Tag: Panic Attacks

08-26-2025- It always amazes me how some of the most wonderful and even successful people are
constantly being overwhelmed by the inner critic that constantly tells them they are not good
enough and that they should quit trying to do things so they can simply exist in a world that does
not allow them to do all the things they desire and are capable of doing. At a common sense
level, it makes no sense that a person would be hindered in life by a seemingly part of them, this
inner critic, that is constantly stopping them from achieving and doing their best. With that said,
countless people are held back in life by an emotionally destructive inner critic that is always
trying to stop them from being able to fulfill their dreams in a devastating manner. It is not
always easy to identify how this inner critic came about and can have such power over a
person. It is safe to say that many persons with this inner critic grew up in homes where they
were shamed, told they were too big for their britches, told they would never amount to
anything, were constantly told they were not good enough, were an embarrassment and told to
quit trying. They generally grew up believing they should not try too hard because failure would
be the result and that would be more shameful than not doing things and failing as predicted.
There also are persons whose inner critic simply questions whatever they are doing and the
result is they do not try to do anything and they are constantly being held back from achieving
what they desire by this internal critic who in fact controls them. Even when the person becomes
aware how destructive this inner critic is to them, and they may even have always been aware
of it, it is very hard to overcome it. It is often ingrained into the personality of the person and it
becomes the default position whenever they are trying to do things. The statements that come
from the inner critic would include you are not good enough, quit trying to do this, it is best you
not do this because you will fail, you are not good at anything, there is no point in trying to do
something, etc., in a never-ending pattern of inner critic negative thoughts. I believe it is fair to
say that most of us have had times where the inner critic stops us from achieving to our
potential, and we must accept that some of our dreams have not been completed not because
we did not have the ability, but because the inner critic convinced us not to try. Ways to
overcome the inner critic would include questioning the inner critic about the validity of the
statements that are coming forward, not allowing the inner clinic to take control of their dreams,
talking to other persons about how they perceive you and ask them about things that you desire
to attempt to do and get their honest input, become compassionate with self, love yourself, and
recognize in spite of your flaws you are a very good person who desires to be more successful
in life and crush your inner critic. If in fact you do have some problems with your inner critic that
you would like to overcome, then determine to lead a life where you are going to make
decisions based on the best information available and not some inner critic who is trying to take
control of you,and in effect does control you from leading what could be clearly be a more happy
life. I often talk about the importance of recognizing that we have a one time shot on earth.
Every minute we waste allowing the inner critic to control our thinking is wasting time that we
can never get back. It is time we crush the destructive inner critic and move forward and make
better decisions that can make us much happier. If we find we cannot do this on our own
because our inner critic is too overpowering, then we can meet with friends and family we trust
to try to help us overcome it. We also can consider a therapist experienced in such matters to
help us overcome and crush the destructive inner critic.

August 19, 2025- I am sure there will be those who hear the topic of “choose to love life” and will be saying,”I don’t have much to love in my life, so there is very little to choose.” I will respect your view but say you have to take another look at your life if you want to be happy. I strongly say if you choose to love life that you can be much happier and look forward to each day that you live. I strongly believe that persons choose the happiness they have in their lives. This is said, even acknowledging that many persons have more advantages in their lives to make them happy, but the ultimate choice of the level of choosing to love life we have is within ourselves. To love life is to enjoy the road we experience on our one time trip on earth. Whether or not one believes in an eternal life after we die, the one thing we know for sure is that we are on earth and we have a finite amount of time to live here. The point is not for you to wake up at 80 years old and realize you have not enjoyed the road and have not loved life. Loving life is seeing each day as a new experiment for you to try out all the things you have learned on how to be happy and how to love life. In order to love life, we need to love ourselves, we need to be cultivating happiness and positivity in our lives, we need to be showing gratitude for what we have, we need to eat healthy and nourish the body that we have to make sure it functions at its highest possible level, we need to be living in the now and not letting the past control the present and future or focusing only on the future and not enjoying the present. Overall, we need a philosophy of life that promotes love of life that is nourished by the constant challenges of life and the fulfillment that comes from successfully meeting them. We love life if we see it as an opportunity to not just make ourselves happy, but to also demonstrate love and caring in a way that we help others to the point that our life has been significant with a meaningful purpose. When we choose to love life, we are becoming a model for other people to make them happier and more successful in life in addition to making ourselves happier with the love for life we are experiencing that we have chosen.

August 12, 2025 I have always found the nature versus nurture debate to be both entertaining and very interesting. There are many persons who will argue genetics are far superior than the life experiences that one has in determining their success in life. On the other hand, there are many persons who are convinced that the opportunities one has in life are far superior to genetic make up. The question is if a person is more impacted by their genetic make up or their life experiences. I am of the belief that both are very important and it really is impossible to make an absolute decision one way or the other. There clearly are people who seem to have better aptitude for certain types of academics, sporting activities or social experiences than others. On the other hand, it is rather clear that experiences have a huge impact on your opportunities to succeed and do well in life. The fact that identical twins who have the same genetic make up often achieve differently and appear to have different talents clearly shows that environment is critical in terms of what people do and not just genetic make up. I personally had two good friends in my youth who became engineers. One was superb academically and did his degree in four years and had a successful career. The other lacked the ability of the other, but had a tenaciousness and an absolute desire to become a big time engineer. It took him six years to do a four-year engineering degree but ended up building roads all over the world for a multinational company. I also have known persons in my practice and on the road of life with tremendous abilities in various academic areas and very strong interpersonal skills that never had the opportunities in life to expand on these skills, and as a result, never developed or achieved to their potential. We also see this in sports where someone with greater natural ability often does not achieve to the level of the tenacious and totally dedicated athlete with less physical ability but with a burning desire to achieve to the highest possible level. I have seen persons with limited abilities finely hone them to the highest possible level and become very successful in their fields. Another factor not talked about is personal attractiveness as defined by the time they are living. Persons who are seen as attractive in a society are often given opportunities that persons who are not seen as attractive do not. This clearly is not fair, but is a reality. There was a study done some years ago that showed when persons talked to persons on a phone who they believed were attractive, they treated them better than if they felt they were not attractive. Attractiveness would be a genetic factor that is usually not talked about when persons are talking about nature versus nurture. I only mention it because I think if anyone looks at the world as it is, they will see that being attractive is a positive factor and opens opportunities in life. With that said, many persons who are not attractive have great success due to competence,confidence and solid communication skills. My final thought is that the whole issue of nature versus nurture is going to be debated as long as humans debate issues, but there never will be complete agreement. I believe it is simply safe to say that if a person has the opportunity and desire to develop their skills to their maximum potential, it is predictable they will do it. It also is true that individuals need to focus on what skills they have and develop them as best they can rather than getting into any type of debate about whether their environment or their genetic make up will determine their success in life. It obviously will be a combination of the two along with your commitment and effort to succeed.