what it really was. Do not try to sugarcoat it and not allow these previous bad parental behaviors to control who you are as a person now. You need to learn to trust others based on how they are treating you. When you determine who you can trust, you can then be honest with them to gain some insight into your behaviors and how you look at life. As appropriate, seek out a trained therapist with experience with adults who grew up in dysfunctional and psychologically devastating homes to learn the right path to personal satisfaction and not allowing the past to destroy the present and future. The combination of counseling and the person learning to make good decisions in relationships with others can lead to a successful and happy life in the present, which means there will be a good future with the emotional and physical destruction from the past put in its appropriate dumpster and not being allowed to be destructive as you lead hopefully a happy and successful life. It is critical adults who grew up in dysfunctional toxic homes not allow their parents who mistreated them to negatively impact their ability to lead successful lives with others and themselves in the present.

May 12, 2026- While it is true that women often will not commit to a relationship, our topic today is why men will not commit to a relationship. This is frustrating and can be devastating to a woman who is looking forward to a relationship with a man who just will not commit. At times these men may seem close and they may profess love and do all the things one would expect as steps leading to the final lifetime commitment. That these steps do not lead to a final commitment shows it is a problem not only for the person who will not get the commitment, but often for the person not giving it. I have known many men over the years who could not make a commitment and ended up making a commitment to someone else they loved, but they feel they could have loved someone more if they had only made the commitment when the time was right. Typical reasons a man will not commit would include fear of responsibilities, fearing a loss of freedom, not willing to give up the single life, has had previous disastrous relationships, fear of committing again and being rejected, difficult growing up home experiences that make him fearful to enter a lifelong relationship with someone, fear of arguing constantly in a home and not having peace, unfulfilled career educational goals, fears of abandonment, feeling unworthy of being loved, poor timing in relation to where they are in life and desire to be, cannot make a person number one but always number two or lower, happy with the relationship the way it is, may only want sex, may want many women and not only one, desires to be more stable financially, not comfortable if the partner is making more income than he is, and many other reasons that can exist. While this may seem like a large list of reasons that persons are fearful of entering into a lifelong commitment, there are things to do to counter these potential problem areas and make sure you are not drawn into a never-ending relationship with no commitment to you. They would include determining what you want and need as a relationship develops, indicate to your partner openly and do not hide them and then develop great anger and frustration, become friends first and sexual partners second, keep things very basic and simple as far as your goals and desires, be patient but have a clear ending time so you can maintain self-respect and an opportunity to find someone who wants to be committed to you for a lifetime. It also can be helpful when in such a situation to seek the advice of loving family and friends as well as a trained therapist experienced in such situations.