08-26-2025- It always amazes me how some of the most wonderful and even successful people are
constantly being overwhelmed by the inner critic that constantly tells them they are not good
enough and that they should quit trying to do things so they can simply exist in a world that does
not allow them to do all the things they desire and are capable of doing. At a common sense
level, it makes no sense that a person would be hindered in life by a seemingly part of them, this
inner critic, that is constantly stopping them from achieving and doing their best. With that said,
countless people are held back in life by an emotionally destructive inner critic that is always
trying to stop them from being able to fulfill their dreams in a devastating manner. It is not
always easy to identify how this inner critic came about and can have such power over a
person. It is safe to say that many persons with this inner critic grew up in homes where they
were shamed, told they were too big for their britches, told they would never amount to
anything, were constantly told they were not good enough, were an embarrassment and told to
quit trying. They generally grew up believing they should not try too hard because failure would
be the result and that would be more shameful than not doing things and failing as predicted.
There also are persons whose inner critic simply questions whatever they are doing and the
result is they do not try to do anything and they are constantly being held back from achieving
what they desire by this internal critic who in fact controls them. Even when the person becomes
aware how destructive this inner critic is to them, and they may even have always been aware
of it, it is very hard to overcome it. It is often ingrained into the personality of the person and it
becomes the default position whenever they are trying to do things. The statements that come
from the inner critic would include you are not good enough, quit trying to do this, it is best you
not do this because you will fail, you are not good at anything, there is no point in trying to do
something, etc., in a never-ending pattern of inner critic negative thoughts. I believe it is fair to
say that most of us have had times where the inner critic stops us from achieving to our
potential, and we must accept that some of our dreams have not been completed not because
we did not have the ability, but because the inner critic convinced us not to try. Ways to
overcome the inner critic would include questioning the inner critic about the validity of the
statements that are coming forward, not allowing the inner clinic to take control of their dreams,
talking to other persons about how they perceive you and ask them about things that you desire
to attempt to do and get their honest input, become compassionate with self, love yourself, and
recognize in spite of your flaws you are a very good person who desires to be more successful
in life and crush your inner critic. If in fact you do have some problems with your inner critic that
you would like to overcome, then determine to lead a life where you are going to make
decisions based on the best information available and not some inner critic who is trying to take
control of you,and in effect does control you from leading what could be clearly be a more happy
life. I often talk about the importance of recognizing that we have a one time shot on earth.
Every minute we waste allowing the inner critic to control our thinking is wasting time that we
can never get back. It is time we crush the destructive inner critic and move forward and make
better decisions that can make us much happier. If we find we cannot do this on our own
because our inner critic is too overpowering, then we can meet with friends and family we trust
to try to help us overcome it. We also can consider a therapist experienced in such matters to
help us overcome and crush the destructive inner critic.