April 19, 2022
All of us enjoy approval when persons note and complement us on things we have done or said. This is natural and good for self-esteem development as others recognize positive things about us. When the need for personal approval is psychologically destructive is when we have low self-esteem and our opinion of ourselves is not determined by us but by the opinions of others. This is particularly destructive when persons who influence us and whose approval we desire do not give it or give it conditionally. Examples of psychologically destructive approval would include the following: 1. Low self-esteem leads to how others perceive us. 2. Changing a point of view due to it being shunned by someone else. 3. Not saying no or disagreeing with someone for the fear of being personally attacked for being stupid or having low-level thinking. 4.Not complaining when receiving inferior goods, services or poor treatment by others. 5. Constantly seeking approval from someone who will never give it completely and always has conditions. 6. Feeling the need to apologize or minimize thoughts or feelings when challenged by someone else or even when praised due to low self-esteem. 7. Unreasonably seeking out compliments or recognition for self-validation when unnecessary and even inappropriate. 8.Excessive desire for social media recognition to the point of obsession…One can begin to overcome this need for psychologically destructive approval by having a realistic view of self and not allowing others to define you. It is important to note some people, including otherwise loving family and friends, will not give full approval so they can keep you coming back again and again to get the approval they will never fully give. It is important to love yourself in the wise proverb: LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF. Too often the person seeking psychologically destructive approval overlooks the LOVE THYSELF as one must to have good and healthy self-esteem approval needs.