The following question comes from a spouse whose husband is escort mersin underemployed and the result is a family in turmoil. The suggestions I give could be helpful to you. In the difficult economy of Michigan, this is a common problem we see with families seeking counseling. At a positive level, be aware these are some things you can do to make things better.
Question
Our family is in turmoil since my husband lost his job and took a lesser one. What can one parent do when the other one is unhappy at work?
Answer
We sometimes underestimate the importance of having a job comparable to one’s abilities. In a time of major corporate downsizing and privatizing in government, it ought not be surprising that many people are clearly not in jobs comparable to their training and ability. While the comparisons may seem extreme, ask yourself how happy General George Patton would have been making guns or Julius Caesar spears? Many of those with spouses unhappily underemployed will readily tell you the suffering they are going through and how this negatively impacts on them and the family; and often on friendships and the overall quality of life of the family.
If someone’s spouse is suffering from one or more of the following:
Consider the following seven suggestions:
- Listen, Listen and Listen Some More. People who are suffering and see no way out of their work related dilemma need to talk about it with a kind and sympathetic spouse, family members and friends. There is no substitute for caring empathy by the spouse and others who care for the person in work related turmoil.
- Give Praise For Doing the Job and Recognition of How Difficult it is to go to a Job You are Overqualified For. Getting up daily and going to work is a major task for many under the best of circumstances and it can be torture if one hates the job and sees it far below his/her capabilities. Giving encouragement to keep trying to do his/her best along with praise for doing it for the sake of family and other valid reasons can be critical to the person continuing to function as effectively as possible.
- Constant encouragement to keep resume updated and look for a more fulfilling job. It can be good mental health to simply put a resume together. Even if a job does not develop, having the resume ready for a possible job prospect can be positive and have the person who is unhappily under-employed feel he/she is doing something about the problem.
- Seek Out Avocations. When one’s work is unfulfilling, putting one’s energies into avocations can be useful; and often, pleasurable avocations turn into successful vocations.
- For those who believe in God, help your spouse find a spiritual understanding and healing to make his/her life more livable. While faith is a very individual experience, having it can be remarkably helpful in times of great crisis and emotional turmoil.
- Find activities to enhance family unity and let genuine human love within the family heal some of your spouse’s pain. Of all earthly sources, the family is clearly the most obvious unit to help a member in emotional turmoil. To utilize the family in mutually enjoyable activities and to help a member is only reasonable.
- Utilizing professional counseling may be useful in some situations. When the spouse cannot cope with the condition of the spouse suffering or needs are greater than one can give, then seeking out well experienced professional help is what is needed.
As a final comment, we all know how humanly painful it is to see an exceptional human being devastated by feelings that are not healthy for the person, spouse or other family members due to under-employment. To change the course of such sad feelings in someone we love makes attempting the suggestions made here worth the effort. In order to make a difference in the lives of those we love, we must believe we can do it and try to bring it about with energetic gusto! Go for it!
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